Storyteller
by Rivkayl Jaywash
Summary: River left someone behind at the academy, But getting them out is just the beginning.
1. Chapter 1

The three men walked along a narrow corridor

The three men walked along a narrow corridor. Two followed behind the other, each carrying a suitcase they gripped with care. As they passed under a flickering fluorescent light, anyone watching would have gotten a shock to see their hands such a vibrant colour blue. If one had to describe them, the only word that would fit would be 'unremarkable.' Their faces held no oddities, no inconsistencies in colour or shape. The hair that they did have was minimally darker than their skin. They walked behind the man guiding them, listening thoughtfully to what he was saying, but betraying no sign of it in their faces.

"She was brought here three years ago, and made astounding progress for two of them," the man was saying. He slipped a key into the door and led them through.

"Lately however we've not been able to get much out of her. About a week ago she stopped letting anyone near her."

"Letting, doctor?" one of the other said coldly. The doctor frowned.

"She stopped eating; and when a nurse tried to give her food, she broke her arm." The doctor halted outside another door. "Since then, the other staff have been somewhat reluctant." The two men exchanged glances. One nodded.

"Have you noticed any reason for this change?" one man asked. The doctor nodded at a file in the other's hand, but answered their question.

"She says she's waiting for something. I can't get her to say what. It's all in there, if you need to know." The doctor shuffled uncomfortably as the men continued to scrutinize him.

"I take it you'd like to see her?" he gestured at the door.

"Very much," the men said together. The doctor looked unnerved, but opened the door.

The room was empty save for two chair and table, bathed in light from a single globe that hung above. A thin girl sat on a chair, her knees held up to her chest as she rocked back and forth, muttering to herself. Her arms held bruises; her hair was matted and oily. The two men entered the room. One turned to the doctor as he shut the door.

"we'll be fine," he said, and closed the door before the doctor could protest. The other strode to the table and sat down, placing his briefcase carefully on the ground beside him. He placed the file on the table, opening it briefly before addressing the girl.

"Madeline, is it?" he asked gently. The girl looked up, sharp eyes glaring at him. A pinprick red scab shone in the light, chillingly accurate between her eyes.

"shouldn't ask questions you already know the answer to," the girl said shakily, "wastes time! Time you can't get back. No right to take it from me." The volume of her voice fluctuated alarmingly, but the men seemed unperturbed. One paced around the girl before standing behind the other and observing the girl. The seated man looked down at the file, before, smiling, trying again.

"You are Madeline, yes?" he asked. The girl pushed her hair out of her eyes with a trembling hand, her eyes unfocused.

"Not who I am. My name. Something I can be summoned with. Doesn't capture my essence." The men exchanged satisfactory glances.

"Are you waiting for something, Madeline?" The man asked.

"He does it again. Stupid imbecile." The girl muttered to herself.

"what are you waiting for?" The standing man asked. Madeline let out a loud laugh. She looked at the seated man and smiled.

"No' a very smart one, is ya?" she said, suddenly taking on the accent of settlers on the border planets. "no, not too smart. Can't even answer 'is questions! It's sittin' there, front o' your mind. How is it that I can see it and you can't? Silly thing, asks questions he already knows. Anyone round these parts knows not to do that! And you think you can just throw the time like that." She leaned back and laughed again, and her eyes snapped onto the man before her.

"lacking self confidence, that's wha' it is. Knows the answer but seeks confirmation. Hate to see 'im in a contest. Little man screaming inside, 'fraid o' lions and tigers and bears, and things tha' go bump in the night. Makes you feel big, dunnit? Squishing little boys and girls til there ain't nothing left but a shell."

The seated man smiled. He shut the file with careful deliberation.

"I understand you were good friends with River Tam when she was here," the man said., "can you tell me about that?"

Madeline had already slipped back into her huddled stance. She said nothing.

"is that who you're waiting for, Madeline?" Madeline cocked her head to one side.

"Wait. Why shouldn't I? trust… her. Come take me away from Neverland; don't want to be a lost girl any more."

The two men smiled.

"Thankyou Madeline," they said, and exited the room.

The doctor was waiting anxiously on the outside.

"Keep her under surveillance," the men said without stopping. "Tell us anything that changes."

"But…" the doctor hurried to catch up with them. "We can't do anything with her! Sure, she has amazing potential, but…"

The men turned and gazed down at him.

"you have your orders," one said.

"I suggest you obey them." The other finished.

Simon walked into the infirmary and bent over a bench top, busily sorting through supplies. He nearly jumped out of his skin when a small voice spoke to him.

"The adrenaline's out of date."

"fay-fay duh pee-yen," Simon muttered, "River, don't…do that!" He turned to see her legs hanging over the bed, and her head out of sight on the other side. He walked carefully around the bed to where she hung up-side down, her long dark hair falling on the floor as she stared unblinkingly at the wall. Simon crouched down until he was eye to eye with his sister.

"What are you doing?" he asked gently.

"trying to see better," River said matter-of-factly. Simon frowned.

"How is this helping you to do that?" Simon asked.

"I have a theory," River said. Simon smiled.

"What's that?"

"If I look upside down it will all come right way up."

"Has it worked?" Simon asked. River didn't answer. Simon grasped her hand and pulled her upright.

"River, you don't have to remember what happened to you at the academy," he said, pushing some hair out of her eyes. River looked at him

"You said it might help," she said. Simon smiled

"If you can remember, then it will help. But I don't want you to worry about it." He hugged her.

"All I care about is that you are alright." he said.

"sommat else you should care 'bout, doc," Mal limped into the room, his leg bleeding. Wash and Kaylee followed close behind.

"What in the tyen-shiao duh?" Wash asked.

"Job gone bad, captain?" Kaylee asked worriedly. Simon pulled river out of the way and began rummaging through the drawers. Mal pulled himself onto the bed.

"Yeah, little disagreement as to the payment," Mal said breezily. "Gorram it, doc, careful with that leg, I only got one!"

"Two, actually," Jayne leant against the doorway. Mal glared at him.

"One left one."

"I'm sorry, I've got to get this bullet out," Simon said through his concentration.

"Wouldn't want his leg to fall off," River muttered. Mal grimaced at her.

"Thank you for those comforting words," he said sarcastically.

"Come on, sweetie," Kaylee grasped River's arm and led her out of the infirmary, "let's not get in their way." River followed Kaylee without looking away from Mal.

"She got a fixation with blood now?" Jayne commented, examining his gun. Kaylee glared at him.

"Sometimes I feel like this ship is something out of Hammin's treasure," Kaylee said, half to herself. River looked at her.

"Treasure?" River asked. Kaylee smiled.

"You know, the fairy tale that…"

"Hammin goes searching for earth-that-was, with his crew, past Reaver territory, and finds the end of space, a paradise," River finished. Kaylee nodded, but found herself alone. River had run back into the infirmary.

"…and if you can't numb me, at least give me a bullet to bite!" Mal was fuming at Simon. Jayne waved his gun.

"We need a fairytale," River announced.

"No arguments here," Mal hid his surprise. "you got any idea what she's on about?" he asked Simon.

"No," Simon said bracingly. River looked at him.

"Fairytale… we read them. I remembered, but not all…" River ran her hand along her head.

"There was a boy… he took you away and you never came back… but he became them, and we tried to hide…"

"Can you shut her up? I'm in pain enough here!" Mal muttered

"River, can you…" Simon began, before changing tact. "Whatever it is, you'll have to tell me later."

"No… it's here, I need to or I'll lose it…"River was becoming agitated. Mal rolled his eyes.

"There were letters… and stories and we read…something, different places and finding way home, and I said something… because you were the wizard who gave me the shoes…"

"Gorramit, is there any way of making her not talk?" Mal said through gritted teeth.

"She can't help it, captain," Simon said, adding for what felt like the umpteenth time, "I don't know what the alliance did to her, but their messing around with her brain is not going to be fixed overnight. She's not doing this to annoy anyone!"

"Well she ain't succeeding then," Mal muttered.

"We need to go back!" River yelled suddenly. Everyone looked at her.

"Beggin' your pardon, crazy miss," Mal slid off the bed and limped over to her, "but if I go back planet side I'm likely to receive a less than friendly welcome." He turned to his pilot.

"Wash, set a course for Whitefall. See if can't unload some o' this on whatever sorry soul's managing that rock these days."

Wash rolled his eyes. "Patience, sir."

"Still her, is it?" Mal said casually, "better be ready with guns then."

"Sounds good to me," Jayne slung his over his shoulder. Simon looked despairingly at the mess that had been left as the rest of the crew dispersed.

"Jien tah duh guay…" he muttered as he began to clean. River walked over and pulled him up by his shoulder.

"Ow! River, what-?"

"We need to go back." River said, and Simon frowned at the tremble in her voice.

"We can't River," he said, grasping her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, "the ship's already in the air."

"Not the planet," River said loudly. She grasped her forehead and stared pointedly at Simon. He looked at her, confused.

"Then where…"

"The place of.. the place with blue hands, things that catch you, things that trap you.. You think you'll learn but you don't… Simon…"

Simon had backed away slightly.

"You mean the academy?" He asked incredulously. River nodded.

"We have to go back," she whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

The nurse shut the door

_The nurse shut the door. River crouched down, rummaging through the piles of letters for anything with her name on it. Others were doing the same, else hovering around in anxious wait for their turn. River rose, a package and two letters in her hand. She walked over to Madeline and handed her the package. Madeline nodded her thanks._

_The two girls wandered off into a side room, crawling onto a bed and examining their treasures. River stroked the paper as though she could hear Simon's words by touching the ink. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' Simon had written, 'but I don't think it's possibly for me to be any fonder of you. I love you, mei-mei. Write back soon.' River clutched at the paper and, folding it carefully, hid it under her pillow._

"_Storyteller?"_

_River looked up. Madeline was holding out a book. River took it. 'Tales of Earth-That-Was.' The younger girl moved over beside River, leaning her head on her shoulder._

"_Mummy sent them," Madeline whispered. "Be a story teller?"_

_River hugged Madeline. "Only for you, mei-mei." Little sister. Just as Simon had called her. River blinked, fighting back the pain in her heart before opening the book._

"She wants to do what?!" Mal asked, half laughing. Simon couldn't help joining in.

"I… don't know," Simon raised his hands in despair. "She just said that she wanted to go back."

"Well clearly she's tired of this stable life," Wash joked, "looking forward to the pain and torture and all those lovely things."

Mal stood and faced Simon.

"You'd better find out from your boo-tai jung-tzahng-duh sister exactly why she's wanting to go back to crazyville," Mal said, "if there's trouble brewing I'd like to hear about it." Simon stared.

"Did you just…credit River with having a genuine reason for saying something?" Simon asked, the hint of a smile threatening to appear on his lips. Mal glanced over his shoulder to where Wash was staring at him. He took Simon by the shoulder and marched him a little way away from the controls.

"I'd have to be a fool not to notice that she tends to be right 'bout a lot of things," Mal muttered, "so you go ask her. If it ain't anything it ain't anything, but I got a feeling in my gut that it's worth checking out." He patted Simon on the back and gestured toward the door. Simon sighed and left.

"Hey doc," Zoe said has she passed him. Simon looked up.

"Hi," he said, "um…have you seen River?"

Zoe stopped on the stairs.

"I think I saw her around some of the storage areas," she said, "is she alright? She seemed… odder that usual."

"I don't honestly know," Simon sighed, "thanks."

"Any time!" Zoe's voice floated back through the kitchen. Simon made his way through the ship until he spotted a side door open slightly.

"River?" he asked cautiously. There was almost no light in the room, Simon tripped over something hard as he went. He found her amid a pile of heavy objects, she was pulling more and more out as he approached.

"River, what are you doing?!" He asked.

"There isn't one here!" River yelled.

"Come out of here, River," Simon helped her up. They walked out into the light. Simon sat her down.

"Talk to me, mei-mei," he said lovingly. River smiled, making Simon smile too. She loved it when he called her that.

"I need to find mine," River said softly.

"Your what?" Simon prodded.

"My little sister," River said, "I lost her, and now I remember, but how could I have forgotten… my sister…" River dropped her head, her eyes red and tearful.

"Shh, it's okay," Simon tried to ignore his confusion, as he leant forward and hugged her.

"River, you don't have a sister," Simon whispered.

"I do," River sniffed, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, "I just forgot."

"Tell me about her," Simon said softly. River shook her head.

"I don't remember much. I wish I did," she looked up at Simon. "I just know I promised to get her out, and that we would read stories. And I remember her name."

Simon made his way slowly up to the front of the ship. Mal turned as he heard him approach.

"So, what did the genius have to say?" he asked brightly. Simon sighed and readied himself for the reaction.

"She wants to rescue someone from the academy," he said slowly. Mal's face froze.

"Right, let's go," Wash said jovially.

"Wash!"

"Captain?"

"Now is sure not the time for your fei hua," Mal said. "Doctor, do you have any idea what you just said?"

"I think I have more of an idea than you," Simon said seriously.

"What are we going to do?" Wash asked. Mal laughed.

"Do? We're going to… going to…" he stopped and glared. "Well I ain't exactly sure what we're going to do." He said, pursing his lip and crossing his arms in an effort to maintain composure. He started downstairs but found Simon blocking his way.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to talk to you jeing tsai sister, if it's alright by you," Mal said sarcastically.

"What does that entail?" Simon looked fiercely at the captain.

"I ain't gonna hurt her, if that's what you're thinkin'! Go-hwong tong," Mal growled and pushed past Simon. Simon stumbled to one side. He quickly pulled himself up and ran down the stairs to catch up with Mal, only to find him standing at the base. Mal sighed and turned to Simon.

"Where is she?"

River rested her head on her hands as she lay on the bed, staring unblinkingly at the wall. She did not stir as Mal opened the sliding door.

"What's this I hear 'bout you wantin' to head out on some crazy rescue mission?" Mal stepped into the room, followed closely by Simon.

"Words." River said.

"Come again?"

"You hear words about me. Word you don't know what to think about. So you seek confirmation." River said calmly, still not shifting her gaze.

"Fair enough, but that's no where near what I meant." Mal bent low, until he was eye to eye with River, who slowly moved her eyes to meet his.

"So why is it so important we rescue this person?" Mal said gently.

"Don't ask questions you already know the answer too," River turned her gaze away.

"I don't know the answer, which leads me back to my question," Mal said in frustration.

"You do."

"No, I really don't," Mal bit his tongue, trying not to sound angry. River stayed silent. Mal sighed left the room.

"So what are we going to do?" Simon hurried after him.

"We'll continue to Whitefall, dump the goods and find another Job," Mal said simply.

"We're not going to attempt a rescue?" Simon asked in incredulity.

"No, we ain't."

"Why-"

"Until she can give me a half-way-to-legitimate reason for plowin' head first into a top secret alliance stronghold, I ain't taking Serenity anywhere near it!"

"She has a good reason, captain, she just can't-"

"I ain't in the mood for arguin' the point, doc," Mal growled at Simon, "and you'd best not forget that this is my ship." Mal turned and began walking away.

"Then drop me and River off on Osiris."

Mal laughed.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"I'm not," Simon walked forward. "We'll do this with or without your help."

"Why," Mal became serious.

"It's important to River. Will you drop us there or not?"

"You've really got an intent to be doing this, don't you?" He asked.

"I do."

Mal breathed out harshly through his nose. He looked up at the roof as though hoping to see an answer written above.

"You come up to the bridge in two hours, give me all the info you have. After that I'll consider whether or not to help you with this boo-tai jung-tzahng-duh endeavour. Now I ain't promisin' anything," Mal pointed his finger cautioning at Simon's chest, "But I am willin' to give you the benefit of the doubt."

"Why?" it was Simon's turn to ask. Mal sighed.

"Sometimes I get what your sisters on about. How many times you going to ask me that question before you believe my answer?" He walked away, leaving Simon standing alone in the middle of the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3

Shaking fingers ran themselves along the clips before flicking them open

Shaking fingers ran themselves along the clips before flicking them open. Madeline used her fingers as her eyes in the pitch black of the room. The children had been put to bed little over five minutes ago, and even through the confines of her room Madeline could still hear some of their piercing laments. Madeline explored the inside of the box, grasping a photo and holding it to her chest. She breathed in slowly before pulling out a smooth violin. Even in the dark she recognised the notes, just as she could see the person in the photograph without looking. Madeline carefully placed the bow and the instrument together, resting her chin on it as though it was the most natural thing to do. The note that emerged as she pulled back was so brilliantly clear and strong, as it was soon bolstered by another and another, as sad as if Madeline ad written her thoughts down and handed them out to be read, yet as beautiful as sunrise vocalised. It filled the room, reverberating off the walls until it seemed like music was all that existed between their solidity and the girl kneeling on the floor. Madeline's eyes were closed, but her eyelids flickered as she played with more and more passion. In her minds eye she saw her big sister dancing before her, as they used to before she had gone, the two of them resisting the despair that had threatened to close in around them. Madeline hardly noticed the sudden red glare that shone through her eyelids as the door opened, continued to play until strong arms grasped hers. She screamed, felt her instrument torn from her grasp, and howled as if the last of her blood had been drained from her body. Her eyes were open again and she could see them, crying, reaching desperately for her violin. Then she broke. Sound left. There was nothing. They had snapped her bow, and her violin. They had broken her heart. The door closed again. The darkness engulfed her and she longed to slip into it and never be found again. The fragile nine year old fell onto the concrete floor, felt its cold surface between her fingers.

"Runtse de shang-dee ching daiwuhtzo," She sobbed.

"Hi Simon," Kaylee looked up in surprise.

"Hello," Simon looked from her to Inara, "I'm intruding. I'm sorry, I'll…"

"No, it's fine," Inara rose gracefully, "I was just leaving." She winked at Kaylee as she left.

"What can I do for you?" Kaylee smiled. Simon sat beside her, nearly falling back as the hammock swung. Kaylee grasped his arm.

"Careful there," she said. Simon righted himself.

"I just… wanted to talk to someone," He said tiredly. Kaylee nodded.

"Is River okay?" she asked anxiously.

"Less so than normal," Simon sighed, "she thinks she needs to save her sister."

"She has a sister?"

"Not technically," Simon smiled, "but she must have formed a bond with someone at the academy. Someone called Madeline."

"And she wants to go save her," Kaylee said slowly, "but that would mean going back to the academy and riskin' the both of you gettin' shot by the feds. Simplest task I ever heard," She laughed weakly. Simon smiled.

"Well you'd know how she feels," Kaylee sighed.

"And I wish she didn't have to."

"Ain't a soul in the 'verse who'd wish that on anyone," Kaylee said thoughtfully, "'cept maybe Jayne. But he's not one I'd refer to as a soul."

Simon laughed.

"You know… sometimes I think about why I went after River and each time…" Simon sighed, "Each time I realise how selfish I am."

"I'm… I don't understand," Kaylee looked at him, "you got River out of the academy, so you're selfish?"

"I mean," Simon pushed his hair out of his eyes before continuing.

"When I saw the code in River's letters, I devoted myself to figuring it out because I missed her, and the games we used to play and I was so glad to have that back. But when I figured out what it said, it scared me. A lot. I'm not saying that the reason I went and got her wasn't because I love her; I do, but it wasn't the only reason."

Kaylee looked questioningly at him. Simon sighed.

"I went and rescued her because I love, and because I couldn't live with knowing that she was in danger, and knowing I had done nothing to help. _I couldn't live with it._" He looked at Kaylee, the pained expression on his face willing her to understand. She continued to look confused. Simon buried his face in his hands before continuing.

"I went to her because I was terrified of having to live with myself if I didn't. And River… River says she promised this girl she'd come back. And now she has to live with the fact that she forgot for so long… I never let myself do that because I was scared to. It must be tearing her apart. And now I always have this thought in the back of my mind. Am I doing these things out of love? Or because I'm just too cowardly to face myself? I wonder if there really is such a thing as doing something for love. Because in the end it seems to boil down to selfishness."

"That's a mighty depressing thought," Kaylee said slowly, taking his hand.

"It's my understanding that this feeling... is a part of love. One of the guidelines it puts in place to stop us forgetting what we feel. Now I may be just a mechanic," Simon looked up and began to protest, but Kaylee silenced him with a look, "but I've given a lot of thought to it over the years. I think… I think it was love you went for all along. Because you love her, you couldn't stand the idea of ingnorin' her. That 'selfishness' stemmed from love. So… I'm supposin' it was still a pure intention because your love for River… well, it was still the driving force." She broke of as she caught Simon's eye. He was smiling at her, and he began to laugh and shake his head.

"You are amazing," he said to her, "Thankyou. I don't know how you do it, but you always seem to know just what to say." He squeezed her hand and left the room. Kaylee waved, and sighed.

"Just lucky I guess," she muttered, but the rotating core of Serenity was all that heard her.

Simon made his way through the ship, dragging his legs tiredly as he went. He kept playing Kaylee's words over in his mind, making sure he had them on hand if ever he needed to reassure his sister. He was jerked out of his reverie as screams met his ears. Simon quickened his pace.

"What's going on?" Simon asked as Zoe and Jayne came rushing down the stairs.

"River-" Zoe began, but Jayne talked over her.

"Your sister's dishin' up another gobful of crazy talk," he said unconcernedly, lumbering past. Zoe looked apologetically at Simon as she followed Jayne. Simon began to run, spilling out into the kitchen in his haste. River was backing away, yelling and hurling anything she could get her hands on. Shepherd Book was attempting to calm her down, ducking her missiles. Simon saw him flinch as a particularly green banana struck him on the shoulder.

"River, it's alright," Book was saying, but River wasn't even listening.

"They took the music away! The language, the heart… you had no right, it was scarred but not broken, never broken! You… why!?Ni ta ma de. Tianxia suoyoude ren. Dou gaisi! You brought the curse down and the silence will ensue! Will endure! Silence! An eternity of nothingness and rocks that fall… there will only be ripples in the thickened air! Breath will come but only hard; because you crushed out hearts and lungs and all we can do is heave! Cause and effect… action reaction and this is what you did! Ta ma de! Nimen de bizui!" River had backed herself into a corner and was rocking, back and forth, continuing to mutter hysterically. She had ran out of potential missiles but clawed at a chair in the corner in desperation. Book and Simon exchanged concerned glances, Simon feeling at a loss for what to do. He carefully approached River, arms outstretched and palms open, as one would approach a spooked dog. River shied away.

"No! I will not be drawn in by the shiny shell and allow you to take my voice! I will find my legs without your help, I will find it!"

"River…" Simon said helplessly, "Baby talk to me, please."

"Tyen-sah duh uh-muo won't leave us alone," River sobbed. Her hands slowed in their attempt to destroy the chair and Simon reached for them. River did not withdraw. Book knelt beside Simon.

"Would you like any help?"

"Liou-coe shway duh bioa-tze hun hoe-tze duh bun ur-tze!" River yelled at him before Simon could answer.

"I'll take that as a no," Book rose and grasped Simons shoulder. Simon nodded his thanks. He pulled River to him, stroking her hair and whispering comfortingly to her. She began to cry heavily into his shoulder, occasionally yelling curses into the air before breaking down again. Unknown to either of the siblings, Mal stood watching in the doorway. He sighed, rubbing his eyes and turned away. Mal quietly picked up an internal phone, bracing himself for what he was about to say.

"Wash?"

"Yeah captain?"

"Set a course for Osiris," Mal told him, "west side, southern hemisphere. Let me know when you're close."

"You sure, capt?"

"No," Mal said, and hung up.


	4. Chapter 4

Shaking fingers ran themselves along the clips before flicking them open

_Both girls had been sitting together, hardly aware of the others who wandered around them. The communal area was full of noise; stemming from children's mutters and the screen in the corner 'entertaining' the inhabitants. The room was dark save for the blue glow emulating from it. River was sitting on a small table, the elevation enabling her to see the screen clearly even though she was hardly paying attention. Madeline had her head resting on River's shoulder, her even breathing sounds told River that she was asleep. River put her arm protectively around the young girl's shoulder. Madeline stirred but continued to rest contentedly. The room was hardly disturbed as three figures entered, standing in the doorway and speaking in hushed tones. River continued to stare at the screen. None of the other children reacted either. It was as though in their eyes the room had been unchanged. One of the men called two more figures into the room and pointed at River's back._

"_Just the older one," he muttered. The two nodded and moved toward River, stepping over various children as they went. River was not aware of their presence until a hand grasped her shoulder and began to pull her away from Madeline. Madeline woke up and found herself moving away from River. She began to cry and reached out for her older sister. River was fighting off her captor and grabbed her hand, holding on with all her strength. With one fluid movement she pulled Madeline to her, breaking the nurse's grip. The nurse fell backward. Her partner called for backup._

_More pairs of hands pulled at River, and she felt Madeline begin to cry louder. Her legs were wrapped around River's waist, making it hard for the nurses to disentangle her. The two men who had stood in the doorway now moved, carefully placing their briefcases down as they moved in unison toward the girls. One man locked his hands around Rivers waist, the other around Madeline's. River saw blue hands in the mediocre light. With astounding strength the men pulled the two girls, yelling and crying, from one another. River was hauled to her feet by the nurses and dragged backwards out of the room. Madeline was still struggling, her arms outstretched and her face shining with tears as she called desperately for River._

"_Mei-mei! Mei-mei!" River called back, beginning to cry herself now. "Ai-yah, tyen ah, Mei-mei!"_

_One of the nurses ran over to River, pulling out her arm and injecting her with something. She immediately became silent and her body relaxed. A doctor lifted her onto a gurney and pushed it out of the room._

"_Quiet now, bao-bay," the nurse whispered to Madeline, "she'll be back soon, it'll be fine." _

"_No!" Madeline yelled, lashing out at the nurse. She ran toward the door and fell heavily against it, pounding it with her fists and tearfully calling for River. The men with blue hands picked up their suitcases, and watched as the nurse, now with her lip bleeding, pulled Madeline away and settled her in a corner. She rose, exhausted, looking shaken. One of the men walked over to her._

"_They'll be fine," he said gently. "Don't forget, we are doing good work here." The other nodded his agreence. They opened the door and held it open for the nurse. Just before he closed it, one of the men took one final glance at Madeline. As if she had felt his scrutiny she looked up. The man held her gaze, and for the first time his expressionless face twitched slightly. He shut the door, and blinked a coupe of times to try to rid himself of Madeline's fierce gaze._

_Madeline had cried herself to sleep buy the time the door opened again. The noise jolted her awake; she had been waiting for it. River was led in, her steps unsteady. Madeline rose timidly. A nurse gave River some medication to swallow before leaving. Madeline approached River as soon as the door shut. River did not react to her, until Madeline tugged timidly on her sleeve. River jerked violently, her head snapping round to face Madeline, and Madeline saw a fresh pinprick scar on her forehead between her eyes, glistening red in the light. She whimpered as River's eyes bored into hers._

"_Storyteller?" She sobbed quietly. River blinked and turned away, walking slightly lopsidedly down the hallway to a side room. Madeline followed, feeling her eyes stinging and threatening to tear over. River curled herself on a small bed and shut her eyes. Madeline climbed in beside her. She sat looking as River's face for a long time before lying down and snuggling close to her. River's eyes opened again._

"_Mei mei?" She asked. Madeline sniffed and huddled closer. River slid her arm protectively around her shoulder._

Mal stuck his head through the sickbay doorway. Simon was busily re-organising the small room, which had still not recovered from Mal's gunshot wound. On the small bed against the wall River lay sleeping, still fully clothed. Mal watched her for a while before turning his attention to Simon.

"How's she doing?" He asked Simon. Simon turned sharply.

"Well enough," he sighed, "I don't know what set it off but… she really wore herself out."

"I can imagine she did," Mal walked over, "she was hollerin' for at least fifteen minutes before you showed up." Simon looked concernedly over at River.

"Anyways," Mal said casually, "you might want to think about getting your little prodigy there up and about within the next few days. I'm sure you'll want her ready when we hit Osiris."

Simon blinked.

"We should arrive sometime on Tuesday," Mal continued, "and I'm planning on doin' my very best to make sure you two aren't killed during our little jaunt."

"You're going to help us?" Simon said slowly, looking thoroughly confused. "Why?"

Mal rolled his eyes. "Make sure you're ready," he said, and turned out of the room.

"We're doing what!?" Jayne asked incredulously. Mal did his best to ignore him.

"Inara, I'm recommending you withhold searchin' for clients this time; we may be in need of your help, if you're willing."

"Of course," Inara said. Mal nodded his acknowledgement. Everyone was sitting around the kitchen as Mal explained. River was sitting on the arm of a couch, staring down at her toes.

"Yeah but, you do realise…" Jayne began.

"Can I ask exactly how we're going to sneak the two most wanted into a secure alliance facility?" Wash cut across him, "in fact I'd like to know how we're going to get _any _of us in!"

"Good point," Mal looked around, "anybody got any ideas?"

The kitchen was silent, with everyone looking around the room for inspiration. It was Kaylee who broke the silence first.

"Underground," She said apprehensively. Everyone looked at her.

"Care to elaborate?" Mal said

"I'd just like to point out…"

"Every city on the central planets has a really complex sewerage network," Kaylee said slowly. "Only way to manage all the… unseemly stuff. Each building is connected."

"Yes but… this is a secret facility," Zoe pointed out.

"No, she has a point," Simon leaned forward, looking closely at Kaylee. "Even if they want it off the radar, I'm guessing they'd have a lot of waste."

"Good, then." Mal stood up. "Kaylee, Jayne, if you'd like to get to work on getting' some sort of directions to these sewers, Wash, can you figure out some way of setting down Serenity where we're not likely to run into inquisitive folk. Rest of you, any way you see fit to prepare, now's the time to do it. We'll be arriving in about three days."

"So you really want to do this?" Jayne burst out. Mal turned.

"You got a complaint?"

"I'm just thinkin' out lives are colourful enough with one gorram crazy girl, and here you're wantin' to take on another?"

The room had gone silent. Wash leaned over and whispered something to Zoe, who nodded and glared at Jayne.

"He wanted the lamp, get his three wishes," River muttered. Simon hushed her.

"Everyone excludin' Jayne, I'd like you elsewhere," Mal said calmly. The room was filled with chairs scraping the floor as everyone exited the room. Simon pulled River up and guided her out.

"I liked the rubies," She said happily to Simon as they went.

Mal faced Jayne. Jayne settled himself further in his chair and put his feet up, sighing and looking carefully at Mal.

"What do you expect me to do?" Mal asked him quietly.

"Do the job, get paid," Jayne responded.

"And what? Forget that some child's sufferin' at the hands of the government?"

"It ain't out business," Jayne said vehemently.

"It is now!"

"What, so that girl says the word and we jump to get ourselves killed?"

"Do you not think I've considered the dangers?" Mal yelled. Jayne glared.

"If you do this, you can count me out," Jayne said stoutly.

"Shuh muh, tsai boo shr, do you have no sense of loyalty at all?" Mal laughed slightly.

"I do, I'm loyal to my life, and that thing they call breathing." Jayne rose and began to walk out of the room.

"You have a little brother, don't you?" Mal asked. Jayne stopped and turned.

"Gorramit Mal, you leave Matty out of this!" he waved his knife threateningly.

"How old is he?" Mal walked forward.

"Nine," Jayne said reluctantly.

"And you've been 'round River long enough to see the damage done to kids and the like at this place," Mal was now face to face with Jayne, who looked away. "So I want you to image Matthew as broken as young River. How would you feel, hearin' him spout nonsense? Sometimes goin' days without talking?" Mal stopped. Jayne was looking down at the floor, beside his shoes a small wet patch from a fallen tear.

"I wouldn't let that happen," Jayne's voice cracked. Mal nodded.

"But you're willin' to let that happen to other kids and just turn a blind eye?"

"t'ain't the same."

"That's where you're wrong," Mal grabbed the knife out of Jayne's hand. "Because it's still a life. A life that's bein' tampered with, and that life means something to someone. Like this girl means to River." Mal began to walk away.

"Don't be a fool in thinkin' your brother's life is more important than any other. Coz it ain't." he pulled himself up the stairs, saying more to himself than Jayne, "all life's equal."


	5. Chapter 5

Madeline hardly left her room; until the morning a nurse came and pulled her out

Madeline hardly left her room; until the morning a nurse came and pulled her out. She didn't object; didn't do anything now. She was empty. Her violin had been her one source of freedom. Over the years she had made it the outlet of everything they had repressed. Now she had nothing. She became nothing.

The nurse sat her down in a soft chair and tried to feed her some medication. Madeline moved her head away, trying to avoid it, protesting in nothing but monosyllabic sounds. The nurse sighed. The door banged open; she looked up. Three men entered. The nurse frowned confusedly. One of the men marched up to her.

"Out," he said curtly. The nurse glared, but obeyed. A doctor followed behind, red and flustered and attempting to explain.

"Nothing's changed! She's still the same, refusing treatment and non-responsive." The men ignored him but for blue hands tightening around a briefcase handle.

"Why have you come back? Surely they told you that outside contact with our subjects is detrimental?"

"Of course they told us," one man hissed. The other glanced at him, warning against his anger.

"Then why-"

"Please leave us," The men said together. The doctor swallowed his words as they looked at him. He managed to nod.

The men turned their attention back onto Madeline, walking around the chair so as to see her clearly. One of the men braced himself to hold his face straight, remembering with chilling clarity the fear he had felt last time his eyes had locked with the small hazel ones before him. However as his partner gently called the girl's name and she looked up, he saw a hollowness behind her eyes that unsettles him even more than the fierce hatred that had been burning their before.

"Madeline can you hear me?" the man asked concernedly. Madeline turned away. The man slid his turquoise had around her wrist to check her pulse. She did not react. He pulled her face around to examine the scar between the eyes. Madeline moaned once, and as he released her she allowed her head to fall limply onto her shoulder, causing her whole body to tilt into the chairs arm. The man exhaled harshly through his nostrils.

"I think we need to have a word with the doctor," he said meaningfully to his partner. They nodded at each other and moved slowly toward the door. Madeline did not react as it closed with a loud bang.

"How are the preparations going?" Mal strode into the bridge and leaned over the controls. Wash indicated a small screen.

"I've found a small docking station that's both close to an opening to the sewerage systems," Wash said happily, "and that we aren't likely to get too many questions." He swung his seat round to face Mal.

"All we gotta do is pretend we're docking for repairs."

"Not that we'll have to pretend much," Zoe said. Mal glared at her.

"She's still runnin', that's all that counts. So while they're lookin' round inside, we get ourselves all dirtied up in the sewers and come out the other end. Kaylee found us any sort of guidance yet?"

"Not sure, I think so," Wash reached f or the intercom. "Kaylee, come to the bridge, captain wants to see you."

"On my way!" Kaylee's voice came through tinny. They heard her clanking up the stairs as she went.

"I got hold of a map," Kaylee said as she came in, "but it's a little out of date."

"How out of date?" Mal asked.

"Bout… five years," Kaylee said sheepishly.

"Gos se," Mal cursed. Kaylee pushed her hair out of her face.

"But I can get a more updated one if we need," she said defensively. Mal looked at her.

"Then why didn't you just go straight to that one?" he asked incredulously. Kaylee shrugged.

"Because I only found it about a second before you called me up here." Kaylee said. Mal sighed.

"Find it."

"Manners, captain," Kaylee said indignantly. Mal rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

"Find it, please."

"Better," Kaylee flashed him a disarming smile.

"Away with you," Mal waved. Kaylee smiled and wandered back into the engine room.

Jayne sat in the kitchen, sharpening his knives. Mal walked in, eyeing them.

"I thought you weren't coming?" Mal asked. Jayne spat on his blade and wiped it clean on his sleeve.

"Changed my mind," he said abruptly. Mal nodded, deciding not to push the issue. He continued through the kitchen to find Simon and River in the infirmary. River saw him enter; she leapt off the side bed and hugged him. Mal stepped back, surprised. He pulled River's arms apprehensively off his waist.

"Nice to see you too, kid," he said slowly. Simon was staring at them, his mouth slightly open. He didn't seem to notice when a packet of gauze fell from his hand. River looked up at Mal and smiled.

"Thankyou," She said. Mal shifted nervously, pushing past her to Simon, who had now noticed the lack of supplies in his hand and had bent to pick them up.

"You got something of the first aid variety ready to go?" Mal asked him. Simon nodded.

"I'm pretty much set, for everything from gunshot wounds to… well, wounds," Simon said. Mal nodded.

"Excellent," he lowered his voice, glancing to where River had resumed sitting on the ledge.

"And how's she farin' with all this?" Mal asked. Simon looked over.

"Well, it may be causing her to be more 'crazy' than normal, from what I just saw," he said. Mal laughed.

"Very funny doc, but I'm talkin' in all seriousness here. We're gonna need her to guide us when and if we make it in."

"She seems to be very happy about it," Simon said, "and I think it's helping her to have something to focus on. But I'm honestly not sure how long that will last when we get in. she may… become overwhelmed."

"But you think you'll be able to navigate if that happens?" Mal asked. Simon nodded. Mal patted his shoulder.

"Good. We're arriving tomorrow, so make sure you're ready." He turned. River ran to hug him again. Mal was ready for it this time. He looked down and stroked her hair lightly.

"You'll be fine, kid," he said softly. River smiled and let go. Mal made his way up the stairs, smiling as he heard River talk to her brother.

"We're going through the looking glass!"


	6. Chapter 6

It was the lack of pressure that alerted her

_It was the lack of pressure that alerted her. River lifted her head, finding her eyes unusually hard to open. In the meagre light she saw just one thing._

_Madeline was gone._

_River jumped to her feet; the world spun and she collapsed on the floor. Her eyes flickered, she tried to speak._

"_Ma…dm..mm…"_

_Her head ached; River realised they must have drugged her before Taking Madeline. She scrambled up, only to fall again and become tangled in her own legs. River lay there, waiting for her head to stop pounding and the rush of her ears to cease. Finally she gripped the bed and pulled herself up, testing her legs. Hugging the wall, she took her first ungainly steps out of the room._

_River's head was still spinning as she made her way to door to the communal area. She leant against it as her legs gave way. She banged her fist feebly at the door._

"_Ma…. Mei. Mani!" she squeezed her eyes shut and tried again._

"_Gnamei!" she hit the door again. Her eyes flickered; she tried to fight the blanket of exhaustion threatening to engulf her. But the drug was too strong. River fell into a foggy numbness as her system succumbed to the poison in her body._

_She was surprised when she woke up and saw with comparable clarity. The room was full of children now, and River assumed it must be some time in the morning. She was still feeling groggy but nothing like she was before. She closed her eyes and attempted to speak._

"_Maddy..." the word formed well enough, but her speech was a little slurred. River pulled herself up and began to pound on the door._

"_Maddy! Mei-mei! Lao-tyen, boo! Bring her back!" Her voice rasped, it was the most she had spoken at such a volume for a long time. River hit at it again and again, calling for Madeline's return. Her knuckles were bleeding by the time a nurse pulled the door open. Madeline was sitting in a wheelchair, hunched over and crying shakily._

"_Kao!" the nurse cried when she saw River. River ignored her and pulled Madeline out of the chair and cradled her in her arms. The nurse jumped and tried to take her back, but River's glare kept her away. Madeline's eyes were half open, her face was full of light tear tracks._

"_River?" she asked. River sat down in a corner and rocked her slowly, kissing her forehead._

"_I'm here, Mei-mei," River whispered. _

"_They made me see things…" Madeline's crying intensified._

"_Shh…" River hugged her tighter, "go to sleep." Madeline's eyes began to close. River stroked her hair and began to sing an old lullaby softly to her._

"_O baby mine, close your eyes_

_And I will sing to you_

_Dream of stars and summer days_

_O baby mine, the day is new_

_O baby mine, I love you so,_

_You are the keeper of my heart_

_I promise you that we will stay_

_O baby mine, never apart._

_If you have any fear_

_Let it go, I'll keep you safe_

_O baby mine, come to me,_

_O baby mine."_

_River looked up to see all the children in the room staring at her. She looked down as Madeline, who was now sleeping fitfully in her arms. The scar between her eyes was still bleeding slightly. Trying to avoid the looking at the other children; who she could feel were still watching her from the way her neck prickled, River lifted Madeline and began to walk into their room. She only slipped a couple of times from the after affects of the drug. She settled Madeline onto the bed and, ignoring the wounds on her hands, sat silently watching over her. Her hands slid absentmindedly to a spot on her neck that stung. From that day onward she learned to sleep with her eyes open. _

Serenity touched down at the South Maibel docks at three am. Osiris was a maze of lights. Mal's hair ruffled; a strong breeze was forced down from ships passing overhead.

"Okay campers!" Mal turned to face his crew, rubbing his hands together, "let's get this done! Kaylee contact the most jing-tzahng mei yong duh repair crew you can find; we don't need this done in a hurry. Meet us back here in ten. Rest of you, get your gear together. We're going on a bear hunt."

Mal strode back through Serenity's open hatch. Wash drove the quad bike down.

"Getting' the protective wear?" Mal asked. Zoe straddled the bike behind her husband.

"Be back soon, sir," She said. Wash waved. Mal looked around the ship and sighed.

"She hears you," A small voice said. Mal turned. River was walking along, running her fingers over Serenity's hull.

"Really?" Mal asked. "She… saying anything back?"

"She's humming," River closed her eyes, "she hums for you… she thinks you hand out the slipper to easily, but she loves you for it. She wishes you well."

Mal nodded, "she's a good boat. Just a little serenity in the air." He strode over and took River by the shoulder.

"You get along now, kiddo. Go boss your brother 'round 'til he gets his act together." River smiled and wandered off. Mal looked around Serenity and brushed the cool metal himself.

"You're a good boat," he muttered, "take care o' yourself, don't let those hwun dan contractors loot nothin' from you." Mal walked around the cargo hold. He kicked the lid off the crate and began loading his guns.


	7. Chapter 7

The grate screeched horribly as Kaylee turned it

The grate screeched horribly as Kaylee turned it. Mal wrinkled his nose and covered his ears.

"Clearly it ain't used to visitors," He muttered. River was leaning over it eagerly, only restrained from falling by her brother. Kaylee lifted the hatch, and a putrid smell rose into the air. Mal stepped back.

"Wash, protective gear!" he yelled while covering his nose. Wash ran forward with raincoats and gas masks.

"Da-shiang bao-tza shr duh lah doo-tze!" He exclaimed as he approached, gasping at the smell. He pulled on a mask and spluttered with relief. The crew followed his lead, pulling on the bright yellow raincoats as well. Mal bent down and gripped the first rung of a ladder.

"Hope you're ready, people," He said happily. Jayne swore behind his mask. River pulled away from Simon and followed Mal as he descended the ladder. The rest followed.

Mal landed with a small splash in the underground network. His breathing sounded heavily in his ears through the confinement of the mask. He stood in a large pipe that was lit by eerily green lights. A trickle of water flowed around his feet; Mal tried hard no to think of it as anything else. A loud Bang sounded overhead as Kaylee shut the hatch behind him. Mal turned and helped River down the final large step. Simon was clinging to the ladder above her, trying not to look down.

"Move it along, Doc," Mal called.

River began to wander around the pipe.

"Don't go getting too far!" Mal yelled at her.

The rest of the crew organised themselves, passing down supplies to those already on the ground. Mal handed Simon a gun.

"Careful with that," he said seriously. Inara loaded hers. Mal eyed her strangely.

"Nice to see someone this respectable doesn't have a problem with sewers," He said. Inara rolled her eyes at him. River slowly grasped a gun and cocked it. Simon began to caution her but River silenced him with a glance. He sighed reluctantly. Mal slid his gun into its holster.

"Are we good to go?" he asked. Various affirmative noises met his ears.

"Right then," Mal pulled out the map Kaylee had given him and started off down the pipe.

They had been walking for over an hour. They had wound their way through twists and turns that all looked the same. Mal had called Kaylee over three times when he lost hid direction.

"Turn here, captain!" Kaylee called as they reached a fork Mal spun round.

"I knew that," he said defensively. Kaylee nodded. Mal rounded the corner and looked to the side wall.

"It's here," he called. The others followed. A round tube led off the main one, protected by an iron grate. Small footholds could be seen inside it.

"Kaylee!" Mal called. Kaylee hurried forward with large bolt cutters. Mal watched as she bent down and clamped them around the metal.

"Those gonna work?" he asked.

"Hopefully," Kaylee said brightly. Mal sighed. Kaylee wrinkled her nose and squeezed the cutters. With a loud noise of protest the metal split. Kaylee sighed.

"See? All shiny, captain," she said happily.

"Just get it done," Mal said. Kaylee pouted.

"Yessir."

Simon watched the progress apprehensively. River looked over at him.

"Ni cho lyen yo may yo?" She asked. Simon forced a smile.

"No, baby, it's fine." He said. River raised her eyebrows at him. Simon laughed and put his arm around her. The grate complained as Kaylee leant against it, bending it back into the tube. She straightened up and rubbed her hands. Mal patted her shoulder.

"Good job," he said. "Alright Zoe, you go first. Shepherd and Inara, you follow. Wash and Kaylee, I'm gonna need you two to take this crate up. Doc, you and your sister follow them. I'll bring up the rear with Jayne. Go with boo yao ming duh soo doo, I'm wanting to get in and out as quick as possible. We don't know where we'll be comin' up, so when you stick your head out be extra cautious." Zoe nodded and began to climb into the tube. Wash and Kaylee lifted the crate. River smiled.

"The door gets smaller the more you go through it," she said as she followed. Mal gripped the side of the tube and climbed in.

"Too right, he muttered.

A seal depressurized with a small hiss. The metal lid clattered to the floor as Zoe climbed out. She landed on her knee and drew her gun, looking around. They were in a large linen closet; dirty sheets were overflowing in their baskets. Zoe signalled the others and they all clambered forward. Mal straightened up and pulled off his coat and mask. Kaylee set the lid back on the tube. Mal turned and relayed his plan.

"Right, this is our base. Shepherd, Kaylee, you guys are going to stay out here and hold this area. The rest of you, I want you to follow the Doc, River and I and break off at intervals to hold the ground. When we come back, you're going to need to be ready to move quick as you can. I don't want the feds to be in a position to be shootin' at us. We know this place is heavily protected, so you're likely to get into a spot of gunfire. Don't use grenades unless you have to," he looked pointedly at Jayne, "and if you're going to, make sure you warn any o' the crew before throwin'. Kaylee, can you hand out the com sets? We're movin' as soon as possible." Kaylee passed around headsets. River reached for one but Mal took it from her.

"You're with me, you won't need one." He said. Simon looked over and handed his back. When everyone was equipped, Mal signalled for them to move out.

They opened the door carefully, looking up and down the passage. It was clear. Kaylee and Shepherd stationed themselves on either side of the doorway as the others rushed through. Mal got to a corner and leaned against the wall. He glanced around. Three people were standing talking. Mal sighed.

"Looks like we're going to have to wait," he whispered into his microphone, but River rushed past him. Simon yelped.

"River!" he hissed. Mal swore and looked round. River snuck up behind the figures and let fly with a swinging kick to each of their heads. They fell silently. Mal raised his eyebrows. Simon ran to her and pulled her into a hug.

"Don't…do that again," He said, half angrily, half relieved. River looked at him, confused.

"We needed to get past," she said in a small voice.

"Wash, Inara, hold this corridor," Mal yelled to them. Inara rushed past to get into position. River moved forward, holding her gun casually in her hand. Mal followed and they continued through the complex.

Kaylee jumped at any sound as she stood by the door. Shepherd looked over at her and patted her shoulder.

"You'll be fine," He said. Kaylee swallowed.

"I'm just… a little out of my element," she said quietly. Shepherd was about to say something when footsteps sounded. Kaylee spun and pointed her gun as an orderly rounded the corner. He took one look at Kaylee and Shepherd before turning and running. Kaylee looked at Shepherd, searching for what to do. Shepherd looked around, but the man had already disappeared.

The orderly found the doctor and spilled out what he had seen. The doctor pushed his hair out of the face.

"what do we do?" the orderly asked.

"we need to call them," The doctor said. He was still recovering from his last encounter with the men with blue hands, but he knew that the repercussions for not informing them would be worse. He turned and dialled the phone.

Zoe and Jayne had been left behind at the last corner when the alarm sounded.

"Ai ya, women wamble," Mal muttered. River looked around nervously.

"It's not far," Simon said desperately. Mal nodded.

"Get us there fast."

The three began to run through the corridor. River was starting to mutter to herself. Mal grasped her arm and pulled her along.

"Keep it together, kid," he said. Simon stopped in front of a sealed metal door. He swore.

"There's a keypad," he said desperately, pummelling his fist against it, "I don't know…"

"12991," River yelled. Simon looked at her but punched it in. The door swung open.

"Right, you to go, I'll guard the entrance," Mal said. Simon nodded. River had already run inside.


	8. Chapter 8

It was just as she had remembered

It was just as she had remembered. River had taken a few steps into the room before she stopped, closing her eyes and fighting back the memories that threatened to consume her. She took a long, shuddering breath in and opened her eyes. Her heart was pounding and she began to feel sick. The room was dark, the hateful screen still producing glaring light as it played a fruity oaty bar advertisement. River swallowed and tried to focus.

The children's muttering was threatening to take her in. River whimpered and covered her ears, crouching. She could still hear it.

"Ta ma de! Nimen de bizui!" she yelled. They did not stop. It filled her head, blocking her sense of reason. She felt as though she was drowning in it. Before she realised it, River was muttering herself. She felt a hand on her shoulder and tried to draw away.

"River…" Simon was calling her. He pulled her hands away from her face and held them tightly in his.

"Baby, you have to focus," he said quietly. River was shaking; she tried to look at him but it was as if her eyes refused to move. She shut them tight and tried to curl into a ball, but Simon's grip was preventing her.

"No, no, River… baby don't fall into that, please," He whispered desperately. River moaned and tried to pull away.

"Mei-mei!" Simon implored her, and for the first time his words managed to penetrate the noise in Rivers head. She looked up.

"That's it... that's good, just focus," Simon helped her as her eyes locked on to his. He pulled her up and she clung to his arm. Simon stroked her hair.

"Do you remember why we're here?" Simon asked. River stared at him.

"You have to find Madeline," Simon told her River nodded and stared around. She pulled away from Simon and ran into the side room. It was empty save for an unmade Bed. River began to pull off the sheets, lifted the mattress off the frame.

"Mei-mei!" She called. Finally deciding that Madeline wasn't there she rushed back into the communal area. She was beginning to panic when she spotted an abnormal shadow in the corner. She edged close to it, then ran as she realised it who it was.

It was not the Madeline she remembered. Her light brown hair was matted, and she stared with glazed eyes. Her fragile frame was hunched on the ground. Madeline was alarmingly pale and thin. River knelt before her, enthralled. She reached out and pushed some hair out of Madeline's face. Madeline did not react.

"mei-mei," River whispered to her. Madeline's eyes moved onto her. River leaned forward and lifted her into her arms. She was incredibly light. River sat with Madeline in her arms, whispering to her. Madeline's only response was to moan slightly. Simon knelt down behind River, taking his first look at the girl his sister had cared for so much. He held out his arms, and River looked over her shoulder, and allowed Simon to lift her out of her arms. Simon stood up; River rose and took Madeline's slender hand. She was surprised when the tight fist opened at her touch, releasing a broken piece of wood with fragmented strings attached. River stared at it, feeling tears stinging her eyes as she realised what it was.

"What did they do to you?" she whispered.

"River, we have to go," Simon whispered gently. River sniffed and nodded. They turned to leave; and found their way blocked by the other children.

"Gos se," Simon swore.

The doctor gulped as the men faced him.

"I'm not sure how they got in… I called you straight away…" he said. The men merely stared at him.

"I'm sorry," the doctor said hopefully. One man sighed.

"Keep your people out of the way; we'll deal with this," he said. The doctor nodded numbly. The men left.

The doctor sighed with relief. He leaned heavily on his crutches as he hobbled off, all to glad to stay out of their way.

"River," Simon whispered to her, "what are they doing?" River shook her head, glancing worriedly at Madeline. One of the children stepped forward.

"River," he muttered. Simon glanced at her. Wide eyes stared our behind the boy, looking hopeful and terrified at the same time. They whispered to each other. The boy stared at River.

"Take us," the boy said quietly, "please…"

River looked up at Simon, who was staring at the children with utmost pity in his eyes. He turned to River, answering her unspoken question.

"We can't," he whispered, "we can only take…" his words failed. River looked back at the children before nodding. Simon did not make her relay his statement.

"I'm sorry," he said loudly to the children. Eyes immediately went back to the floor, a few pained noises rose from the back of the group. The lead boy hung his head, the pinprick scar shone on his forehead. Simon reached for River's hand around Madeline's limp form and guided her through the children. Mal was standing outside the door.

"Tyen-shiao duh, what took you so long?" he hissed. Simon looked down at River.

"We ran into a pro… a few problems," Simon said. Mal had caught sight of Madeline.

"Aiya, is she alright?" Mal asked. Simon shrugged. Mal looked disturbed but nodded.

"Right, let's go." Mal drew his gun but River screamed.

"River!" Simon yelled at her.

"Bizui!" Mal said, but River ignored him. She pulled at her hair and bent over as though she had been kicked in the stomach.

"Hands of blue! Two by two! The ringing… won't… stop!" She gasped, before rolling on the floor and crying hysterically. Mal found the young girl thrust into his arms as Simon bent down to help River. He looked at her thin face before turning away and trying not to let sympathy overwhelm him. Simon managed to pull River up; she was still breathing as though she had been winded and shaking slightly.

"Two by two… mad…dy?" She said.

"She's fine," Mal said, "now let's go!" He turned, and fell backward as a blue fist collided with his. River screamed as Madeline fell with him. She and Simon bent down; Simon helping Mal to his feet as River carefully lifted Madeline and began rocking with her, just as she used to.

"Chou ma niao," Mal exclaimed, feeling his nose. He and Simon stared at the men before him. Their hands were a brilliant blue; they each grasped a briefcase in one hand. They stared in satisfaction at the four people before him.

"Hello, River," one said.


	9. Chapter 9

River tried to ignore them, but as always their voices rang as more than just sound

River tried to ignore them, but as always their voices rang as more than just sound. They reverberated in her head; River brought her hands up over her ears and shut her eyes tight as though blocking off any access to the world around her. It didn't help. The voices pulled at her, drawing her consciousness away. Willing her to become a shell again; a hollow being left with noting but the instinct of survival at all cost.

"Can't take me…"River whispered, "can't take me out…"

It was like hooks inside her head, drawing her. A blanket of numbness was descending, but River knew she couldn't let it overtake her. She tried to think of what Simon always told her to do. _Focus…focus…_

Simon. Her brother. River held his face in her mind. The straining in her mind lessened. River pushed out with her thoughts, knocking back the numbness and the voices. _No, _she thought, _no, no, no…_

"No!" she yelled. The swirl in her mind ceased and she slowly opened her eyes and lifted her head.

Mal and Simon were attempting to fight off the two men, who were blocking their assaults almost lazily. Mal was yelling into his microphone.

"Would someone please come be gorram backup!?" He said after taking a particularly painful blow to his shoulder. Simon was knocked out by a swinging fist; he fell limply against the wall. River yelled to him. Mal looked around and swore. He pulled out his gun but it was knocked out of his hand before he could aim. The men were now smiling slightly; Mal lumbered forward, trying to retrieve his weapon, but the men kicked it out of his reach. They downed him with another blow.

The two heads turned in unison to focus on River. They picked up their briefcases; one man quietly unlatched his and reached inside.

"Set it localized, on low," his partner told him. The man nodded. He withdrew a short, slender tubular object. With seemingly no prompt it expanded, now with two thinner translucent tubes protruding from either end.

River was leaning over Simon and Mal, supporting Madeline with one arm. She was calling them, trying desperately to rouse them. The two men looked at each other; the one holding the small device advanced toward her. River did not notice, tears were sliding down her face as she looked at Simon's limp form. The device in the man's hand glowed suddenly; River went silent and turned slowly to look at him. Her face contorted and she brought her hands up to her ears again, whimpering and trying not to yell out in pain. Her nose began to bleed. Beside her, Simon and Mal remained unaffected.

The man shut the device, River's body slackened and she fell heavily on the floor. She tried to push herself back up but her arms failed. The man approached her; River saw him and shuffled over to Madeline, pushing her out of the way before a vice like grip tightened around her leg and she was pulled back. River Screamed, she kicked out with all her remaining strength.

"No! Don't take me back! Lao-tyen boo! Lao-tyen boo!" she cried. The men hauled her to her feet, gripping her arms and securing them behind her back. One man pulled out a small syringe and aimed it at her neck. River yelled and struggled, yelling for the heavens to help her. Despite her efforts she could not throw the two men off her. River felt the cold tip of the needle on her skin; she whispered one final plea and closed her eyes before it penetrated her skin.

Madeline stirred; something was pulling her back into awareness. She felt like her head had been immersed in water, her thoughts and movements were sluggish. Some noise was playing around in the muffled confines of her mind; Madeline knew the nagging sound was the reason for her sudden lucidity. She was confused, in the last few days she had heard many noises without hearing them; still able to remain in her semi-conscious state and remain hollow. It troubled her that this had brought her back to reality.

For the first time in days Madeline focussed her eyes, remembering the dream of her older sister she had seen mere moments before. She had to close them briefly; the light in the room was too much for her. Her head was clearing now; noises and sensations were becoming sharper. The sound hurt her; not in her ears but her chest. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt as though something had tightened around her chest. Madeline's eyes snapped open, she pushed herself up on her thin arms as the sounds became screams and coupled with the world around her.

It had not been a dream. She had seen her sister. She was seeing her now. But she was screaming.

Simon's temple throbbed but he ignored it. It had taken him a few seconds to realise where he was and he was not going to waste any more. Not when River was calling for help.

Unfortunately his plan and his body's current state did not mesh very well; his current physical capability was no more than making incoherent sounds and lifting his head. He cursed himself and his helplessness. Simon attempted to stand but made himself nauseous. He slumped back, breathing heavily and swallowing the bile that had built up in his throat. Simon pulled himself onto his elbows, grunting slightly with the exertion. He lifted his head and began to pull himself to River when he saw the girl; Madeline, who had been so lifeless just before. She was stretching a thin arm out towards Mal's fallen firearm. His plan forgotten, Simon watched transfixed as the tiny girl grasped the gun and curled a finger around the trigger. There was no question in his mind as to what she was aiming for.

Out of the corner of his eye the man noticed the girl raise her hands. For a moment that seemed to last an age he stared past the gun barrel into her hard eyes. Fear gripped his chest again as words sounded in his head. _This is your reward; your so-called good works have paid for themselves._ The man managed to open his mouth slightly before the girl's finger curled around the trigger.

River saw the gun fire through her closed eyes at though it had shattered her eyelids. She crouched instinctively as two lead weights hit the ground beside her. She reached around and pulled at the needle still protruding from her neck, and carefully lifted her head. Madeline was still holding the gun forward, staring at where the men's faces had be moments before. The weapon was smoking slightly. River crawled toward her; Madeline flinched at the movement and here eyes jerked onto her. River carefully wrapped her hands around Madeline's, prying the gun from her grasp and placing it lightly on the floor. She held Madeline's hands in hers and pulled her into a tight hug. Madeline's breathing steadied and she closed her eyes. Simon dragged himself over to the two girls; river met his eye as he approached. Simon looked down at Madeline, asleep again as though nothing had happened. Mal stirred.

"Did we win?" he asked sleepily. Simon looked over at the two men's bodies.

"I think so," he said tiredly. Mal pulled himself up.

"Good. Let's…. get this crazy venture over with." He walked unsteadily over and bent down, wrapping his arms around Madeline.

"I'll take her," he said in response to River's questioning look. She nodded and released her grip. Simon helped river up, checking the needle to make sure nothing had entered her system.

"She okay?" Mal asked.

"Well enough," Simon said, looking at the bruise on Mal's temple, "you need me to have a look at that?"

"It can wait," Mal started forward. River bent down to retrieve his gun.

They made their way back down the corridor. Mal held up his hand to stop them.

"What's wrong?" Simon asked.

"Zoe and Jayne," Mal replied. Simon looked round, finding the checkpoint empty.

"What could have happened to them?" he asked. Mal shook his head. He shifted Madeline to further free his hand and reached for his gun. River handed it to him.

"Thanks. Right, we go carefully from now," Mal said. They continued forward, Mal aware of any movement. The empty corridors made him uneasy; he rounded the next corner finding Wash and Inara missing as well. Noises were coming from further down.

"Stay with me," Mal said and moved forward. He stuck his head around. A group of five marines were aiming at the laundry room door. The front one was yelling.

"…hands up. I repeat, come out with you hands up!" Mal looked over his shoulder at River.

"Think you can take five?" he asked. River nodded.

"What? Wait- no…" Simon began, but River had already scaled the wall. Simon swore.

"What are you doing? If she gets hurt…"

"She won't," Mal said shortly. Simon gaped at him.

"How do you-"

A loud crash sounded. Simon stuck his head around the corner. All five guards were lying flat on the ground, snoring. River climbed over them. Mal looked pointedly at Simon.

"See? Nothing ventured, nothing gained." Simon glared and ran to River. Mal knocked on the laundry door.

"Open up, it's us!" he yelled. The door swung open.

"Captain," Zoe greeted him. Mal lumbered into the room.

"What happened to you?" Kaylee asked worriedly.

"It's not important," Mal said, "are we ready to go?"

"Almost," Zoe said.

"Alright, get in the tubes and don't look back." Mal said, "We've done the job. Now we just gotta survive it."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N** hey guys put up a bit of history on Madeline in a seperate document; you don't have to read it but it makes her a bit more whole :) anyway enjoy

The fresh air of Osiris' shipyards came as a blessing; polluted as it was. Mal took a lungful of air and sighed. He handed Madeline to wash before pulling himself out. Wash Stared down at the small girl, Zoe looking over his shoulder.

"She doesn't look good," Zoe said. Mal nodded.

"No. If you guys wouldn't mind takin' her up to serenity and settlin' her in the infirmary, I'll send the doc to you as soon as he's out."

"Come on, baby, let's get out junk bucket fired up," Zoe said. Wash and Mal glared at her.

"I mean… our ship."

Mal snorted at her and turned to pull River out of the sewer.

"Hurry up doc, you've got a patient waiting for you!" he called down. River was looking worriedly after Wash and Zoe.

"You run along if you want, gal, I'll take care o' your brother." Mal said to her. She flashed him a half smile before running to join them. Mal waited. Simon's head appeared two minutes later. Mal gripped his arm and helped him out.

"You okay?" he asked cheerfully.

"Never better," Simon spluttered. Mal patted him forcefully on the back.

"That's the spirit! We'll be needin' you, think your sister's friend might be requiring some medical assistance." Simon nodded.

"Mal… I'd really like to know something." He said slowly. Mal sighed.

"Why did you agree to help us?" Simon pressed. Mal faced him.

"You're on my crew. That's all you'll ever need to know," He said seriously. "Now let's get back to the boat. They'll be waiting for us."

River hovered anxiously as Simon check Madeline for injuries. Most of the crew stood outside the infirmary, waiting for the verdict. Simon took a small amount of blood for testing and turned to them all.

"She's fine… At least physically. I don't know when she'll wake up or what she'll be like. I'll watch her closely though."

"She's awful pretty," Kaylee was standing in the doorway, "but so thin… are you sure she's okay?"

"As sure as I can be until I get this back," Simon waved the blood slightly, "but if she has been damaged the same as River," he looked apologetically at his sister, "then we can be quite sure she's not okay." Kaylee looked worried.

"'t ain't right," she whispered. Jayne held his stony silence.

"no, it isn't," Mal agreed, "but we got her out, that's all that matters," Mal looked at River, who had taken Madeline's limp hand and was staring hard at her, as though her gaze could draw her into consciousness. Wash was looking distressed; Zoe kissed the side of his face.

"Doc said she'd be okay," she whispered comfortingly. Wash nodded.

"We should let her rest," Simon said, walking out of the infirmary, "River… if you want to stay…"

"I do," River whispered. Simon nodded.

"Be quiet then, don't wake her, just watch." River nodded.

"Do you have some spare living quarters for her when she comes around?" Simon asked Mal as they climbed the stairs out of the Cargo hold.

"How long you plannin' on having her here?" Mal asked.

Simon was stumped by the question. "um… I wasn't planning on having her not here."

"She got family?"

"I don't-"

"Don't you think they would like her back?" Mal said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Simon gaped.

"And if she doesn't?"

"If she doesn't, she can stay," Mal said simply, "what did you think I was getting at?"

Simon walked into the infirmary the next morning, looking around for River, who had refused to Leave Madeline's side. She had fallen asleep on a bench with one arm dangling over the edge. Simon smiled, running his fingers through her hair before checking on Madeline. The girl was still deathly pale. Simon frowned concernedly, rummaging in the draw for a small butterfly needle. He carefully lifted Madeline's arm in search of a vein. He had just slid the needle under her skin when the girl reacted. Her eyes snapped open and she gripped Simon's hand. Simon froze, shocked.

"its okay," he began, "I'm-"

His words were cut short as Madeline dealt him a hard kick to the stomach. Simon flew across the room. Madeline leapt to her feet, Jumping to the floor and Pinning Simon to the ground. Her eyes were wild as she pulled a gun from his belt and held it against his neck.

"Nee tzao ss-ma? Nee-yow wuh-kai chang?" she hissed, "bun tyen-shung duh ee-dway-ro!" her voice shook as she pressed the weapon harder against his neck. Simon gurgled.

"Bai-tuo, an-jing-eedyen!"

River had woken up and was glaring hard at Madeline. Madeline turned at the sound of her voice.

"Wuo dway-nee boo woon, boo jen," Madeline challenged.

"dahng ran," River responded calmly.

Madeline forgot Simon immediately. She ran as fast as she could to River and embraced her.

"Wuh de tyen, ah, I knew you'd come for me," She sobbed. River held her tightly, smiling though tears of happiness.

"always, mei-mei," she whispered. Madeline smiled. Simon pulled himself to his feet, coughing. Madeline saw him; she gripped River tightly and began to scream.

"Tyen-sah duh uh-muo! Keep back! Keep back!" She screamed. Simon halted, looking at River for help. River talked over the top of Madeline, trying to calm her.

"Hush, Mei-mei," she said soothingly, "this is Simon. Do you remember me telling you about Simon?" Madeline's wide eyes looked nervously around at Simon.

"Your brother?" She asked. River nodded. Simon continued to remain still as though afraid of spooking her. Madeleine looked away cautiously.

"Wizard?' she whispered. River smiled.

"Yes, the wizard. Remember what we always said?" Madeline smiled shakily.

"There's no place like home," she said. River hugged her.

"And now you're home."


	11. Chapter 11

Simon carefully removed the needle from Madeline's arm

Simon carefully removed the needle from Madeline's arm. The small girl refused to meet his eye, though he noticed she stole a few timid glances at his feet. River held the girl in her arms as Simon gave her the injection, cradling her the way one would an infant. Simon was amazed that the she did not even flinch as the sharp metal pierced her skin.

"Have you had many needles, Madeline?" he asked gently. Madeline did not answer him. Simon sighed. River hugged the girl and whispered to her, looking apologetically at Simon.

"It's okay," he whispered, "I understand." River smiled slightly.

A large clatter sounded on the stairs behind them. Mal jumped jovially over the last two stairs, swinging into the infirmary. Kaylee and Zoe followed.

"How's our pat-" Mal began, but Madeline screamed at her crossed the doorway, scrambling out of Rivers arms and hurling a bedpan at him. It struck him hard on the temple with a resounding clang. Kaylee gasped.

"Shiong-mung duh kwong-run! Wuh tzai chien shr ee-ding ruh dao shuh-muh run luh buh…" Mal exclaimed. Simon grimaced. River was attempting to calm Madeline, who was desperately searching for more missiles.

"Xiao mei-mei, ee-chee shung-hoo-shee…" She said, grasping Madeline's arms. Madeline was whimpering, becoming more and more agitated as the other crew members came downstairs to investigate. Kaylee let out a sympathetic noise, starting forward to help River but Madeline shied away, her crying intensified. Simon gestured for Kaylee to move back, hushing her as she began to apologise. Madeline crouched down in a corner, curling as tightly as she could.

"maybe we should just…" shepherd began.

"I think we should," Zoe agreed.

"seems to be best," Wash said nervously.

"it would be a good idea," Simon said quietly. The crew retreated speedily, save for Mal who pulled himself into a sitting position.

"she weren't this crazy when you got her out," he said angrily, indicating River, "what the tyen-shiao duh is with that kid?"

"I can't be sure," Simon attempted to respond over Madeline's panic; it had lessened now that there were less people in the room. Mal shook his head.

"River was in only in the academy for two years, captain, and since she was fourteen," Simon tried to explain, "Madeline… she's nine years old. River said she was there before her… I have no idea what the affect of the alliance's… what that would do to such a young mind."

"well you'd best start finding out, cause if she don't stop hurlin' things…" Mal carefully touched the bruise on his forehead, looking significantly at Simon and left his sentence hanging. He walked angrily out of the room. River looked worriedly over at Simon, her expression questioning.

"he didn't mean it…" Simon trailed off, trying to convince himself as well as her. He knew she saw that as she turned away. Simon bent down to help her. Madeline was talking non stop, her eyes wide with fear as her hands jerked in every direction.

"joo ah, nee ming jee dao wuh shr bang nee tzwo shr, yo huh bee jao wuh fan muh?" she said desperately, "juhguh jee hua jun kuhpah! I ask you, stop! The digging in, the scratching… make it stop! Guide their path away from mine! I cannot… cannot… no! no, don't crowd, don't crowd, your grip burns! Please…please…please…"

River gripped her hand, holding it tightly. Madeline looked at her, shaking.

"it won't stop," she sobbed brokenly, "won't ever stop…"

A small noise sounded from the doorway, Simon and River turned. Kaylee was standing watching them. River and Simon exchanged glances. River looked away, continuing to comfort Madeline. Simon rose and turned to Kaylee, leading her out of the room.

"are you okay?" he asked her. Kaylee was looking over his shoulder, her brow furrowed in concern.

"I was just… worried…" she said quietly, "the poor girl… it ain't right." Kaylee met Simon's eyes. She was crying.

"kids should be kids… should be playin', getting' dirty and mischief…"she said. Simon hugged her.

"she'll be okay," he said, "we'll help her. If you'd like…" he pulled back looking at Kaylee, "when we calm her down a bit, you can help look after her?"

Kaylee nodded, and sniffed. Simon smiled.

"okay… good. I should…"

"yeah, you… I'll wait," Kaylee wiped her eyes. Simon smiled at her.

"Simon?" Kaylee called him back.

"mm?"

"were there… were there other kids in there?" she asked. Simon sighed.

"yeah."

"what'll happen to them?" She asked. Simon mouthed for a moment.

"well… I'm not…" he said slowly, "I left the door open, when we got Madeline out. I don't know if it did much good. But… I gave them the chance. I don't think many of them were in any state to take it."

Kaylee nodded. "well, you tired. That's something."

Simon smiled slightly before turning away.

The doctor leant on his crutch, looking along the corridors. He shook his head angrily. Through the disarray that met his eyes, the doctor had managed to convince himself that he could have done a better job at controlling the situation. Why should he have handed it over to those government goons? Look at the mess they had left behind? And a subject was missing! The doctor growled sullenly to himself. He kicked out at a fallen box of medication as he rounded the corner.

He was met by thirty dark eyed children. He froze. The children stared at him, the scars on their foreheads gleamed. The doctor gaped, taking a step back. one of the children, a small boy, advanced on him.

"uh…" the doctor began.

"Zhu yi!" the boy barked at him. The doctor jerked, looking scared. The other children closed in behind the boy; before the doctor realised what had happened he was closed in a tight circle.

"Qing!" the boy yelled. The doctor was not able to say anything before the children charged.

Simon walked back into the infirmary, scanning the room for River. He found her, still crouched in the corner with Madeline, who was sleeping fitfully in her arms. Simon crouched down.

"hey, you okay?" he asked River. She nodded.

"bit tired," she muttered. Simon bit his lip thoughtfully.

"do you… can you get up?" River shook her head.

"do you think she'd mind if I lifted her up?" Simon said, indicating Madeline.

"I don't know."

"Should we try? You have to rest too," Simon said pointedly. River sighed, but nodded. Simon carefully slid his hands under Madeline's shoulders; she moaned slightly but continued sleeping. Simon held her against his chest, freeing one of his arms to help River up. She rose stiffly

"you'll look after her?' River asked. Simon smiled.

"of course." River smiled too.

"I know I didn't need to ask… I'm just…"

"it's okay, mei-mei, I understand," Simon touched her cheek, "I feel the same about you. I always want to know you're okay."

"I am… I think."

Simon laughed. River smiled wider, looking away embarrassed.

"Go, it's past your bedtime," Simon said jokingly. River wrinkled her nose at him and stuck out her tongue.

"you are such a brat," Simon laughed. River widened her eyes innocently before walking fluidly out of the room. Simon shook his head, chucking. He carefully lowered Madeline onto the bed and pulled a sheet over her. Madeline stirred; she huddle tighter in the sheets before stilling contentedly. Simon smiled, sympathy burning in his chest. It turned to anger as he thought of the people who had done this to River, and the small girl before him. He strode over to the bench, clenching his fist and bringing it down hard on the surface. A small noise brought him to his senses. Madeline was sitting bolt upright, looking scared. Simon cursed his idiocy, running to her. She was trembling, and began to mutter as her hands slid over her ears.

"Madeline?" Simon spoke softly to her. Madeline looked over to him, and to Simon's surprise she lowered her hands and reached for him.

"wizard," she whispered pleadingly. Simon reached down and lifted her into his arms, bemused. He made a mental note to ask River why she called him that.

"I'm here," He whispered. Madeline leant her head on his shoulder.

"dreaming… so much, no room," Madeline said, becoming agitated, "the walls closed in, I was in them… no sun, no worlds, no one… absolute nothingness and I fell from the edge…"

"shhhh, you're safe, you're safe now," Simon soothed her. Her breath on his neck told him she was crying. Simon rubbed circles in her back, attempting to calm her. He walked in circles. He cast his mind back to everything River had told him, searching for a way to connect with her.

"do you want me to tell you a story?" he asked. Madeline sniffed.

"uh-huh."

"okay…" Simon said, "just let me think of one." He turned again, and bit back his surprise when he noticed Kaylee in the doorway. She looked scared and started back apologetically, But Simon gestured her in.

"you know I'm not a very good storyteller," he said to Madeline as he went, "but I know someone who is."

Kaylee approached cautiously. Simon cast her a reassuring look.

"Madeline, I'd like to introduce you to someone," he said, "look to the side. See? That's Kaylee. Kaylee's very good at telling stories." Madeline looked out between her arm. Simon gestured with his head for her to come closer.

"hi," Kaylee said quietly, moving forward. Madeline shied away. Kaylee looked disheartened. Simon signalled her to wait.

"It's okay, Kaylee won't hurt you. Maybe she could tell us as story, if we ask nicely," he looked up, "Kaylee, would you please tell us a story?"

"sure" Kaylee said. Simon carefully sat down with Madeline on the edge of the bed.

"once upon a time…" Kaylee began.

Kaylee gestured emphatically as she recited a story about a princess locked in a tower. Madeline watched her through the gap in Simon's arm, half curious and half cautious. She was enthralled in the story. Simon looked down, noting how calm her breathing was. He smiled encouragingly at Kaylee, who smiled back around mouthfuls about the prince who came to the rescue. She tiredly finished with the happy ending. Madeline's eyes were brighter, and she did not protest as Kaylee sat beside them.

"And that's the story," She said wearily. Madeline continued to watch her.

"you did a good job," Simon told her. Kaylee smiled.

"Hope she liked it," she said. Simon looked down at Madeline.

"I think she did," he smiled, "see?"

Kaylee gazed at the small girl, who was holding Simon's arm and watching her with wide eyes. Kaylee smiled at her, she reached out for Madeline's hand, and when she didn't flinch away, she squeezed it slightly.

"hey," she whispered. Madeline leant closer to Simon.

"it's a start," Simon said quietly, wrapping his arms tighter around Madeline. Kaylee nodded.

"I bet River will be happy to hear 'bout it," she said.

"I'm sure. I'm going to try and get her to sleep again," Simon said.

"okay, I'll… see you soon," Kaylee got up and left. Madeline followed her with her eyes.

"you like Kaylee?" Simon asked her. Madeline nodded slightly. Simon lay her back down and tucked her in.

"yeah… me too."


	12. Chapter 12

The beam of a lamp was the only thing that illuminated the papers strewn across the desk

The beam of a lamp was the only thing that illuminated the papers strewn across the desk. The man worked without any indication that he recognised his surroundings. His pen moved back and forth across a page, hardly breaking in its rhythm aside from the occasional full stop. The phone rang, breaking the almost complete silence. The man picked up the receiver and held it loosely to his mouth.

"Yes?"

"Sir," the distorted voice sounded through the phone, "the children are loose. We've counted one casualty. We assume it's a result of the prior break in. We have them surrounded but they're not letting us through. They're demanding to be released."

The man sighed. "Who broke in?"

"We're not sure, but think it was River Tam, with some supporters. Sir, the children may have already killed one of our men, and we can't get in without risking them escaping. We've got explosives around the place. We just need an order from you."

"Do we know which children have taken hold of the facility?" the man asked.

"Sir?"

"Is there a child called Madeline, Madeline Brooke?" the man dropped pretence. He waited as sounds of shuffling papers filtered through the phone line.

"No sir," the voice returned, "she was taken by the Tams."

The man sighed. "Oh well. Do what you must, colonel, but try not to resort to blowing the place. These children are important experiments. I want as little casualties as possible."

"Yes sir."

The man replaced the phone, only to pick it up again a moment later.

"You've got the records department," a clerk said.

"Matthews, this is Brooke," the man said, "I understand we've been keeping tabs on the so-called 'shepherd' book?"

"Yep, we got a couple of hits on him too."

"I understand he was sighted on a firefly vessel suspected of harbouring the Tams," The man continued.

"That's correct, class code 03-K64. You want the data on it?"

"Please."

"Okay, I'll put it through now. Pleasure doing business with you."

The man pursed his lips at the clerk's impudence, but made no comment. He scanned the information that had appeared on a screen. The man dropped his pen, pushing a few buttons. He smiled.

"You should have stayed where I could watch you, Maddy," he whispered, "but dad's coming to bring you home."

River stepped tiredly into the infirmary, rubbing her eyes and attempting to make them adjust to the new light quicker. She smiled. Simon was attempting to entertain Madeline with a glove that had eyes and a mouth drawn onto it. He was pretending to make it talk. His antics drew the occasional smile from Madeline, who was sitting on a side bench with her knees at her chest and a blanket pulled up to her chin.

Madeline spotted River and immediately held out her arms, reaching for her. River walked over and lifted her into her arms. Madeline rested her head contentedly against her shoulder. Simon quietly pulled his glove off, falling tiredly into a chair. River sat Madeline back on the side ledge. She reached into her pocket and brought out the fragmented piece of wood that had fallen from Madeline's hand. Madeline stared. She slowly reached out, curling her fist around it as she lifted it from River's hand. Madeline gripped it brought it up to her chest. River reached for Madeline's hand, and the girl released the fragment back to her. River carefully pulled out a fine chain. Madeline watched silently as River knotted the ends of severed fibres and threaded the wood onto the chain. She reached over Madeline's neck and clasped the chain around it. Madeline looked down, fingering the smooth wood.

"Now you won't lose it," River said quietly. Madeline sat staring at the broken bow.

"sheh-sheh," she said quietly.

"Tzoo-foo nee, mei-mei," River lifted up again. Madeline leaned automatically onto her shoulder.

"I know you're scared," River whispered to her, "I know… it's hard to understand. But you don't have to. I'm here… I'm right here with you always," River put her hand over Madeline's heart. Madeline hugged her tighter.

River smiled sadly. "Come on mei-mei, I'll show you your new home." She carried Madeline out of the room. Simon rose to follow them, grabbing his medic pack in case Madeline should react badly to one of the crew.

River stepped lightly out of the infirmary, Madeline still in her arms. She hid her head as River took her out of the infirmary, gripping her tighter in uncertainty. Kaylee rounded the corner, humming. She stopped when she saw them. River smiled at her and whispered something to Madeline.

"Maddy… I want you to meet Kaylee."

Madeline lifted her head and smiled. She kept her head against River's shoulder but reached out a hand for Kaylee. River looked surprised as Kaylee came over and took her hand.

"We… talked some," Kaylee said by way of explanation. River nodded, smiling.

"Jeing tzai," she said. Kaylee looked pleased, and smiled down at Madeline.

"Hey, boa-bay," she said, "nice to see you out and about," Madeline just smiled, leaning closer to River for security at Kaylee's voice but not breaking eye contact. Kaylee straightened up.

"I gotta go check the engines, capt'n says she ain't running smooth 'nough," She sighed, "hope she's okay," she said to River. River smiled at her friend.

"Sheh-sheh."

River carried Madeline up to the Kitchen. The girl gazed out wonderingly, drinking in her surroundings. River hefted her up more, resting her on her hip.

"You hungry, Mei-Mei?" she asked. Madeline nodded. River sat her on the bench and rummaged in the cupboards. She brought her knees up to her chest protectively. River brought a bowl and food down, putting it on the table before carrying Madeline over. Madeline huddled herself into the chair River had placed her in. She sniffed suspiciously at the bowl in front of her.

"What she doin' that for?" Jayne came clunking down the stairs Madeline whimpered and hid her head. River Ran over to her and embraced her.

"Bee-jway, neen hen boo-tee-tyeh duh nan-shung!" Inara strode through the door, glaring at Jayne.

"I was just asking?" he said angrily, as Madeline became more distressed at their presence in the room, "not my fault she's all fong luh." He walked out, muttering under his breath.

"I'm sorry," Inara said, pushing hair out of her face, "he just annoys me sometimes."

"Fahng sheen," River said to her, stroking Madeline's hair and trying to coax her to lift her head, "mei-mei, it's okay. This is Inara, she won't hurt you."

Madeline peeked out and grasped River's hands as she pulled them down.

"Ni hao, bao-bay," Inara said. Madeline flinched slightly as Inara sat down opposite her.

"Eat, mei-mei," River said, lifting Madeline onto her lap. Madeline looked away from Inara, though her eyes frequently shifted suspiciously onto her. Her hand shook as she lifted her fork.

"Why was she doing that?" Inara asked. River looked up questioningly.

"Why did she smell the food?" Inara elaborated. There was a loud clatter as Madeline dropped her fork. River grabbed a napkin and wiped some of the porridge off her clothes, hugging Madeline reassuringly.

"Checking if it was drugged," River said. "They used to drug our food, but you could smell it sometimes." Inara opened her mouth, but closed it again.

"I'll… leave you two alone," she said finally. River looked up.

"You don't have to," she said. She looked down at Madeline, who had stopped eating and was leaning contentedly against her big sister.

"I want her to be… happy around everyone," River said slowly, "you're all her family now as much as you are mine." Inara smiled.

"I'm glad we're family to you, River," she said softly. River blinked and looked away.

"I'm going to show her more of the ship," she said, Rising and lifting Madeline back into her arms, "you can come… if you would like."

"I will."

Mal pulled the door of his room shut. He sighed as the scratched metal showed his reflection; he tentatively touched the bruise on his forehead. Mal turned in time to see River and Inara round the corner, Madeline in Rivers arms.

"Ah, the maniac suffers our presence," he said sarcastically. Inara glared at him.

"You were lucky it was her not me," she hissed. River stopped in front of him.

"Mei-mei," she whispered. Madeline lifted her head.

"She didn't mean it," River said to Mal, "mei-mei, say sorry? Mal's a wizard. He has the magic carpet." Madeline peered out.

"Duibuqi," Madeline said almost inaudibly. Mal's frown dissolved.

"You're alright, nyen ching duh," he said. He bent down til he was face to face with Madeline, who stared him in the eye. Mal smiled.

"Between you and me, I had to put up with a lot worse from this one," he pointed at River and winked. Madeline's lips twitched into a small smile. River looked playfully incredulous.

"He lies," she said, wrinkling her nose at Mal. Mal tweaked her nose.

"Get along, you," he said. River hefted Madeline up and wandered up to the bridge. Inara watched them go before rounding on Mal.

"You stupid hoe-tze duh pee-goo!" she raged at him. Mal took a step back.

"What's your problem?" he asked.

"I'm never going to understand how you can be so horrible one minute and act so innocent the next!"

"Again…problem?"

"You happily badmouth that poor girl then go on to be kind and loving! How many times are you going to pull that?"

"Inara, she caught me at a bad moment, I-"

"I expect yours and their definition of a 'bad moment' is quite different!"

"So once, I let my anger get the better of me. Being hit with hard objects tends to make a man a mite tetchy!"

"Yes, well you sure-"

"Inara!" Mal cut across her, "one mistake didn't harm anyone! Let it go! Or are you respectable types not used to giving normal folk leeway?" he pushed past her, leaving Inara standing with half formed arguments pulsing in her mind.

Madeline looked curiously around the walls of Serenity, a small plastic dinosaur Wash had given her clutched in her hand. River carefully carried her down the stairs into the cargo bay, where Shepherd book and Jayne were busily working out. River took her a little out of the way so Madeline wouldn't be scared of their proximity, but to her surprise Madeline wriggled out of her arms, wanting to get down. Madeline held River's arm as she fought to stay upright; her thin legs causing her to sway slightly. River watched her, concerned, but Madeline pulled away and began walking in a somewhat ungainly way around the bay. River followed, watching her legs shake as they bore her weight. Her steps became more confident and she began to walk more steadily and faster. She looked curiously around the ship, lifting her head to look up at the roof and carefully analysing the walls. Shepherd watched her as Jayne continued to lift his weights. Madeline turned suddenly and ran back to River, but collapsed, coughing.

"Mei-mei?" River was alarmed, she ran over to Madeline. Shepherd book looked up and hurried to help. Madeline screamed as he approached, causing her to cough more.

"I'll call your brother," Shepherd hurried over to the com system. River held Madeline in her arms, trying to calm her breathing, but it wasn't working. Jayne swore under his breath, but stopped his exercising to come help. He punched open a compartment on the wall and pulled out a med kit. He passed it to River, who pulled out an oxygen mask with shaking fingers. Madeline's coughing had gotten worse. Simon came clattering down the stairs with Mal and Inara hard on his heels.

"Gwai-gwai long duh dong!" Mal said. Simon skidded as he dropped to his knees.

"She's having a respiratory crisis, likely caused by asthma," Simon said, loading a vial, "coupled with how little she's moved, it's probably-"

"For god's sakes can you just help her?" Inara yelled desperately. Simon pulled the cap off the needle with his teeth. Madeline didn't even object to the needle that penetrated her skin.

"That should help," Simon pressed a piece of gauze to her arm, "help me get her to the infirmary." Mal lifted her. Inara wrapped an arm around River's shoulders. Mal and Simon had just started up the stairs when Wash's voice sounded through the com.

"Hey guys, not to rain on your parade, but our thermos have just picked up a black ops alliance ship." Mal and Simon looked at each other.

"Oh, juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean jan…" Mal said.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N hello everyone, sorry bout the delay i've been in hosp. but at least i had time to write! bright side! anyway; also thanks to all those who reviewed it's very encourageing. **

**shall leave you to read!**

Mal and Simon made it up to the infirmary. Mal ran to the com as soon as he was free of Madeline.

"Wash!" He yelled over the girl's fits of coughing as Inara and River entered, "Take evasive action. Get us to Boros if you can, we ain't far and we just may be able to lose them in the sunrise or least see 'em clear enough to ID their ship. We may have a chance but I'm going to need you to do that fast!"

"Okay, get ready!" Wash reached up and flicked a few switches before gripping the steering hard, "Kan wuh-mun tzun muh suh bah!" he said to himself. Serenity pulled into a steep turn.

Simon crashed into the wall. Mal gripped the doorway. River leaned close to the ground, trying to combat the inertia whilst holding Madeline's hand. Her breathing had calmed more, but she was still wheezing with each breath. Jayne and Shepherd stumbled into the room. Madeline yelled as Shepherd approached her.

"No! You leave me alone!" she yelled through the oxygen mask. She was struggling to get away.

"Someone help River!" Simon yelled, attempting to open a draw. Shepherd started forward but Madeline yelled.

"go hwong tong, I'll do it!" Jayne said. Madeline didn't object to his presence. Mal cast a sideways look at Shepherd.

"Kaylee," He said, pressing down on the com button again, "I'm gonna need you to give our girl a bit of extra lovin', if you can."

"on it, captain! What's going on?"

"You get us that extra kick I won't need to tell you," Mal said. He glared meaningfully at Shepherd as he passed him. Simon took his stethoscope out of his ears.

"she's okay," he informed everyone.

"for now," Mal yelled as he exited.

Wash looked behind him as he heard Mal approach.

"bad news, captain," He said, "we got ourselves an authentic alliance stealth fleet, and they seem intent on tracking us!"

"ta ma de, any chance we can throw em?"

"not looking like there's a one," Wash said happily.

"what you all cheerful for?" Mal asked him incredulously.

"just trying to stay positive," Wash said.

"well stop it and start trying to keep us alive!" Mal yelled. The ship rocked as a large pulse swept over it.

"wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung, we're dead in the air!" Wash yelled. Mal pulled himself up.

"Chu fei wo si le!" Mal yelled.

"that's likely to happen!" Wash strained at the steering as Serenity began to roll.

"Can… you… stop… that!?" Mal yelled.

"just let me… there!" the ship jerked and righted it. A loud voice came through Serenity's speakers.

"Firefly transport Serenity, you are ordered to stand down and prepare to be boarded."

Wash and Mal looked out as a shining black ship lowered itself in front of her window.

"gos se," Wash muttered.

"yeah…" Mal said.

"What are we gonna do?" Wash asked. Mal started at the ship.

"Mal?" Wash yelled.

"I'm thinking on it!"

Wash sighed and grabbed his microphone.

"Kaylee, you got that extra juice?"

"no," Kaylee's small voice sounded small, "out reserves got knocked out. We're barely runnin'…" Wash looked up at Mal, who was frowning.

"we can't run, and there ain't no place to hide…" he mused sadly.

"Firefly transport Serenity, this is your final warning. Stand down or we will be forced to take action."

"If they get us-" Wash began.

"It won't be nearly as bad as what'll happen to River and the girl," Mal glared hard at the ship in front of him as though it would give him some inspiration.

"Captain, we've got no choice," Wash sighed. Mal bit his lip.

"There's got to be a way," he said, more to himself than Wash, "there's always a way…"

He banged his fist down on the controls. "I'll be back!"

"What are you going to do?" Wash yelled at his back.

"I don't know yet!"

Mal clattered past the infirmary, ignoring the shouted inquiries that flew from it. He pulled himself into the engine room, and grasped Kaylee's shoulders to get her attention.

"Kaylee, can you get us any movement at all?" he asked, shielding his face from sparks that flew around him. Kaylee looked at him. She was holding a jumble of broken wires in her hands. Mal sighed.

"Don't answer that. Listen, I need you to get down to the cargo hold and get me some way of locking those doors good. We're gonna have to do what they say if we don't wanna get blown out of they sky, but that don't mean I ain't putting up a fight. Can you do it for me?" Kaylee nodded numbly.

"That's my girl. You get to work." He ran back to the infirmary, raising his hands as a wave of questions hit him.

"What's going on?"

"Are we gonna run?"

"How did the gorram feds find us?"

"Jayne, Zoe!" Mal yelled over the noise, "get down to the hold and bring guns. Preacher, you come too, help 'em move some of our gear over for cover, and block the door. Little Kaylee's workin' on a way of keepin' 'em out, so try not to get in the way. Doctor, you stay here and you protect these girls! There's no way I'm lettin' those feds take 'em back, but if we fall, it's down to you." He handed the Simon a gun, and gave one to River. Simon began to protest, but Mal cut him off.

"She's a better marksman than you, you may need her." he said. Simon nodded slightly.

"Get down there, go!" Mal barked at the other three. As he left he grasped shepherd's shoulder.

"And if we happen to survive this, you and I are going to talk about why that girl don't want you near her," he whispered, "and possibly answer Jayne's question as to how they found us." He pushed past, leaving Shepherd to ponder his words.


	14. Chapter 14

Kaylee was wrist deep in the power box when Mal ran down

Kaylee was wrist deep in the power box when Mal ran down. Jayne threw Zoe guns from his store.

"how you going' there, Kaylee?" Mal asked.

"Doin' my best, Captain," Kaylee said shortly. Mal nodded. He turned to Shepherd.

"Help me get these things over, Preacher," he said. He bent down and gripped a crate. "On three!" The two managed to move it out of the corner.

"Wash is putting through our surrender now," Mal informed his crew before moving onto the next box, "so we're going to have to move fast if we want to be ready for them. Kaylee you got that locked down yet?"

"Almost."

"Good." Mal gripped another crate, catching Shepherd's eye.

"I'm trustin' that you're gonna be on our side when they come through?" he said so that only Shepherd could hear.

"Of course," Shepherd responded.

"I hope so," Mal said, "'cause I don't enjoy being made to look the fool."

"That should do it," Kaylee said. She pushed some hair out of her eyes. "Where's Simon and River?"

"In the infirmary with the girl," Mal said, "Doc knows what to do if they get past us."

"Is that likely?" Zoe asked.

"I honestly have no idea," Mal sighed.

"Very," Shepherd answered her. Zoe cast him a look. Their conversation was cut short as a loud metallic sound rang through the doors and the ship jolted.

"I think they're here," Jayne said.

Mal grabbed Kaylee and pulled her over to the stairs.

"Kaylee, you go up to Inara's shuttle," He said. "Tell her I said to take you and get away from this ship. I ain't havin' you two getting' killed on my watch."

"But captain-" Kaylee protested.

"That's an order!" Mal yelled.

"Well… well shouldn't we take Simon and the others too?"

"No, they'd shoot you down if they knew they was on board. You just get yourselves nice and out of the way."

"But what if-"

"Now, Kaylee!" Mal yelled, grabbing a gun and crouching behind the crates with Zoe. He swung the strap over his shoulder and mounted it, aiming for the door. It was glowing red and they could hear sparks flying from the other side.

"Just like old times, huh?" Mal whispered.

"Too much so, sir," Zoe said, without shifting her eye from the sight of her gun. Mal bit his lip.

"Yeah..."

The door groaned; all noise behind it stopped. Mal curled his finger around the trigger, readying to shoot. On the other side of the bay, Jayne held up his hand. There was a muffled impact, and then the door flew open with a loud bang. Mal stiffened, a large amount of steam spilled out. Jayne jerked his hand, signalling them to hold. Half a foot appeared. Jayne dropped his hand. Mal fired; so did Zoe. Jayne grabbed a grenade and lobbed it through the door.

"Get down!" He yelled. Mal threw himself to the floor.

The infirmary rocked; Simon held onto the bench. Madeline screamed as she fell off the bed, dragging the oxygen mask with her. River was pulling herself up, her forehead bleeding where it had made contact with the wall. She pulled Madeline into a corner and held her protectively. Simon stumbled as a second impact burst through the ship, covering his head and trying to avoid the medication falling from the cupboards. He knelt beside River and Madeline, quickly pulling the mask back over Madeline's mouth before the room swayed again. River was terrified, but she kept a hold on Madeline and refused to let it show. She hugged her little sister and told her it would be okay. For the first time she felt like she was lying.

The smoke cleared; Mal pulled himself back up and fired without hesitation. Zoe and Jayne were already pushing rounds through the door. Sounds and shots rang behind it. Mal stopped.

"Halt!" he yelled. The others continued to fire. Mal waved his arms to get their attention.

"Stop!" he yelled when they looked at him. Jayne pulled his gun back, giving Mal a questioning grimace.

"Look!" Mal hissed. Slabs of metal, dinted where bullets had hit them, were advancing through Serenity's door. Jayne ground his teeth.

"What now?" Shepherd yelled. Mal turned to Zoe.

"Quick; get up to the walkway while they're still hiding," He whispered to her, "When they peek their heads out of those shields you fire as hard you can. Take this; don't stop till you've got 'em out. They'll have no choice but to face us." He thrust an automatic into her hand. Zoe leapt up.

"Jayne, give us some cover fire!" Mal yelled. He lifted his gun and sent a barrage of bullets down on the approaching soldiers. Zoe leapt two stairs at a time, leaning over the railing as she sent shots raining down. The soldiers yelled; raising their shields above their heads.

"Now!" Mal called. He, Jayne and Shepherd leapt up. Barely a few seconds into their assault a smoke bomb flew through the open door. Five men stepped over their fallen comrades; four disbanded and ran at the crew. Mal found his arms secured behind him as he spluttered in the choking fog. He threw his elbow back; hearing as satisfying sound from his captor as he threw him off. Mal turned, his arms outstretched as he tried to navigate his way through the smoke. He hit something solid and a hand seized his neck. The smoke cleared; Mal saw a man in neat blue clothes looking satisfied as he held him.

"Captain Reynolds, I presume?" He said coolly, "tell me, where will I find River Tam and Madeline Brooke?"


	15. Chapter 15

Mal was thrown backwards as the man released his grip

Mal was thrown backwards as the man released his grip. As he lay flat on his back, he saw that Zoe and the others had been pinned down by feds in the confusion. He coughed slightly as the man moved to stand over him.

"Forgive me. You do of course need a clear airway to be able to speak. Understand that my question is of the utmost importance; I would like not attempts at deception."

"What we would like and what we get are often two different things," Mal croaked, half to himself.

"True," The man hauled Mal to his feet, "but I can be quite persuasive when I want."

"I imagine," Mal swung out at the man, kicking him backward a few inches. He looked around for his fallen gun, only to be thrown against a wall again.

"Ah gay…" Mal muttered, leaning against it and standing unsteadily. The man grabbed him again.

"Do you remember what I asked you, or should I repeat myself?" he asked. Mal spat a bit of blood onto the floor."

"You have no right to go near them," he hissed venomously. The man shoved him.

"Jien ta duh guay I don't," he said angrily, "Madeline is my daughter."

Mal stared in disbelief. He couldn't believe it. But now that he had no other option but to stare into his captor's eyes, he saw that they were the same clear blue as the girl's. But they were a lot colder.

"You stupid son of a…. you sent you own daughter to that place?!"

"Certainly I did," The man said, still keeping a tight grip on the neck of Mal's clothes, "she had the skills, the gifts… why wouldn't I give her that opportunity?"

"What opportunity?" Mal asked incredulously, "to be tortured? Violated, same as River?"

"We're helping them," the man hissed, "helping everyone."

"Don't give me that," Mal said, shoving his captor, but succeeding in nothing other than jerking his own neck, "those children are being butchered! How is that helping anyone!?"

"I don't expect you to understand," The man said, pulling Mal off the wall, "I did what was best for her."

"You know what I think?" said Mal, pulling his arm out of his shirt, and swinging at the man, catching him off-guard. He stumbled backward.

"I think you're just jealous that your daughter learnt her timetables faster than you."

The man pushed himself up, his nose bleeding. Mal was walking unsteadily away. The man grabbed his shoulders and held him in a headlock.

"As much as I hate to say it," he whispered in Mal's ear, "Madeline is not my priority. The Tam girl our most advanced subject so far. She is my focus. Now Captain," He tightened his grip, "I'll ask again. Where will I find Madeline and River?"

Mal gasped, trying to protest, but a small scream floated down from the infirmary. The man looked up.

"Come with me," he pulled Mal up the stairs, his eyes fixed on the room above.

"River!"

Simon leant over Madeline to examine his sister. The latest jolt of the ship had sent medical equipment raining down on the three people huddled in the corner. Simon reached for River's arm, where a surgical scalpel protruded. She was whimpering, soft tears running down her face as she tired to hold her sobs in. Simon gripped it carefully and lifted it out. River flinched.

"Hold her, but keep that elevated" he whispered, gesturing to Madeline. He leaned out to grab a fallen pack of gauze and some tape. He tore the packet open with his mouth and strapped some gauze over her arm.

"It should hold for now," he said. River nodded, biting her lip.

"When will it stop?" she whispered.

"I don't know, mei-mei" Simon sighed. He had been expecting something like this to happen, but found he was no more prepared for it. He wrapped an arm around River and pulled her close; fully aware that these were some of the last moments he may get to spend with her.

Footsteps sounded outside the door; River's head jerked around. Her fingers curled protectively around Madeline, ready to push her out of harms way or pull her to safety, whichever should come first. Simon watched the door intently. Mal's shoes came into view. Simon relaxed, but River tensed. Someone else rounded the corner with the Captain. The man smiled.

"Hello, River," he said, "long time, no see. Maddy… it's time to come home."

Simon leapt up, pulling a gun out of his pocket. The man reacted instantly; he pulled his own from his back pocket and aimed it at Simon's hand. He yelled at the impact and dropped the weapon. River pushed Madeline to him; she sprung up and leapt at the man with a primal yell. The man hardly glanced at her, but fired a shot that sent her sprawling to the floor. River's leg was bleeding. Simon pulled Madeline with him, moving slowly to the intercom. He slammed against it as the ship lurched.

"Now!" he said into it, his voice straining.

Wash heard the signal come through. Forgetting his mission of keeping Serenity stable, he grabbed his own com relay.

"Inara, Kaylee, go!"

"Got it," Inara glanced at Kaylee, who had armed herself with a heavy spanner. Kaylee nodded nervously. Inara punched the release button and the shuttle door opened. The two ran quietly out.


	16. Chapter 16

Mal was thrown into the infirmary

Mal was thrown into the infirmary. He fell into Simon, who caught him just in time to prevent him from falling. The man kept his gun coolly on the two of them. Madeline was crawling over to River, who was still lying on the ground, her breath coming in ragged bursts. The man spoke into a bracelet on his arm before bending down and hauling the two up. Madeline yelled in protest, but River could do no more than whimper. Madeline writhed, attempting to throw her father off her, but he kept such a firm hold on her that her hand was turning white. River was trying to pull away, but her injured leg refused to hold. The man looked over at Simon.

"Don't worry, Doctor," he said snidely, "we'll take good care of your sister. If you don't make things more difficult than they need to be, we may even let you have her back, should our experiments prove… unsuccessful." Simon glared through pained eyes.

"River…" he began, but the man pulled her out of the room. Her leg slipped but he did not halt; just dragged her through the doorway. The instant he stepped out over the threshold, Inara and Kaylee jumped out. Armed with a teapot and a spanner, they struck the man over the head before he could react. He fell in a heap; Madeline and River fell with him.

"What the…" Mal said, half angrily, half tiredly. Simon hurried out to River while Kaylee disentangled Madeline. Inara secured the man's arms behind his back. Mal limped over to help.

"You two disobeyed my orders!" he said angrily. Kaylee looked ashamed, Inara glared.

"We just saved these two because of it," She hissed angrily.

"I didn't want to leave you guys," Kaylee said in a small voice.

"It's my fault," Simon said. He was examining River's leg carefully, before lifting her into his arms and sitting her on a couch.

"Can someone get me some tweezers, and some numbing agent?" he asked. Kaylee scuttled into the infirmary. Madeline looked up and tried to follow her, but Mal stopped her, lifting her into his arms and resting her over his shoulder. She relaxed and wound her arms around his neck.

"What do you mean it was your fault?" Mal asked.

"They came in, asked what they could do," Simon said tiredly, taking the supplies from Kaylee, "I told them to release the other shuttle, and that I'd signal Wash when we needed them. We wanted to get the feds off guard, should they find us."

"And what if there'd been more than one? They could have gotten killed!" Mal said angrily.

"If it got to that-"Simon started.

"Then I was going to surrender," River said weakly. Mal stared at her. Simon shot some anaesthetic into her leg and she rested her head tiredly on the couch.

"You were going to surrender?" Mal asked quietly.

"That wasn't my idea," Simon said around a mouthful of tweezers.

"She didn't want us getting hurt," Inara said, looking significantly at Mal.

"But… they would have taken you back to that place. What they'd do to you-"

"She knew that," Kaylee said, gripping River's hand as Simon worked.

"She didn't want us getting hurt," Inara said again. Mal opened his mouth, at a loss for what to say. He walked over to the couch and, making sure Madeline was not going to fall, reached down and stroked her head. River was sleeping lightly.

"You are amazing, kid," he whispered.

"Mal," Inara said sharply, "what about the others?"

"Gos se," Mal cursed. He spun back round.

"We gotta figure this out. Kaylee, I want you to stay here, and this time I mean it. Watch River and Madeline, and help Simon if he needs. Wash," Mal hit the com button, "we need you down here. Now we don't know what the situation is down there, but we got the element of surprise on our side. Inara, you take Wash head to help Zoe and Jayne. I'll go for Shepherd. Help them out, stop the feds, then we'll see what we can do 'bout that ship at our door." Wash came clattering down the stairs.

"What's the plan?" he asked.

"Inara'll fill you in," Mal turned, "let's go!"

Kaylee patted Madeline's back, watching worriedly as Simon attempted to remove the bullet form River's leg.

"You want help? It must be hard with one hand."

Simon did not look up. He was holding his injured hand behind his back to avoid contamination.

"No thanks," he said through his concentration, "my left hand's surprisingly dexterous. Maybe if you could bring me more light?"

"Sure," Kaylee brought a small lamp over to him.

"Thanks."

Kaylee watched River carefully.

"She really would have done it, wouldn't she?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," Simon said heavily. He withdrew some metal from River's leg and dropped it on the floor. He carefully placed some gauze over the wound and wrapped her leg in a bandage.

"You think she could have lived with it?" Kaylee asked. Simon looked up, caught off guard by the question.

"No," he said gently, grasping River's hand, "I think she cares about you. About all of us."

"I couldn't have, if she'd gone back for us," Kaylee whispered. Simon pulled her into a hug.

"I know, he whispered, "neither could I."

Mal stopped them before they rounded the corner. He peered out cautiously, careful not to let more of his face protrude than was necessary. The pack of feds had been reduced to three; they circled Zoe, Jayne and Shepherd who were bound together. Mal fell back and pulled the others in.

"Right, the feds have got them all, which means we need a new plan. I'm all for rushin' them straight out but that's likely cost us. At the moment we're equal in numbers so we're going to need to be smarter. Wash; run into Jayne's room, he's got more'n a score o' guns there. Inara, storage locker two has the gas bombs and masks; get 'em, bring 'em here. We set up shop here, provide cover fire while Inara sneaks downstairs. Inara'll throw the bombs, feds'll be knocked out and we throw them the guay off our ship. "

"But we'll gas the others too!" Inara protested.

"I think they'll forgive us this once," Mal said through gritted teeth, "now go!" Inara glared at him but hurried off. Wash followed, returning quickly with guns before sitting beside Mal and fiddling nervously.

"They'll be fine," he said, half angrily. Wash stopped his movements.

"Sorry," he muttered. Mal bit his tongue, realising how harsh he had sounded.

"Don't worry," he tried again, "we'll get 'em clear soon."

Inara came scurrying up to them, crouching and dropping the bundle in her hands at their feet.

"There," she said breathlessly, "when do we go?"

"Now," Mal said. Without looking back he leapt to his feet and fired. Inara swore and Wash joined him.

"You could have given me some warning!" she said, pulling a mask over her face. Mal didn't hear her.


	17. Chapter 17

The soldiers yelped as the barrage of bullets bounced off Serenity's metal floor

The soldiers yelped as the barrage of bullets bounced off Serenity's metal floor. They fell back, returning fire but achieving nothing but denting the upstairs doorway. Inara poked her head around; she took a deep breath, pulled the pin out and hurled it at the group. It exploded in a cloud of mist. Coughing and moans sounded from it before loud thuds indicated the all clear. Inara hurried out when she heard Mal and Wash clattering down the stairs.

"Wash, secure the feds!" Mal barked at him.

"but-" Wash objected, looking longingly to where Zoe was sleeping against Book.

"Just do it!" Mal yelled, grabbing the arms of one. Wash hurried to obey. Inara bent down and cut the others free.

"we need to get them to the infirmary," she said worriedly," I think they're just some bruises, but still…"

"Alright, take them up to the doc," Mal said, dragging the feds over to the door, "and while you're there check on River." Mal cast his eyes down and Inara lifted Jayne.

"I hope that girl's okay," he whispered.

"Simon!" Inara called breathlessly. Simon looked up, cursing as he jabbed himself with the tweezers.

"Yeah?" he said, looking down at his bleeding hand.

"Oh god," Inara saw him, dragging Jayne behind her, "are you okay?"

"What's the matter?" Simon asked, avoiding the question.

"The others," Inara let go of Jayne's hand and gestured behind her, "we got them free but they could be hurt."

"Alright, I'll get on it soon," Simon said.

"You take care of yourself first," Inara looked worried.

"I will."

"How's River?" Ingra's eyes strayed to River's pale face.

"Not so good," Simon didn't meet her eyes.

"Is she-"

"Are there more coming?" Simon cut across her. Inara swallowed her question, trying not to be hurt by his terse manner.

"Yes," she said.

"Then I'd better get ready," Simon rose unsteadily. Inara understood the message; she left the room quickly.

Simon swayed; Kaylee jumped up to steady him.

"You should keep seated," she said, concern darkening her face.

"No… too much to do," he said. He looked down at River. Madeline had curled up beside her and was resting her head on her shoulder. River's breathing was laboured; she seemed to be struggling. Kaylee followed his gaze sympathetically.

"Anything I can do for her?" she asked. Simon shook his head.

"She… lost a lot of blood. I'm going to have to give her a transfusion but… I can't do it in the shape I am."

"Maybe I can do it," Mal came up the stairs carrying book with him. Inara and Wash followed behind.

"What's her blood type?" he asked.

"O positive," Simon said wearily.

"Good," Mal said, rolling up his sleeve, "wait- what's my blood type?"

"You don't know your blood type?" Inara said incredulously.

"Don't usually need to!" Mal put on the defensive.

"I can take a test," Simon said, "but you're injured. You shouldn't-"

"Don't make no difference," Mal said stoutly. "Jab me."

Simon sighed. He stumbled into the infirmary, rummaging through the fallen supplies. He hobbled back to Mal.

"This will sting a bit," he sighed.

"It'll take a while to get the results," Simon walked into the trashed infirmary.

"Alright," Mal rubbed his arm, "you look after her. Meantime I've got some feds to deal with. Wash, gimme a hand here." Mal kept his bled arm elevated as he pulled the man called Brooke up. Wash leapt up to help him.

"Kaylee, follow!" Mal called. Kaylee glanced at Simon before going to help. The three clattered down the stairs, Kaylee moving at a slight run to catch up.

"What do you need, captain?" she asked. Mal kicked out at the bound Feds.

"Get these guys into their ship, get Serenity disconnected," Mal told her. He dropped Brooke in the corner and made to help her.

"Then we gotta deal with this guy."

"Who is he?" Kaylee asked.

"One angry father," Mal muttered. Wash stopped.

"Come again?" he asked.

"Folks, meet Madeline's dear old Dad," Mal said sarcastically. Wash stared.

"Tsai boo shr, you've got to be kidding me!" he exclaimed.

"Hey, this isn't that kid's fault," Mal said quickly, "I don't think she knows; didn't seem to recognise him. She didn't bring this down on us, they were after River anyway."

"Why?" Kaylee dropped one of the feds onto the ship.

"I have no idea," Mal said. "What matters is they didn't get her."

"They almost did," Wash pointed out. Mal sighed.

"I know." He looked down into Brooke's face. "I'm going to find out what's going on here. That ship good to go?"

"Almost there, captain."

"Good," Mal gestured at Wash and they lifted the man again.

"It's done," Kaylee said, sighing.

"Get the door!" Mal's voice strained with the exertion. He and Wash dropped Brooke into the airlock.

"Let's wait til out man wakes up," Mal said.

Inara stood behind Simon, feeling decidedly useless. Simon stared unblinkingly into a cracked microscope.

"Can I help?" Inara burst out, biting her lip immediately. She knew Simon would not appreciate the interruption. She stuttered as he turned to face her.

"I- I'm sorry," she began.

"It's fine," he said, "I didn't mean to speak to you so rudely before. I'm just worried," Simon closed his eyes briefly before turning back to his work.

"That's okay," Inara said, surprised, "I just fell so-"

Her words were cut short by a distressed cry from Madeline.

"Wizard," she said shakily, panic on the edge of her voice. She raised her head, staring hard and River.

"Wizard!" she called again. Simon turned.

"Can you help her?" he asked Inara. Inara hurried over, taking Madeline into her arms.

"What's wrong, bao-bay?" she asked. Madeline was staring desperately at River.

"Wizard," she gripped Ingra's hands and hid her face. Suddenly River convulsed; her eyes snapped open and she coughed. Her body began to shake violently. Inara stared.

"Simon!" she yelled, "Something's wrong!"

Simon glanced behind him, swearing. He scrounged around the trashed infirmary, grabbing a vial and running over.

"Help me get her on her side!" he yelled. Inara reached around Madeline, helping Simon lift River carefully. Simon bit the lid of a syringe, pulling it off and loading the substance of the vial into it. He carefully aimed it at her shoulder. He withdrew it quickly and River's convulsions stopped. Her eyes flickered as she became aware again.

"Hey, mei-mei, shh," Simon said when she moved in panic. He put his and on her cheek to comfort her. "You're okay, just lie still." Madeline wriggled out of Ingra's arms and rested her head carefully beside River. River reached up and grasped her hand. Inara glanced at Simon.

"She knew," she whispered to him in awe.

"Shuh muh?"

"Madeline," Inara elaborated, "it was like she knew what was going to happen. That's why she was calling you."

Simon looked down at the small girl, who had closed her eyes contentedly again. River rested her head against hers and did the same.

"Madeline?" Simon said quietly. One of Madeline's eyes opened cautiously.

"Did you know that would happen?" Simon said tentatively, realising the absurdity of his question. Very slowly, Madeline nodded. Inara stared. Simon met her gaze.

"Stay with them," he said, standing, "if she says anything," he nodded at Madeline, "call me."

"I will," Inara said. Simon nodded, throwing one last concerned look at River before turning back to his work.


	18. Chapter 18

Brooke woke enclosed in the thin walls of Serenity's air lock

Brooke woke enclosed in the thin walls of Serenity's air lock. His reached up gingerly, feeling dried blood on the back of his head. He did not need much time to come to terms with what had happened; something had gone wrong and that was all he needed to haul himself up. Brooke immediately realised things were not stacked in his favour; he only had about a metre and a half between him and walls, one of which had the darkness of space blaring though the windows. Someone knocked on the window.

"Woke up have you?" the syllables of each word were barely distinguishable through the metal. Brooke saw Malcolm Reynolds' face gazing amusedly at him though the circular window. He glared.

"Think you've won, do you captain?" he said sneeringly.

"Nothing of the sort," Mal yelled, "merely think I've got you about in as nice a situation as you put your daughter in. actually, I'd say much nicer. Cosy, even."

"you have no idea," Brooke hissed.

"you're right about that," Mal said, "so I'm thinkin' you should give me some reason as to why you're after River and why the alliance decided to start desecrating children."

"You think I'm just going to tell you?"

"I admit my hopes aren't high," Mal said darkly.

"maybe you're not as stupid as I thought," Brooke said with as much contempt in his voice as he could manage.

"you're not the first one to say that, nor will you be the last," Mal began to walk away, "but them's gonna be your last words, lest you got any point to make that might interest me." Mal stood casually beside the door release.

"How bout it?" he called. Brooke glared.

"right then," Mal punched the button down. A hissing sounded as plastic seals released and Serenity's feminine voice called a warning. Brooke was sucked backward out into the blackness; his eyes growing even harder as ice sealed around them. Mal sighed and turned away; coming face to face with Jayne, who was holding an ice pack to his head; his mouth open.

"What?" Mal asked. Jayne clamped his mouth shut and shook his head.

"Didn't think you'd ever actually do that," he muttered.

"Exceptional people get exceptional treatment," Mal passed him. Jayne stared at his back.

"Glad I'm not exceptional," he murmured.

"Bet River wishes she wasn't too," Mal whispered to himself.

Simon measured the flow from Mal's arm carefully. River was awake now; Madeline leant carefully on her knees as Inara brought her some water. Mal looked over at her when Simon had gone and grasped her hand.

"how you faring there, girl?" he asked. River smiled dazedly at him. She was still looking clammy, but Mal took the fact that she was awake as a good sign. Madeline was watching him with her clear blue eyes and Mal couldn't help but notice the similarity between hers and the man he had just sent into space. He also couldn't help noticing the difference. Even without the frame of her light brown hair they were much warmer. She was looking up at Mal, half curiously and half defensively; her stance stiff as though ready to react at any moment. River's head was lulling again; Mal could see she was tired.

"You go to sleep if you want," he whispered gently. River gave him a thankful look and leant back. Madeline raised her head, concernedly watching her big sister before closing her eyes as well. Inara returned, her graceful step slowing as she saw the two girls slumbering. She was holding a cup of tea in her hand, which she passed carefully to Mal.

"Thankyou," he said, surprised. Inara looked away.

"That's fine," she said. Mal smiled.

"I'm glad you're okay," She said after a while.

"Yeah," Mal said, "I'm glad I had the right blood."

"This is very kind of you. I agree with Simon; with the state he's in he wouldn't want to put much more stress on his body."

Mal looked over to where Simon was gingerly cleaning the infirmary with his hand wrapped in a bandage.

"Has he told you how bad it is yet?" Inara asked.

"No. he won't til he's ready." Mal sighed. "You know, I wasn't really angry that you'd stayed back." Inara looked round.

"Then why were you angry?" she asked sharply.

"I wasn't," Mal hesitated, "I was scared." Inara gaped uncharacteristically. Mal laughed slightly.

"Close your mouth, or something's like to fly into it," he became serious again, "I just didn't want to see you or Kaylee hurt." Mal coughed slightly.

"Especially you." He muttered. He looked over at Inara, who seemed to have just registered his words and shut her mouth with a clunk. Mal chuckled again.

"that's… I really…" Inara set down the plate she was still holding before leaning carefully over the IV lines to Kiss Mal. Mal blinked in surprise. Inara straightened up, looking sheepish. She looked around wildly as though hoping to draw attention away from what just happened. Mal watched her amusedly.

"I was coming up to… I came to help Madeline get cleaned up," She said, still frazzled, "but if she's asleep…"

"why don't you ask her anyway? I don't think she's really sleeping," Mal generously offered her the chance to escape. He turned to Madeline and said slightly louder; "are you darlin'?"

Madeline cracked one eye open and gazed at him cheekily. Mal grinned at her.

"Told you," he said to Inara, playfully tapping Madeline's nose. A small smile twitched onto her lips. Inara crouched down so that she was eye level with Madeline.

"would you like to come with me, bao-bay?" she asked gently. Madeline lifted her head to eye River protectively before turning back to gaze at Mal.

"I'll look after her, don't worry," Mal caught the question behind the small girl's expression. Madeline bit her lip slightly before turning to Inara and nodding. Inara smiled and held out her hands. Madeline slid slowly off the couch and wrapped her arms around Inara's neck.

"I'll bring her back soon," Inara promised, rising with Madeline content in her arms. Mal nodded.

"seeya then."

Inara retreated out of the room. Mal leant his head back on the couch, still surprised at what had happened. He sighed and glanced at River, who was sleeping happily beside him. Mal looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes too; glad he had been able to help her. He mused that he understood why River had so badly wanted to get Madeline out; it was the same as him wanting to keep Inara out of danger.

"Thanks, Doc," Mal rubbed his arm where the needle had sat in it for the past hour. River was awake; she leaned over and hugged Mal carefully. Mal returned it, one armed. Some of the colour had returned to her cheeks but she still looked exhausted.

"Where's Maddy?" she asked.

"Inara's looking after her," Mal said.

"Want me to take you to see her?" Kaylee asked. River nodded.

"please," she said wearily. Kaylee turned.

"Simon, is River alright to move?" she asked concernedly. Simon looked up from the mess of tubes in his hand.

"As long as that bandage holds, and she's feeling okay," he said apprehensively, "but don't let her put too much weight on that foot. Here," he found a folded walking frame and handed it to Kaylee, "it's hardly suited but it'll help her." Kaylee struggled with the frame, trying to assemble it. Mal took it from her and pushed it into shape easily. Kaylee blushed when he handed it back to her, embarrassed.

"thanks captain," she mumbled. She bent down and slid her arm under River's shoulder, letting her put all her weight on her while she gripped the frame.

"you'll still need to hold onto Kaylee," Simon told River, steadying her carefully, "I don't want you to walk on that leg."

"He worries too much," River leant over and kissed her brother affectionately. Simon smiled for the first time in a long while. River giggled at how she was standing.

"I look old," she laughed. Kaylee hugged her.

"you look fine. C'mon now, let's go find your little sister." The two began to move awkwardly up the stairs.

Simon sighed threw the used tubing moodily into the Bin. Mal followed him.

"Doc, can I have a word?" he asked. Simon looked up warily.

"sure," he sighed reluctantly. Mal looked away, trying to decide how to approach it.

"how bad is it?' he asked.

"she'll be fine."

"I ain't talking bout River; I'm talking about you," Mal said as gently as he could manage while hiding his frustration. Simon dropped his head.

"not good," Simon spoke almost inaudibly, "I don't think… I don't know if I'll be able to use it much anymore."

"but you managed to get the bullet out of River's leg," Mal said hopefully.

"with my left hand, and that was only because she wasn't moving and I didn't have to use other tool to further open…" Simon stopped.

"I don't know how good a medic I'll be with just one hand," he said. Mal frowned.

"there's more," he said.

"no there's not."

"that wasn't a question," Mal said, "you may not have the most readable face doc, but I can see you're worried about something."

"There's nothing else wrong with me!" Simon insisted.

"Simon," Mal managed to speak softly, "what are you worried about. Maybe I can help."

Simon looked fiercely into Mal's eyes but eventually conceded. He looked away, deciding to busy himself elsewhere.

"I was just worried that… well," Simon spoke over his shoulder. Mal watched him; not interrupting to give him scope to continue.

"I just thought that if I couldn't be a medic, you wouldn't want to have me or River on the ship anymore," he said quietly. Mal started to laugh but bit his tongue quickly, so the sound that emerged could have easily been mistaken for a sneeze.

"you thought that?" he asked seriously.

"yes," Simon whispered. Mal walked over and stood behind him until Simon had to turn around.

"Doctor," Mal said sincerely, "you and your sister are part of my crew. I don't care what you can or can't do; that ain't gonna change. That means," he continued at Simon's questioning look, "that we're stickin' with you like an old married couple. for better or worse." He flashed Simon a reassuring smile.

"next time you're worryin' bout something like that, you come to me. I'll put you in your place. Right now all you gotta worry bout is yourself and your sister."

Simon was staring at him. Mal sighed.

"Don't look so startled," he said heavily, "I gotta go talk to Book; talk to you later Doc." He left Simon with his relief in the infirmary.


	19. Chapter 19

Inara looked up at the rapping on her shuttle door

Inara looked up at the rapping on her shuttle door.

"Come in!" she called. Kaylee entered first, Helping River over the small step that separated the shuttle from eh rest of Serenity.

"River!" Inara said, surprised, "bao-bay, are you alright?" River nodded, watching the floor carefully as she moved into the shuttle. She screwed up her eyes as her leg made contact with a table. Kaylee gasped and apologised.

"It's okay," River said meekly. Kaylee looked worried.

'We came looking for Madeline," she said to Inara. Inara smiled and looked down. Madeline was sitting at her feet, resting her head on her knees as Inara ran a comb through her wet hair. She moved over to let River sit beside her on the bed. Madeline turned and looked up and River smiled and grasped her shoulder reassuringly. Seemingly calmed, Madeline turned back.

"We had a bit of a bath," Inara told River, lovingly patting Madeline's hair dry with a towel, "first one in a long time, I assume. I think she liked it too," she smiled as Madeline looked round as though to agree. River smiled. Madeline pulled away from Inara and climbed up onto the bed to resume her favourite position on River's lap. Inara stopped her; putting the towel over River before nodding at Madeline.

"I didn't want her to make your bandage wet," Inara said in response to River's questioning expression. She nodded and ran her fingers though Madeline's hair, noticing the different in the girl's features now that she was clean. River closed her eyes and swayed slightly; Kaylee quickly put her hand behind her back to catch her.

"I think we'd better go," she said worriedly.

"Mm sorry," River mumbled.

"Don't be sorry," Kaylee laughed slightly. River smiled; gripping the edge of the bed for stability.

"You wanna come baby?" Kaylee asked Madeline. She nodded, pulling at River's arm and looking up at her.

"Don't worry mei-mei, I'm okay," River said quietly. Madeline watched Kaylee help River grip the frame again before holding onto it as well to make sure she was close. Kaylee smiled at her as the three started slowly out of the room.

"Hey there Shepherd," Mal slid open the door of the passenger room. Shepherd Book lifted his head; holding a pack of ice to it.

"I see Simon's already attended to you. How you feelin'?"

"I've got one massive headache," Book coughed, the hint of humour behind his words. Mal chuckled.

"I'm sure you do. Mind if we had a chat?"

"Would it make a difference if I said I did?" Book said wearily.

"Probably not," Mal said cheerfully. Shepherd groaned.

"What do you want to know?" he asked.

"A fair bit," Mal admitted. Shepherd nodded.

"Shoot," he said. Mal frowned.

"I ain't that mad," he said defensively. It had the desired affect; Shepherd let out his booming laugh.

"I don't wanna believe bad of ya, preacher," Mal shook his head slightly as he spoke, "which is why despite the many suspicions you've given me I ain't questioned you to closely. But things have changed," Mal sighed, "that kid don't have no where to go. Don't think she even got much of herself. So she gotta be safe here. Which means… I need to know why she don't want you near her."

"Fair enough," Book said, leaning back. Mal watched him.

"You gonna spill or do I need to ask formally?" he asked. Book smiled.

"Where do you want me to start?"

"From the beginning."

Shepherd sat up, keeping the icepack firmly against his head. Mal reached out to help him.

"I'm alright," he said, holding up his hand. Mal nodded and seated himself. Shepherd sighed.

"So," he said heavily.

"So," Mal agreed. Shepherd laughed briefly.

"I was approached, some years ago," Shepherd began, "I was working as a counsellor on Shinon, when the alliance approached me. They said that they had a facility, that the subjects were mentally disturbed. They wanted someone from the outside for the subjects to talk to; thought they might feel more secure. Well, of course I accepted, I was happy to help. When I got there… well let's just say they didn't mention exactly how disturbed the subjects were. I saw about three children in a session, once a week. They were… terrible. They seemed to have no restraint, words just kept coming to their mouths and it was like they had a compulsion to utter each of them. One of them was Madeline. I had no idea what was going on then, until one day some men came in when I was trying to talk to a girl; she looked about twelve. They hauled her out without saying a word; she was screaming. I didn't understand why, I yelled at them but they didn't stop. So I followed. They took her, strapped her onto a gurney and pushed her into a room I'd never been allowed in. there they sat her in a chair and… well…"

Shepherd drew a large, shuddering breath. Mal was watching with wide eyes, taking in every word with an expression of horror on his face.

"They didn't see me there until it was too late," Shepherd sighed. They were angry; but they knew I had told people I was working for them, so they also knew they couldn't kill me without arousing suspicion." Shepherd caught Mal's eye.

"You have no idea how much they want that place hidden. They paid me a lot, to keep my mouth shut, but I couldn't forget what I'd seen. I'm not ashamed to admit it disturbed me. I became a shepherd in an attempt to help me deal with it, but in the end I couldn't let it go. I found an underground group who knew about the facility; they were trying to take it down. I joined up with them, kept tabs on the place. Then we heard a subject had gotten loose; that she had been taken out by her brother. We tracked them to Persephone, and I left the group to keep an eye on them." Shepherd looked up at Mal, who was still looking shocked.

"I expect Madeline doesn't want me near her because she associates me to the academy. I can't blame her; I was a part of it, willingly or not." He sighed. Mal shut his mouth and nodded.

"You were tracking Simon and River?" he asked softly. Book nodded.

"I wanted to make sure they were safe," he said quietly, "River was the first one ever to get out. I had to make sure…"

"So why didn't River recognise you when she saw you?" Mal asked.

"Because River was never one of the children I spoke to," Book said, "I expect they had other counsellors contracted. I had heard of her before, though, through the group's infiltration of the Academy. Her name often came up in their system; more than any other child's."

"Do you know why that is? Do you know what they were doing in there?" Mal asked quietly.

"I know that they saw River as their greatest success. I know they were manipulating the mind of the children; to the extreme. But honestly we never found out exactly what was going on. At least, not before I left. I've been out of contact since I came on Serenity."

Mal let out a breath he felt like he'd been holding since Book started talking. He let his head fall into his hands and rubbed his eyes a little harder than necessary.

"I hope that answers some of your questions," Book said tiredly.

"Not as many as the others it's raised." Mal straightened up.

"But I'm glad I don't have to shoot you, Preacher. Honestly I was worried. I ain't got no patience for them that hurt those kids. I couldn't see you as one of them but…" Mal shook his head, "since that man told me Madeline was his daughter, I don't know what to believe. How could anyone put their own kid through that?"

"How could anyone put any child through that," Shepherd said quietly.

Kaylee pushed her hair out of her face tiredly, shutting the sliding door quietly and placing the walking frame carefully outside. Simon almost walked into her as he rounded the corner.

"Hey!" Kaylee said, throwing out her arm to steady him as he almost slipped.

"Hi," Simon blinked, "Where's River? Is she okay?"

"She's fine," Kaylee assured him, "her and Maddy are sleeping in her room. I thought try to find Maddy some clothes." Simon realised the small girl was still in her sterile alliance scrubs; though they were now coated with blood and grime. He nodded.

"How's your hand?" Kaylee asked.

"Stiff," Simon said slowly, "will River be able to get around when she wakes up?"

"I told Maddy to come get me when she does," Kaylee said, "don't worry Simon, we're looking after her. Now you need to look after yourself."

"Right," Simon chuckled, "next thing I know you'll be sending me to bed with chicken soup."

"Could do you some good," Kaylee said seriously. Simon shook his head, still laughing.

"Nah, I can't. gotta go check on Jayne and Zoe and Shepherd soon."

"I'm sure they won't mind if you go have a lie down," Kaylee said, "Simon, you did get shot."

"Not badly."

"my hat!" Kaylee exclaimed. She grabbed Simon's shoulders and turned him towards his room.

"That's it, mister, you're going to bed!"

"Kaylee, no, really-"

"nope, this is not negotiable," Kaylee smirked, blocking him from escaping, "the others can tend to themselves for a bit; you get yourself some rest!"

Simon sighed, finally giving in.

"okay, okay," he said, holding up his hands showing his submission, "but if anything happens, you come wake me. Promise?"

"alright, I promise," Kaylee shoved him slightly.

"okay," Simon laughed as he turned into his bedroom.


	20. Chapter 20

"Hey Wash," Mal leant on the back of the pilot's chair, looking over his shoulder, "how we going with getting up and running

"Hey Wash," Mal leant on the back of the pilot's chair, looking over his shoulder, "how we going with getting up and running?"

"Only just started, really," Wash admitted, "I just sent Kaylee down to look at the core; we've got a few crucial problems at the moment. I was trying to give her a break before we started; she seems pretty attached to that kid."

"Yeah, she does. So we back on track?"

"No where near," Wash flicked some controls, bringing a diagnostic up on screen.

"Our main power's gotten knocked out, along with a lot of our thrust mechanisms and support systems. Kaylee's down regulating' the containment at the moment, that would have eventually fried us. But we're looking at a couple of days just floating until we can get this fixed and I dunno whether we've got the supplies or not."

"Gos se," Mal muttered, "How far away are we from harbour?"

"Boros is nearby," Wash changed the screen," we may be able to get there with a bit of creative handling, but it'll still take a few days, and Kaylee's gonna be worn out by the end of it."

"Let's hope it don't come to that then," Mal straightened up, "I'll go help Kaylee with an inventory, see what we got that could keep us running. You seen Zoe yet?"

"Yeah captain."

"She okay?"

"Sore, but alright," Wash smiled, "she wouldn't stay in bed, she's down in the hold with Jayne moving the crates back."

Mal shook his head, laughing.

"I should set Kaylee on them. Did ya hear she sent Simon to bed?"

"I surely did," Wash chuckled. Mal retreated down the stairs, still laughing to himself.

Madeline's eyes opened immediately when River stirred. She craned her neck to see her big sister open her eyes with a lot less agility. Madeline wriggled out from her arm to sit up and watch her.

"Hey mei-mei," River mumbled, pushing herself up on one arm. She manoeuvred herself carefully until she was sitting with her legs hanging carefully over the bed. Madeline moved to sit behind her, her lips locked together in concern. She cocked her head slightly, looking up at River. River turned and pulled her into a hug, tickling her slightly. Madeline opened her mouth and laughed, for the first time in years; a light trilling that sounded so full that it filled the room. Her cheeks were locked in that smile when River stopped and she wrinkled her nose in playful protest. River giggled, sitting her up again.

"Mei-mei, can you do me a favour?" River asked softly. Madeline looked up.

"You want me to go get Kaylee for you?" she asked in a whisper. River was not surprised she knew.

"Do you think you can?" River asked, "I don't want you to if you think you'd be scared." Madeline sniffed slightly and shook her head, looking at the floor.

"I can go," she whispered.

"Are you sure?"

Madeline looked up again and smiled.

"I can do it," she said seriously, looking as though she was trying to convince herself as much as River. River frowned.

"You come running back here if you get scared," She hugged Madeline tightly. Madeline returned it before sliding out of her arms and walking carefully in her bare feet to the door. She pulled back the translucent screen and peered out, before glancing once more at River and stepping through. She walked quietly along the room, her light footsteps barely drawing a sound from the carpeted overlay. Madeline kept her arms wrapped tightly across her chest, placing her feet carefully with each step forward so as not to put strain on her stick thin legs. She found the stairs and gripped the railing carefully for assistance; testing the strength of her knees before starting down them. Madeline had been so busy watching the progress of her feet that she only noticed the other presence in the room when she had conquered the stairs. She looked up, and the little colour in her cheeks drained. Shepherd book was standing in the middle of the kitchen, looking almost as surprised as she was. Madeline backed up uncertainly; her heel hit the start of the stairs and she stumbled slightly. Book moved forward to help her, making it as far as the stairs before Madeline had righted herself enough to back away into the small cavity where the armchairs sat. Madeline had crossed her arms again; she looked down and calculated her position through her hair. She could faintly hear the man talking to her, but ignored it. River had told her to come back if she got scared, but the man was now blocking her only escape route. Panic filled her, making itself known physically as the tremors that now shook her small body and the sudden drop in temperature she felt. The man moved toward her again, speaking; Madeline shrank back. The back of her legs hit the wall and suddenly she was cornered. Madeline shut her eyes tightly, trying to think straight. The voice sounded suddenly loudly in her head, she could sense his proximity and fright filled her again.

"Are you okay?"

Madeline shut her eyes tightly.

"Are you lost?"

She heard the concern; she knew it was false.

"Do you want me to get someone for you?"

He was coming closer. Her heart was screaming for release from the fear as it beat heavily against her chest. Madeline's head was muddled; something was creeping in behind her. She felt sick; the thin layer of sweat covering her body seemed to be chilling her unbearably in the draughty kitchen.

"Madeline…"

"What the guay's going on here?"

Madeline glanced through the thin wall of her hair but saw only one thing; there was someone else in the room. Madeline immediately pushed herself off the wall and ran at the other presence, needing the security. She collided with Jayne and immediately clung to him in her panic.

"What the…" Jayne looked down, a sour expression on his face.

"Gorram crazy girl he muttered, looking down. Madeline looked up to meet his eyes. Her panic must have been etched on her face, because Jayne's annoyance immediately melted into sympathy. Madeline was crying; she desperately mouthed 'help me' at the large man she clung to. Jayne bent down and lifted her easily.

"Good god, preacher, what'd you do to this kid?" he muttered. Madeline buried her head in his shoulder.

"I… nothing!" Shepherd said, confused, "she came down here then stopped, I wanted to see if she was okay…"

"Yeah, well she don't seem to be," Jayne hefted Madeline higher up onto his shoulder. He carefully turned her to face him, but she caught a glimpse of Book and hid again. Jayne swore, spinning so he'd be out of view.

"Where were you going, nyen ching duh?" he asked, and Book was amazed the large man could speak in such a gentle voice.

"Kaylee… needed to find Kaylee."

Jayne nodded. "Let's go then," he muttered, rubbing circles in Madeline's back in an attempt to comfort her. Madeline shrank into him as the passed Book.

" 'scuse me," Jayne said menacingly. He clanked loudly up the stairs.

Mal strode along the hallway; stopping when he saw Jayne carrying the small girl tenderly through the doorway.

"Uh, Jayne?" he said.

"Yeah Mal?"

"What you doing with the kid?"

"Takin' her to Kaylee," Jayne said simply.

"She looks terrified!" Mal said, looking from Madeline's face to Jayne's, "what did you do to her!?"

"Nothing'" Jayne said, looking hurt, "She ran in Preacher back there and he scared the gorram air out o' her!"

"oh ta ma de," Mal clapped his hand to his forehead, "I forgot about that."

"Bout what?"

"doesn't matter," Mal said, running up to the bridge, "you get her to Kaylee."

"Jayne stared after him. "you ain't the only one getting' the crazies around here kid," He muttered. He followed the clanking at the end of the hallway and stepped carefully into the engine room.

"Kaylee?" he called. Someone spluttered; Kaylee slid out from under the engine, covered in something black. She grasped a towel and wiped her face before blinking and looking around.

"Hey!" she said soothingly as Madeline leant away from Jayne to reach her. Jayne let her slide carefully out of his arms, making sure she was secure.

"she wanted you," he said gruffly. Kaylee smiled.

"thanks Jayne." Madeline leant closer to Kaylee.

"River needs you," she whispered. Kaylee strokes the small girl's hair.

"Okay, bao-bay, let's go," she said, carrying her out of the engine room.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N hello, sorry- Just wanted to say thanks to all of you who've reviewed I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me what you think. It's really encouraging! hope I can keep up the standard for you all.**

"Mei-mei!"

River's voice cracked, her face contorted in a pained expression as Kaylee entered the room with Madeline. She tried to move forward but nearly fell off the bed. Kaylee caught her arm, pushing her back against the wall. She was stooped, and looked as though she had been sitting curled up like that for some time. River was very pale; Kaylee could tell she was in pain, but at that moment all she seemed to care about was Madeline. Kaylee let her down onto the floor and the girl ran to embrace River.

"I was so worried," River was almost crying; she kissed the top of Madeline's head before straightening up, "You were gone for so long. What happened, mei-mei?"

Kaylee had retreated to get the frame, not wanting to intrude on the two girls, but she stepped back into the room as Madeline said softly; "Bad man cornered me."

Kaylee started. "Jayne?" she said, shocked, "did he hurt you darling? Is that why you looked so scared?"

"Not the big one," Madeline mumbled as Kaylee sat on the edge of the bed, "The other one. The one with the demon's hair."

"Shepherd book?" River asked, surprised. Madeline nodded and hid her head against River's chest. Kaylee look confused.

"Why does Shepherd scare you, sweetie?" she asked. Madeline turned to look at her.

"Comes from bad place," she whispered, "walks through wonderland but doesn't stop to help when the door gets small. Don't want to… go back. Bad."

River was frowning in confusion. She understood what Madeline was trying to say; Kaylee, it appeared, did not.

"What does she mean?" she asked worriedly.

"She says Book's part of the academy," River muttered. Kaylee looked shocked.

"We should talk to the captain about this," she said, sounding scared. River nodded, carefully resting her chin above Madeline's head. Kaylee watched her.

"You okay honey?" she asked. River nodded, her eyes were slightly red.

"I felt so helpless," She whispered, "When Maddy didn't come back for so long, all I wanted to do was run and find her. But I couldn't." she squeezed her eyes shut in a grimace of pain. Kaylee carefully drew Madeline away from her.

"Come on, I'll take you to your brother. Maybe he can give you something to stop that throbbing." Kaylee helped River up, steadying her. As before, Madeline gripped the side of the frame, wanting to remain close.

"Hey there doc. Good sleep?"

Simon didn't have to turn to know it was the captain. He carefully replaced a stack of meds in a cupboard as he answered.

"Very, thankyou."

"Heard Kaylee bossed you good."

Simon chuckled. "I'm never going to live that one down, am I?" he asked. Mal smiled.

"Likely not while Jayne's got air in his lungs." Mal examined a broken bottle.

"I suppose I'd be disappointed were it any other way," Simon was still laughing, "so, what can I do for you Captain?"

"Nothing of the particular variety. I'm just doin' the rounds, checkin' up on everyone. And letting y'all know there'll be a bit of a meeting after dinner."

"Meeting? Anything serious?"

"Not so much," Mal replaced the bottle, "more just a means of letting y'all know our current situation, and clearin' the air bout some things."

"I see," Simon looked up slowly from his work. Mal was almost out the door.

"You know there's something you were right about, captain," Simon said casually. Mal swung back, poking his head around the door.

"What's that?" he asked cheerfully.

"Madeline did have family. And they _did_ want her back."

Mal's face twitched into a smile.

"Lucky her, eh? Nice to feel wanted on occasion."

"I would say so," Simon smiled and went back to clearing the infirmary.

"How's River been?"

"Good," Simon said, sounding surprised, "I mean, aside from her leg, she's been acting almost normal."

"Well, that's a good thing ain't it? Any ideas why?" Mal asked.

"I think it has a lot to do with Madeline," Simon said, "I think while she's got something to focus on, there's less unwanted thoughts invading. And I think… I think she wants to be strong for her; make her feel like it's a safe place."

Mal nodded, musing.

"Well, whatever the reason, we won't be complaining."

"Definitely not."

"Simon?"

"Hey there, younglings," Mal turned and greeted Kaylee, who was leading River into the room. Mal saw Madeline gripping the walking frame, half hidden behind River. Simon looked around Mal and smiled.

"Hey there captain," Kaylee smiled at him as the three made there way into the infirmary, "Hey Simon."

"Hey," he said, moving over and kissing River, "everything okay?" he asked, directing his question to Kaylee.

"River could do with some doping," Kaylee said, helping River sit on the bed.

"Oh, Mei-mei, I'm so sorry! I completely forgot!" Simon turned a bottle upside down and brought River some water.

"That's fine," River said, smiling and showing him and empty mouth. Simon pulled her into a hug.

"How are you, Kiddo?" Mal lifted Madeline onto the side bench and pretended to take her nose. Madeline giggled and grabbed helplessly at his fist.

"Want it back," she said softly, but with a smile. Mal cheekily replaced it on her face.

"Oh, dang it, I had some clothes for her!" Kaylee said suddenly, "but captain, we should tell you something…" Kaylee went to stand next to Madeline, combing her hair with her fingers. She looked around nervously.

"What's up?" Mal's brow was creased in concern.

"Well..." Kaylee looked round at River for support, "Maddy said… Maddy said that Shepherd was from the academy. She's scared of him."

Mal sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

"Wuo de tyen ah, okay, this is going to get out of hand. When you're done there, doc, you take River up to the kitchen. Kaylee, you go to, bring Madeline. We're going to have this meeting now."

"Meeting?"

"Just go, Kaylee. I'll meet you there in a second, just gotta go find the others." Mal shouted, halfway up the stairs. Kaylee stuck her tongue out at him. Madeline giggled. Simon laughed, supporting River while she slid down onto the floor.

"Did that help mei-mei?" he asked. River nodded and smiled. Kaylee lifted Madeline, resting her on her hip.

"c'mon, let's see what captain bossy boots has to say," she said. Madeline giggled again.


	22. Chapter 22

The table was almost filled with the crew by the time Simon's group had managed to scale the stairs

The table was almost filled with the crew by the time Simon's group had managed to scale the stairs. Inara pulled a chair out for River. Mal came tramping down the stairs with Shepherd, Wash following behind them. Everyone went quiet as the crew turned to watch them; Madeline hid against Kaylee's shoulder at the sight of Book. River looked up, reaching around and allowing Kaylee to pass Madeline to her. She stoked the small girl's hair comfortingly.

"Okay, folk and folkets," Mal said, leaning on the table as Wash and Shepherd sat down, "We have some stuff to sort out that some of you may not know about. But I think it's best to clear the air while we're all here so we don't have some people continuing to be contaminated. Now, first and foremost, we got some running problems. Wash has informed me that a lot of our power and capacity for movement has been relocated into 'nonexistent'. Kaylee, I know you've been working hard at getting us back together and I ain't trying to downplay your role. But we're in some real strife here; might be a while 'til we're back on our feet. There's a warning to y'all."

Mal straightened up and examined the faces around the table. Most of the crew were looking at him in acceptance of his words, but Inara looked worried, and Madeline was still cowering in River's arms. He sighed before continuing.

"Second thing a lot of you will have become aware of by now. Kaylee reminded me moments ago; and I decided to address it before it went too far. Many of you will be aware that our new guest appears to be somewhat afraid of our very own preacher man. Shepherd has kindly explained why this might be to me, but I think you may all need to hear it so we can moved past the suspicions and glaring and think about what we might do to help this situation. Shepherd book?" Mal turned to Book and made an upward gesture with his hand.

"Would you mind speaking you piece?"

Book rose carefully, glancing around as all eyes turned onto him. He sighed slightly before reciting again what he had told Mal. Jayne snorted at the ides of him being 'a shrink.' Inara glared at him and grasped Madeline's free hand. Relief was written all over Kaylee's face; when Book was finished she rushed to hug him. He laughed.

"That makes a few things clear," Zoe said gladly.

"They weren't lying when they said mentally disturbed," Wash joked. Heads turned his direction, some accusatory, some shocked.

"I didn't say it was their fault," He said sheepishly. Mal crossed his arms.

"Right; enough of that. This is pretty serious. We have one person on this boat currently scared of another. I'd like to hear some suggestions as to how we might help this."

"Did she hear any o' what he said?" Kaylee asked, walking over and crouching so she was eye level with Madeline. The girl wasn't looking at her, but when Kaylee touched her foot Madeline's eyes slid slowly onto her.

"Did you hear that, honey?" Kaylee asked hopefully. Madeline blinked.

"Can't tell," Madeline whispered, "fog's out. It's all entwined. Can't see when…what…. Does he lie? He lies." Kaylee's face fell.

"She can't remember," River tried to explain. Kaylee nodded.

"Course it wasn't gonna be that easy" Mal sighed, covering his face with his hands.

"How bout I aim a gun at her and preacher there jumps in front?"

"Jayne!" at least five voices burst out in rebuke.

"Just a suggestion…"

"I don't think we should have dignified your 'suggestion' with an answer!"

"Hey, when did this turn into my fault?"

"When you didn't have the sense to show respect and not let every tyen shiao duh thing you think out of your-"

"Enough!" Mal was massaging his temple, "anyone don't got a serious suggestion will kindly-"

"Mine _was _serious!"

"Jayne! Of all the jing-tzahng mei yong things you do! Just shut up!" Mal said, half angrily, half pleadingly. Jayne glowered and shrank down in his seat.

"Anyone got _any_ ideas?" Mal was leaning on the table.

"Maybe if we give it time she'll just accept him?" Wash suggested half-heartedly.

"I'd like something more present-centred." Mal sighed.

"Maybe you could give her the clothes I found," Kaylee shrugged.

"I don't know if that'd do it," Book said heavily.

"I still think-"

"We all know what you think, Jayne!" Inara hissed at him.

"But if she sees he's willing to-"

"It's not going to happen!" Mal yelled.

"Preacher?" River asked softly. Book looked round; so did Mal.

"If you'd like to come talk to her," River said, looking down at Madeline, "she might be slightly calmer if I'm here and…" River looked back at Book.

"I don't know if it'll help, but…"

"No, it's a good idea," Mal walked over and gripped her shoulders, "trust the crazy girl to come up the sensible solution." River looked over her shoulder at him and smiled.

"C'mon Shepherd, give it a go!" Mal indicated Madeline. Book looked nervous but crouched so he was Level with the girl. Madeline whimpered and clung tighter to River.

"Shh, mei-mei, it's okay," River said comfortingly. She carefully brushed Madeline's hair aside so she would be able to see. Shepherd swallowed slightly.

"Hello Madeline," he began gently. Madeline cowered at the sound of his voice. Book sighed.

"I'm sorry that I scare you," Book tried again, "I'm sorry that I was a part of it. But I want you to know that I won't hurt you. I won't take you back, I promise."

Madeline continued to stare away from him, her knuckles paling as they clung to the material of River's dress. She looked terrified. Mal sighed, pulling Book up.

"It was worth a shot. Course you never know, she mighta heard it. I guess Wash is right; we'll just have to give it time. Now before we all go, I wanna lay down a plan of action. Obviously before we can do anything, we're gonna need to get Serenity up and running; which may mean a stop at Boros. After that, I wanna find out a couple of things. Preacher, you still know where this group you were with resides?"

"I believe they're somewhere on Beaumonde, but I'm not sure. They might have moved on or disbanded; as I said I lost contact when I came on board."

"That's okay; we'll find 'em."

"Umm... why?" Wash asked, slowly raising his hand.

"For answers. I wanna know what they done to these kids and why they're after River. And if we do so, maybe Simon can help 'em. But either way, we gotta get some things straightened out."

"Why?" Inara asked, "We're fine at the moment, what's the good of contacting an alliance-hunted group just to find out some odd facts?"

Mal straightened up. "Keeps us from flying blind," He stated simply, "meeting's over."

The crew stared after him as he walked tiredly out of the room.

The next two days were relatively peaceful. Despite their dire mechanical situation, the crew of Serenity seemed even more together than they had before. Their victory in liberating Madeline from the academy and overcoming the feds had them all in high spirits. They would laugh and joke at dinner, trading blow-by-blow accounts of their battle with the feds and keeping a colourful stream of descriptions for them going. Madeline would barely speak, but laughed at Mal and Wash as they made faces at her across the table. She would hardly venture from River's side, except those times when River and Kaylee would play with her down in the cargo bay; River sitting carefully on a box holding her frame for support while she and Kaylee threw a pale ball to her. Madeline was still quite unsteady on her feet and often fell over, but Kaylee would immediately be at her side to pick her up. Her alliance uniform had been thrown out; she wore one of Jayne's t-shirts tied with a rope to make it into a dress.

Mal watched the girl carefully. He felt very protective of her; for a reason he couldn't quite place, and constantly checked in to see how she was going. He noticed that although she hardly spoke, she seemed to be able to communicate everything with her eyes, leaving him in no doubt of what she was saying or asking. While at most times of the day she seemed quite calm, she would often lapse into a fit of terror, screaming about thing that weren't there and crying for hours. Mal would watch from the sidelines as River and Kaylee would just hold her, waiting for it to subside. His soft scowl was not disapproval of the girl's actions so much as pity and anger for what was done to her. Sometimes her distress would wake him at night; a few times she had not even been crying; he had just dreamed of the horrors in her head. The disturbing thing was that the shapes and fears would subside into such emptiness that left him gasping for air before he even woke. Minutes after he would hear her scream. River seemed to be affected similarly; she would flinch at shadows but never made a sound or spoke about it. Mal was beginning to believe Simon's explanation for her current stability; being strong for the girl she saw as her little sister.

Mal wandered up to the bridge, rubbing one of his eyes tiredly. He hovered behind Wash to make his presence known.

"You said you had news for me?" he asked.

"Yeah, we're almost out of the woods," Wash said happily, altering the display on the screen before turning to Mal and gaping. "Gee, Mal, you look terrible!"

"Not sleeping well," Mal mumbled, "How much is 'almost'?"

"Well we've got movement, enough to get us to Boros to really fix ourselves up. Kaylee's gotten the engine going again, so all we really need to do is tighten a few screws on the ground and we're pretty much good!"

"Excellent," Mal said tiredly, "good job. Let me know when we get close to land; tell the others we're going down. I'll get Kaylee to make me a list of things we need."

"Can we all go off-world for a bit?" Wash asked hopefully.

"Sure, why not," Mal said, already halfway down the stairs. Wash punched his fist out triumphantly; only to fumble as the gesture knocked one of his dinosaurs loose.

"Kaylee! Where- oh," Mal had stepped into the kitchen only to find his mechanic pouring over a mixing bowl. River and Madeline were watching her; Madeline had a patch of flour covering her cheek.

"Hey captain," Kaylee looked around at Madeline, "you wanna mix it now honey?" Madeline looked up, her eyes wide and her mouth turned in a half smile.

"Okay, here you go!" Kaylee passed the spoon to her and River grasped her arm to help. Mal watched them as Kaylee walked over to him, smiling at Madeline straining to see over the rim of the bowl.

"What's going on here?" Mal asked, confused. Kaylee shrugged.

"We thought we'd try making a cake, give her something to focus on," Kaylee indicated behind her where River was guiding Madeline's rotations of the spoon.

"Huh," Mal said before returning his focus, "Good. Well, Wash just told me the plan; thought I'd come ask you what we need."

"Ah! I thought so, and I made a list!" Kaylee sped around the table and ran back to Mal, smiling.

"Here you go!" she waved the paper under his nose. Mal grabbed it from her before she could give him a paper cut in her excitement.

"Don't be doin' that, you'll tear it. Well we ain't far from planetside, and yes," he held up his hand to stop Kaylee's question, "we can all go off ship. You'll have to stick with me for a bit so we can get this all sorted."

"Where are we landing?" River asked quietly.

"Boros certified outer planet, so you be careful if you're thinkin' of venturing out. Or, more to the point, if your brother lets you." River smiled.

"He said he'd find me a chair so I could go if we landed."

"Alright, but if he says no, you listen to him." Mal said sternly, "he's just looking after you."

"I know," River smiled.

"We might take Maddy to get some proper clothes," Kaylee walked round to inspect the progress of the cake mix. "We should put this in to bake soon."

"I'll leave y'all to it," Mal retreated from the kitchen, chuckling at Kaylee giving a running commentary on the movements of the cake.


	23. Chapter 23

**a?n sorry guys this chap's a little slow; it'll have significance later I promise!**

The noise of the landing reverberated through the empty passages between Serenity's walls, adding to the anticipation already alive in the crew. At the large thud that signified success Mal hit the release button and shielded his eyes against bright sunlight as the doors seal released. The clear sky was almost white with the intensity and the think heat rushed Mal with more force than he'd expected. Wash and Zoe strode down into the cargo bay behind him, arms wrapped around each other as they joined him in examining the planet.

"We good to go?" Zoe asked. Wash looked around eagerly.

"Sure are. I just gotta go rescue my mechanic from the clutches of Maddy's eyes and we can get started. You guys got plans?"

"I wanna find a restaurant, but Zoe's afraid of food poisoning." Wash pouted. Zoe rolled her eyes.

"What, you won't eat at the core and you won't eat here. What's with that?" Mal asked incredulously. Zoe shrugged.

"I have my preferences."

"Many of them," Wash muttered. Zoe ignored him, though her stance became stiffer. Wash sighed.

"c'mon, let's see what we can dig up around here."

"Don't be comin' back with too much junk!" Mal yelled to them. Wash waved over his shoulder to signify that they had heard. A loud clattering and voices echoed and Kaylee emerged on the walkway, followed by Simon, River and Madeline. Simon was pushing a folded makeshift wheelchair in front of him.

"Kaylee!" Mal turned and called to her, "C'mon, I don't wanna be lookin' for parts all day! Y'all aren't the only ones wantin' some down time!"

"Sorry capt'n," Kaylee jumped the last two steps and smiled widely. Mal grinned at her.

"We'll follow you out," Simon pushed the centre of the chair down to straighten it. Mal watched River move gingerly to sit down.

"You sure she's good to go out?" he asked, concerned.

"She should be fine. Besides, I'm not going to make her miss an opportunity for fresh air."

"Alright," Mal said, "Book and Jayne watchin' the ship?"

"Last I checked," Kaylee said happily, locking arms with Mal.

"Let's be on our way then," Mal stepped out into the sunlight.

Madeline clung to the handle of River's chair with Simon as they walked cautiously through the town. She relied on it to guide her as her eyes were only open to slits, keeping the harsh light out. She watched the light fracture into molecular snowflakes on her eyelashes, watching the crystallized patterns change with each step she took. It had been so long since she'd seen the sunlight that the intensity hardly mattered to her. The felt it burn on her face and seep into her skin and wondered how she had lived without it. The three rounded a corner and suddenly she could open her eyes as the beating light hit her back. She saw Kaylee run up to them and smiled in greeting.

"Hey," Kaylee said breathlessly, "we're all done looking for parts, but Simon, the captain says he wants to know what medicine we lost. You gotta go find him."

"Will you keep an eye on these two?"

Kaylee shoved him away from the chair with her hip. "Already on it!" she beamed. River giggled.

"On your way!" Kaylee said teasingly. Simon fell into a mock bow.

"As you wish."

Kaylee looked down at Madeline, who was examining the town now that she was free of the sun; her mouth set in a thoughtful curiousness.

"You okay honey?" Kaylee smiled brightly. Madeline nodded slowly. Kaylee gasped her shoulder affectionately.

"Let's go find you some clothes. You up for it River?" River nodded and gripped the wheel. Kaylee guided them down the street, stopping occasionally at splintering wooden stalls to examine the merchandise. Simon caught up with them a few minutes later and they continued their slow progress. Kaylee had stopped them at a pottery filled stall when a voice sounded from the one next door.

"Madeline?"

Both Madeline and River turned. Kaylee and Simon didn't notice. An old man was sitting on a worn stool surrounded by tables of flutes. He was looking at Madeline as though he had seen a ghost. Madeline shrank back to River, who put an arm protectively around her shoulders. The man slid off his stool, limping on a false leg. River clutched Madeline tighter; behind her, Simon had noticed something was going on. He pulled Kaylee's arm and rushed to River's side.

"What's going on?" he asked, crouching to shield the two from the man's view. He glanced behind him; the man was still moving toward them. River shook her head.

"Excuse me?" the man was less than a metre away when he addressed Simon, "the younger girl; is her name Madeline?"

Kaylee's mouth was set in a worried 'o'. Simon rose and stood in front of River and Madeline, protecting them.

"So what if it is?' he asked in as steady a tone as he could manage. The man smiled slightly.

"I'm sorry if I've disturbed you, it's just…" his eyes flew down to where Madeline was peering out from behind Simon's leg, "I haven't seen her in nearly four years. Since they took her away." Simon and Kaylee exchanged glances.

"Since who took her?" Simon asked slowly.

"Well, the orphanage, of course," The man gestured as though it was the most obvious thing. "I'm sorry, did you adopt her? You look like a fantastic couple…" his eyes strayed to River, "a little young, perhaps, to have one as old as that, but…"

"She's not our daughter!" Simon said in shock before he could stop himself. The man's brow furrowed.

"My apologies. But, would you mind? I haven't seen Maddy in so long, I don't mean to interrupt your holiday, but may I say hello to her?"

Kaylee and Simon exchanged glances. River watched her brother, waiting for his decision.

"What do you think?" Kaylee asked him. Simon blinked.

"I'm not sure," he whispered, "If she doesn't remember him, it may draw attention to her. But other than that, I can't see any harm. We may even learn something. River?"

"It's up to her," she whispered, "Maddy?" Madeline didn't look up, but continued to watch the man curiously. Simon sighed.

"It's fine with us," he addressed the man before stepping aside. The old man's face lit up and he crouched down.

"Hello Madeline," he said happily, "do you remember me? Artie? Your mum used to leave you here if she was busy."

Madeline looked at him.

"Mummy?" she asked. Artie nodded.

"You remember?"

Madeline stared back at the dirt before whispering, "where's home?"

"Don't you remember?" Arite frowned and looked up at Simon, "is she alright? She seems a little…"

"She had some problems with bullying in the orphanage," Kaylee invented quickly, "made her a might shy."

"I see," Arite straightened up and River hugged Madeline tightly. Madeline gripped her arm but looked back up at Artie.

"Show me home?" she asked. The man looked to Simon and Kaylee, who nodded.

"Sure, darlin' I'll take you."

Simon and Kaylee kept up a constant stream of questions for Artie as the followed him along; both to gain information on Madeline's past life and to stop him from being able to interject with his own. Fortunately for them the man needed little prompting, he seemed to enjoy the attention and let forth a babble of words like a gossip.

"… and when it got her mother, well... Right tragedy that was. Beautiful lady. 'course Madeline was always so much like her, as I said, 't's why I recognised her today, coz of… well, where was I? All of us loved her, but not a one of us could take her in! Not much cash flow out here among us folk. We do what we can, 'course, but it gets hard at times. Well, since she had no pa to speak of the government deemed her an orphan, 's why you found her there. I don't mean to pry," he glanced sideways, "but didn't they tell you's about this when you adopted her?"

"they did, but not much of it," Simon gave hopefully. Artie accepted this easily and went on.

"so not a one of us saw anythin' of her after that. She was always a good child, shy though; not surprise she dinay fare well in that 'vironment. Brilliant kid; well, you'd know, brighter 'n anything. Never seen one like her. Not that I've look far; been here nearly all my life. Born and raised her on Boros, me pa was the first… Oops, here we are!"

Simon stared. The house consisted of one wide room with walls made up of a thin flywire and splintering boards. It was empty except for a single bed. Madeline pulled away from River and padded slowly down to it.

"there used to be more," Artie explained, "but the alliance packed up their things a week after." Simon nodded, his mouth still open. River began to roll herself to follow Madeline. She was gripping with one of the support beams that seemed to make up the doorway. River cautiously came up beside her.

"mei-mei?" she whispered. Madeline blinked.

"can't place it," she whispered, "it's there, I see it, I link… I link it but I can't place it!" she grasped the material on her chest as though looking for something.

"there should be something but there's not! Why isn't there? It's a part, supposedly, so shouldn't I feel it?" Madeline was tearing; the wet tracks already dulled with dirt from the barren landscape. River hugged her and Madeline clambered onto her lap.

"take me away," she whimpered pleadingly. River nodded; making sure she was secure before carefully slipping her arms free and wheeling back to Simon and Kaylee.

"She wants to go," River informed them quietly. Kaylee lifted Madeline into her arms and patted her back. Artie looked over pityingly.

"poor mite, must be a bit o' a shock, seeing her home like this."

"It's not mine! Madeline yelled around Kaylee's shoulder, "How can it? Nothing! Emptiness would not be caused…" Kaylee tried her hush her, looking quickly at Simon.

"we'd better…" he began, but Artie cut across him.

"what does she mean, not hers?' he asked, alarmed. "why's she babbling? Did something…"

"we have to go! Simon yelled over him. He gripped River's chair and signalled Kaylee with him. They turned and moved swiftly away, leaving Artie scratching his head.

River's chair bumped up the ramp into serenity as Simon pushed her up. Jayne watched them and punched it closed the moment they were on.

"where are the others? Kaylee asked.

" Mal's still in town, 'Nara's still on a job. Wash and Zoe came back few hours ago, what's with the rushin'?" he asked. Kaylee handed Madeline to him and helped River out of the chair.

"this is Madeline's home town," Simon panted, "and she happened to choose then to start talking."

"Aw, well it ain't her fault she's all crazified," Jayne said, swinging Madeline above his head as Zoe and Wash stepped in the room, "Is it, pumpkin?"

There was stunned silence.

"uh, Jayne?" Wash asked carefully.

"Yeah?" Jayne glared.

"Oh, so it is you? You're not suffering from multiple personality disorder?" Wash asked. Jayne gave him a false grimacing laugh. Kaylee took Madeline from him.

"I'm gonna take her to bed," she said, brushing Madeline's hair back.

"Can I come?" River asked.

"Course you can!" Kaylee smiled. She gripped River's hand and, holding Madeline in the other, helped her up to her room.

"We should probably leave as soon as possible," Simon turned to Wash, "apparently everyone here knows her, and if a rumour starts the alliance might hear it."

"good point," Zoe answered for him; Wash was still chortling at Jayne, "Inara said she'd be done within a few hours, and when the captain gets back we should pretty much have a full house. Shouldn't be long and we can get off this rock."

Mal's voice sounded through an intercom.

"hey, how loud do I have to knock for you guys to hear me? It's hot out here!" Zoe rolled her eyes.

"Jayne, let the captain in," she sighed. Jayne grumbled but obeyed. Mal stood outside, looking thoroughly annoyed.

"y'all been standin' round havin a good chinwag? I been out there for ages!" he glared at Jayne as he passed, "and you nearly made a puddle out o' me with that door!"

"don't blame me!" Jayne said grumpily.

"you're the one at the controls, who else am I going to blame?"

"I dunno, just wanted you not to blame me. Had enough of that today."

"Nice to know," Mal said sarcastically. "what's been happenin'?"

"Simon and Kaylee had a little hitch in town, recommend a quick getaway," Zoe said calmly. Mal kicked a crate.

"Fine with me, I had enough o' this burning rock. Keep an ear out for Inara, then we can skedaddle. Doc, care to fill me in?"

Inara's shuttle landed an hour later. Wash guided her in with his words before leaning back on his chair to let the captain know.

"excellent. Take us outta the world."

Wash sighed happily as he straightened up, flicking a few dials and taking one last squinting gaze at the bright sky before the ship roared to life and broke through


	24. Chapter 24

The nightmares increased

The nightmares increased. Not just for Madeline; though they were worse. Mal wasn't seeing them any more; it was as if they were too intense. But the small girl's mind was plagued by them. She woke up multiple times during the night, terrified and inconsolable. Kaylee was on constant watch; she would often find the girl tearing at her skin desperately, though they didn't know why.

River had finally broken too. The days of holding back the stream of damaged thoughts seemed to have caused them to bottleneck. She was terribly fragmented, her movements jerky and her temper fluctuating. Anger, happiness, fear; all rolled into one and she seemed to have vanished in it all. Simon was attempting to make her let go of a lamp but she seemed hardly to hear him.

"Mei-mei," he sighed for the millionth time, "Please, just put it back."

River rotated her head, her eyes unfocused as she clutched it tighter.

"It's cynical!" she yelled at him. Simon winced.

"I know…. Mei-mei, put it down!"

"Not a possibility. The air molecules do not wish to be disturbed right now, please come back at the sound of the tone, tone, noise, not quite, how to you define tone without using the word? Levels varying. Like what. How can you define what without saying what? How can you ask what what is??"

"Maybe you don't have to?" Simon asked hopefully. River glared.

"Mocking only gets you so far. Pitiful. Mocking rhymes with stocking, a useless bit of material that only succeeds in itching your legs. Mockery of us as a people beauty before brains what does it matter the minds are lost anyway. How many times have I told you I _won't change colour _when you take my coat away! It may have been a piece but at least it was mine. Now I guess it's yours, huh? You think everything's yours."

"I… what?" Simon was now thoroughly confused.

"You. You take, and you peel, and all that's left is a granule. I hate you!"

"River?" Simon's face paled.

"You heard me! I hate you!" she threw the lamp at him; it crumpled against the wall. She tried to rise but collapsed on her wounded leg. Simon ran to her side but she lashed out at him.

"Go away! I hate you!"

"River…" he said weakly, "Mei-mei, do you know what you're saying?"

"Of course I know," River said, "You, Simon Tam, are evil, malicious and selfish. I hate you." She met his eyes and spoke levelly. Simon felt like all the breath had been knocked out of him. Mal had just walked into the room at the noise, but stood shocked in the doorway. River scrambled out of Simon's reach and tried to pull herself up the stairs. He unfroze and tried to help her.

"Can't you just leave me alone?" she snarled, "You never leave me alone! I'm like your pet you parade around and everyone can examine, you take me and pull at me, and maybe I was happy! Did you think of that?" She was panting. Simon backed away.

"You don't mean that," he whispered, "you can't possibly mean that." River snorted and turned away, continuing to pull herself to the stairs. Mal came up behind Simon and gripped his shoulder.

"Let 'er go, doc," he whispered, "she's clearly not here right now. Let it go."

"She said…"

"I know", Mal said gently, "she doesn't mean it. You know she doesn't mean it," Mal looked sadly at River who had just dragged herself up the stairs.

"It's just something they did to her. Something _they _did to her. It's not River."

"Yes, and that's such a comfort," Simon whispered, "Because they can take her over entirely just like that."

"I ain't saying there's any good here," Mal said, "I'm just saying that she doesn't hate you. You may not see it, but I do. Every time she looks at you it's with such pride and gratitude. You'd never hear River saying that about you."

Simon smiled.

"I appreciate it, Mal" He said, "But I just… God I wish they'd left her alone." He crouched, hiding his head in his hands. Mal patted his back awkwardly, out of his element. He was somewhat Saved by Kaylee rushing into the room before he saw panic on her face.

"Kaylee?" He asked worriedly. Kaylee ignored him and ran straight at Simon. He looked up at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked at the sight of her dancing slightly in panic.

"It's- well-"

"Kaylee!" Simon and Mal yelled in unison. She jumped.

"River's climbing up the fence of the walkway," Kaylee blurted suddenly, "I dunno what she's…"

Kaylee didn't get to finish her sentence; Mal and Simon were already running upstairs.

"River, Mei-mei!" Simon yelled desperately as he swung himself around the corner. Mal followed behind. River was attempting to balance on the thin fence line, grasping a support pole to help. She kept trying to stand on her injured leg but it slipped. She turned at the voices behind her. Simon and Mal stayed against the other end of the walkway, unaware of her intention.

"Mei-mei," Simon said desperately, "Come down, baby please…"

"What the tyen shiao duh is going on!?" Jayne's voice floated from the cargo bay. Mal saw him stride out and look up. He whistled.

"What the guay's she doing?"

"Jayne!" Mal yelled cautiously, "You stay where you are! If she slips or so help me jumps, you'd damn better catch her!"

"I don't know if I-"

"Just do it!"

River had turned back and was staring pointedly at the floor. Simon was mouthing at her, terrified. Mal looked at him hoping he would pull himself together. When he didn't, Mal made a lunge at River's arm. She turned at exactly the wrong moment and tried to spin away from him. Her foot slipped and she spun downwards, her grip on the pole all that was keeping her from falling. Simon yelped. River pulled herself up and wrapped her toes back around the bar. She attempted to stand but slipped again and swung back against the frame. Simon gripped her hands and she screamed.

"Get off! Get off, you're burning me!" she burst into tears and writhed under his skin. Mal came and joined, scared that the movement would cause her to slip. He gripped her forearm and she wailed.

"Please stop!" she begged, "Please, it hurts!"

"Get her arm!" Mal yelled at Simon. He whirled around and spun for a few seconds before realising what Mal had said. River cried when he gripped her and without warning released her grip on the bar. Mal and Simon were dragged into a stoop over the walkway; now the only things keeping her from falling. River still scrambled to get away. Jayne was hovering below, moving back and forth with his arms outstretched like a lost duck. Mal's grip was slipping; he bit his lip in frustration.

"This isn't going to work," he growled, "we're going to have to let her drop."

"_What!?_" Simon yelled.

"Jayne!" Mal ignored Simon.

"Yeah Mal?"

"Can you see Zoe or Wash? Or even Kaylee?"

"Not currently," Jayne glanced over, "I see Preacher though."

Mal fumed inwardly. "Well get him to go find Wash and Zoe," he yelled over River, "And tell him to be quick about it, else this girl's gonna have more that just a shot leg!" He heard Jayne yell his message through. Simon was losing his grip, but seemed to have accepted Mal's judgement.

"No, but it's better'n her falling while we're not prepared," Mal said through gritted teeth. Simon nodded. River fought against them, yelling nonsense and begging them to let go. Wash and Zoe entered Mal's view without warning; Wash stood shocked at what was going on.

"You three are gonna form our net!" Mal yelled to them without preamble, "git yourselves ready; gimee a yell when y'are. Then we're gonna count to three and let her drop!"

"Mal, are you-"

"Yes, now do it!"

Zoe called them all together and they huddled for a few moments. Mal saw Jayne swing around and look behind them before shaking his head. Wash raised his hand; Zoe acknowledged him. He moved his arms in a way Mal couldn't make out, and Zoe nodded. She directed the other two with her gestures and they parted; standing in a triangle under River and grasping hands in the centre. Zoe looked up.

"Ready!" she called. Mal looked at Simon.

"It'll be okay, doc," he said quietly before raising his voice and keeping Simon's gaze.

"One!" he yelled. Simon looked down at River.

"Two!" Zoe and the others tensed. Mal drew a breath.

"Three!"

Both he and Simon released immediately. River plummeted, flailing, to the ground. She hit the three captors and they pulled together. Jayne caught her under her shoulders just in time to stop her head from jerking backwards and connecting with the metal floor. Wash and Zoe kept a tight hold on her as she was still fighting. Mal and Simon Ran down the stairs to help. They were letting her down; she was screaming at their touch, and she scampered behind one of the crates. Mal and Simon caught up with the others; Simon kept forward to River. Mal was panting.

"I take it she ain't injured then?" he asked, half laughing. Zoe pursed her lips.

"Don't think so sir, but she very nearly could have been." They watched Simon skirting the crate, kept back by River's yells.

"She could have," Mal agreed sighing, "Nice catch, you three."

"Thanks Mal," Wash said, watching Simon, "she okay?"

"Bad day," Mal sighed, "Inara still got the girl?"

"Keepin' her close, and out of trouble, which is more than I can say for us," Wash laughed, but quailed under his wife's expression. He gestured feebly to try and explain why it was funny but gave up eventually, hovering away.

"We'd best leave the doc to tend to her," Mal sighed. Zoe nodded and they turned up the steps. From the ground, Jayne waved.

"Hey, uh… can I have some help?"

River was sitting in a crouch, rocking back and forth and vomiting Gibberish. She was no longer protesting to Simon's presence so he was holding her shoulders, hoping that she knew he was there. She stared forwards, continually spilling forth a mess of words.

"…hanging out of the box like something that got carried along when the other was withdrawn and it shut on it, there's a crease and they took the needle and thread, they hold your lips together and they sew them shut and write over all you know with their tales of falsehood, it's what they want you to believe and it seeps though, always like a poison that strengths, eat a little bit every day and soon it won't effect you, no it won't effect you because it is you, you float through the liquid so slowly waiting to land on the rooftops and fill the scene like it is, still and whole and untimed so each beat is off it throws it all, your whole system all you ever took to the movies leave it in the seats for others to find there's nothing more fun than buried treasure, they hit you again and again and say words they want you to but you don't understand so it hurts more, teach your commands help them learn but there's no reward when you do there's punishment if you don't, no reward you're programmed layers of switched and wires lain bare with the smell of solder and it burns and joins you because suddenly that's all you are is something to be melted down into jewellery set in stone and there to track the sun each century tell the time because time is all there is but you can see feel smell or hear it so really is it anything to take away from the absolute nothingness it can't exist there is nothing no world no universe no existence no time. Things are like lightning they slam down like drums and bass, slamming into you it shatters and you're lost. Reboot, there's lights and people but none of them there none of them wait for you just for something each time you wake there's more they want to know so flick the lamp there's this spirit that helps fire burn but it's not a soul it's not anyone it's chemical and science and nothing pure so much is replaced so much is relied. They say it's proven that positive thinking won't help you survive well they're wrong but maybe not how can you know to each his own so difference of opinion won't really matter those words erase. Again. Truth gone, lies stay. Secrets. Bad."

River gave a shuddering sigh and rested her head on Simon's shoulder. Simon stiffened; not sure whether the fit had subsided or not until River opened her eyes again. They were red with tears and exhaustion. Simon cautiously gripped her arm but she didn't flinch.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a whisper. River shuddered again.

"Feel sick," she whimpered. Simon was alarmed at how week her voice was.

"Shh, mei-mei, it's okay." she was extremely pale even in the bright light.

"Let's just sit her for a bit until you feel better," Simon suggested, pulling her to him so she could rest her weight against his frame. She sighed, holding her stomach with one hand while the other searched for his.

"I love you," she whispered. Simon swallowed and squeezed her hand. It was like ice.

"I know, mei-mei," he kissed her forehead, "I know."

Simon didn't know whether she remembered what she'd said, but he wasn't going to remind her. She had been through enough pain for one hour.


	25. Chapter 25

"Simon

"Simon!" River called him suddenly desperately. Simon dropped what he was doing and ran to her. She was leaning over the bed in the infirmary, panting.

"What's wrong?" Simon supported her back. River moaned.

"Feel sick," she said again. Simon reached around for a bedpan without leaving her side and held it under her. River tried to slow her breathing but it kept coming in bursts. Simon rubbed her back.

"It's gone," River sighed after a while. Simon nodded and withdrew the bedpan before helping her lie back.

"I'll give you something," he whispered, rummaging in the cupboard and giving her a quick shot. River flinched slightly; a reaction that was very unlike her.

"Simon?" she asked. Simon bent down and gripped her hand.

"What is it, mei-mei?" he asked gently.

"I said something bad, didn't I?" she whispered. Simon blinked.

"Do you remember?" he asked cautiously. River curled up and shrugged.

"Some," she admitted.

"What do you remember?"

"A cynical lamp," her face twitched into a smile. Simon laughed slightly.

"Yes, you'll have to tell me the story behind that one," he chuckled. River grinned.

"What did I say that was bad?" she asked, suddenly serious. Simon looked away.

"It doesn't matter, River," he said, giving her hand a squeeze.

"Simon," River insisted quietly, giving him a stern look and poking out her lower lip.

"Its fine," Simon protested in vain, knowing that invariably his sister's pout would win out. She increased the size of her brown eyes.

"I don't want to tell you," he warned, but she continued to look expectantly at him. He sighed.

"You said… understand that I know you don't mean this. You said you were happy at the academy, and… that you hated me." River yelped, she sat bolt upright but swayed with the movement. Simon caught her shoulders. She was staring, horrified, both hands covering her mouth, breath suddenly coming in choking sobs.

"Uh-oh," Simon ran quickly to the bench, grabbing a bag and forcing her to breath into it. She was shaking in panic. He pulled her into a hug; she continued to tremble. Simon ran his hands though her hair, attempting to calm her.

"River, it's okay, I know you didn't mean it, Okay? Just relax, baby, breathe… come on, you can do it. That's it." River's shivers lessened and she withdrew from the bag. Simon let her sit straighter. She was crying, and as soon as she looked at him she threw her arms around his chest and sobbed against it.

"I'm… so… sorry… Simon!" She choked. Simon hugged her.

"It's alright," he said again, kindly and gently. Then, deciding humour was the best tact, whispered, "Remember how many times I said I hated you when you were five?"

River breathed a soft laugh and he felt her nod. Simon grinned.

"Guess this was just payback, huh?" River smiled again and wiped her eyes.

"I love you so much," she looked away, "I can't believe… oh, how could I say that?!" she was beginning to cry again. Simon gripped her a little harder; forcing her to look at him.

"Hey," he stared calmly at her, "I know you love me. I love you to. I _know it wasn't you_ who said that. Alright?" River looked away and Simon gave her a slight shake.

"Alright, mei-mei?" River nodded.

"I can't believe I'd say that," she whispered.

"You didn't," Simon said solidly. River nodded again and hugged him.

"River?" Simon asked tentatively. She straightened up and watched him. He put his hands over her cheeks and smiled.

"I want you to promise me something," he said quietly. River sniffed and nodded.

"I want you to promise that you won't let it bottle up again. Promise that if there's something you have to say or do, you just do it." River looked at him.

"Maddy-" she began, looking behind her as though the girl would be there. Simon pulled her focus back to him.

"I know mei-mei. I know you want to be strong for her. So all I'm saying is that next time, if you're with Maddy, just get up and walk away, and come find me. We'll get through it together. You can say anything to me, okay? Just don't let it overtake you like it did then." River thought for a moment before nodding.

"Maddy didn't hear me, did she?" she asked in a small voice.

"No," Simon assured her. River smiled.

"They kept hitting," she whispered, "they want you to learn without the commands what's the point when they can make you anyway so the incentive was given protect yourself any other time you'd do it but you don't understand it's too much it sounds and there's blankness and suddenly you're the gremlin out of the stories there's blood on your hands and you cry because you didn't mean it you didn't even know it and it's gone and their smiles are as wide as the hole you now feel…" River sighed. Simon hugged her.

"I think it's gone now," she muttered. Simon laughed.

"But you promise?" he asked.

"I do," River smiled. Simon pushed her hair back and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you, mei-mei."

"I'm tired," River whispered.

"I understand," Simon reached for a pillow and placed it at the head of the bed, "you sleep now. We'll go find Maddy when you wake up, sound good?"

River nodded. Her eyes were already closed.

"How's the kid?" Mal wandered into Inara's shuttle, rubbing his elbow for the exertion of holding River up. Inara sighed at him

"Don't you knock?" she asked huffily. Mal froze.

"Just checkin' is all," he said defensively. Inara looked away. Madeline was lying on the bed, a fresh set of scratches visible down her arms.

"You been watchin' her closely?" Mal asked.

"Of course I have."

"Then what's with the new bleeders?" Mal asked, pointing at Madeline.

"I said I was watching her, not that I put her in a straightjacket!" Inara snapped. Mal slid his hands into his pockets.

"Someone's a mite tense," he observed. Inara glared.

"I could leave if it's stressin' you?" he offered.

"It's fine!" Inara was pacing. Mal watched her, somewhat amused.

"See I can't help but think there's something that's makin' you antsy at my presence…" he said, waving a finger, "but I have no ideas as to what that might be… would you?" Inara blushed.

"No," she said, trying to sound confident but failing with the tremor in her voice. Mal took pity.

"I can forget the kiss if you want," he offered. Inara looked up hopefully before shaking her head.

"No, I'm sorry, it was just my silly mistake," she sighed. Mal looked around.

"Never woulda took you for one to… get caught up in the moment," he said slowly. Inara blushed.

"Nor would I."

"Guess it goes to show ya never really know a person," Mal stepped toward her.

"No, you don't," Inara breathed. Mal stepped back again.

"Anyway," he said hastily, "just came to make sure the kid's alright."

"Yes, of course," Inara snapped out of it, "well, she's pretty okay. Kaylee got her some pyjamas; she seemed to really like them. I tried to show her the others but she liked them best. They got her a coat, too, you know because she gets so cold, poor thing's so thin…"

"You're babbling," Mal commented. Inara smiled self consciously.

"Madeline must be wearing off on me," she said. Mal grinned.

"I'll be on my way," he gave a mock bow; "I'll let you know when we're close to Beaumonde."

"I appreciate it!" Inara called after him. Mal tipped a non existent hat. Inara flopped tiredly onto her bed, looking over when Madeline stirred. The girl did not wake; she was exhausted from three consecutive sleepless nights. Inara watched her for a moment, noting the contrast of the light curls against the deep red of her pillow. The reflection seemed to give Madeline's face more colour but revealed the fading scar that had eluded sight the last few days. Inara pulled the blanket over the girl's shoulders and Madeline moved to huddle further down in the blankets. Inara couldn't be sure whether it was an unconscious movement or if Madeline was merely keeping her eyes shut in hope of falling asleep. Without warning Madeline's hand made contact with hers. Inara jumped.

"Nana…" Madeline mumbled without opening her eyes. She still hadn't learnt how to say Inara's name properly.

"What's up, Bao-bay?" Inara asked. Madeline wriggled under the sheets. She tapped Inara's hand until the companion grasped it in her bigger one. The girl would be swimming in the flannelette she was wearing even if she wasn't so thin; Simon and Kaylee had been unable to find her size. Inara watched her blink a few times, the stunningly blue eyes showing more and more until they had adjusted enough to the light to open fully.

"Are you alright?" Inara asked her. Madeline gave a half nod. Her eyebrows were set in an uncertain fear.

"Did you dream something?" Inara asked. Madeline lowered her Chin/ Inara cooed sympathetically and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Is River alright?" Madeline whispered.

"She's fine, baby," Inara rubbed her arm in reassurance.

"Do you want to talk about your dream?" Inara asked gently. Madeline's eyes widened and she shook her head, looking terrified. Inara hugged her again.

"Its okay, that's okay," she said, "it was only if you wanted." Madeline small hands tightened around hers and she tensed. Inara watched her with pity, whishing dearly she could remove the terrors inside the girl's head. Inara blinked; she saw something glinting behind the collar of Madeline's pyjamas. She reached out and carefully fingered the chain.

"Can I have a look at this?" she asked. Madeline nodded. Inara followed the chain to where the remaining stump of Madeline's violin hung. A small moulded piece of wood with strings bound to prevent them from fraying. Inara carefully handed it back to Madeline, who clutched it in her small hands.

"Did you have a violin Madeline?" Inara asked her. Madeline looked up at her with her clear blue eyes, sorrow swimming in them. Inara felt her heart ache. She set the child down on the bed carefully.

"Sit here for a moment," she said kindly. Madeline drew her knees up to her chest while Inara dud into boxes and cupboards. She emerged from under the bed with a short slender box. Inara opened it briefly before coming back to sit behind Madeline.

"I started trying to learn this when I was eight; part of my training. It never really stuck. I was going to put it up on the walls when I moved here, but I guess I forgot." She smiled reminiscently and handed the box to Madeline carefully. Madeline leaned over, looking at it. Inara watched her.

"Open it," she encouraged. Madeline glanced at her before reaching out and flicking the latches. The box revealed a lid lined with red velvet; but that was not what made Madeline's heart jump.

A polished violin sat in the grandeur; the beautiful mahogany wood perfectly complimenting the shining red. Madeline was hardly aware of Inara's presence; she carefully lifted the instrument out. Madeline delicately traced the curled patterns carved into its face with a finger; ran them down the strings and marvelled at the precise shapes she had grown so attached to. She grasped the bow and measured it against her arm; it was the exact right length.

"May I play it?" she whispered. Inara beamed.

"Of course you can," Inara said, "you can have it. I'm sure it'll find a better place with you than under my bed." Madeline barely heard that last part; she lifted the instrument out with a kind of awed reverence. She plucked a few strings and twirled the knobs on the side; making sure the instrument was in tune. Inara watched her; amazed that the child could so confidently pick the notes by ear. Madeline seemed satisfied. She set the bow to one of the strings and tested the effect. The note was as clear as if it had never been put down. Inara felt her breath catch. Madeline didn't lower the bow; she paused for a moment and closed her eyes as if to gather her thoughts. Then suddenly the instrument sang.

Mal heard it floating through the halls; he looked up with such a start he hit his head. He looked around; trying to see where it was coming from. He couldn't separate one sound from the other, it all seemed to flow. He frowned slightly but found himself relaxing subconsciously. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and, uncharacteristically, smiled.

Jayne heard it, and though he hated to admit it, thought it was beautiful. He had always found it hard to appreciate beauty; to him, a person was a person. Sound was sound, objects were good, and money was great. It slowed him down to think about what was behind it. He looked up from polishing his guns as Kaylee danced into the room.

"Ain't this shiny?" she asked him as she spun. Jayne grunted. Kaylee scoffed at him and left. Jayne leant back, putting his gun down and twirling the cloth in his hands. He closed his eyes and sighed, letting the sound fill him in peace.

It woke River; she sat up happily and beamed at Simon. Her brother was staring above him as though the roof had something stuck to it.

"What's that?" he asked. River reached for her frame and slid onto the floor. She grabbed Simon's arm; he didn't resist in fear of causing her strain. River led him up the stairs to Inara's shuttle. The music was stronger here and River felt it fill her just like it used to. She and Simon rounded the corner to where Madeline sat, causing the instrument in her hand thrum with energy. River gently sat beside her, smiling at the joy she felt. She remembered her horror at the broken shard that Madeline had clutched like a lifeline before they had freed her; how heartbroken she had felt when the violin wasn't even hers. She had known it was Madeline's treasure, her heart. It was her one link to herself. River had found it hidden under the girl's bed a few days after they'd met and Madeline had woken at the sight. She looked over at Inara, who was almost crying. River leaned over and hugged her.

"Thankyou," she whispered, "you don't know what you've given her."

"I'm beginning to," Inara said quietly, blinking furiously. Kaylee had found them; she was standing in the doorway smiling. Madeline opened her eyes, caught them all staring. She carefully finished her melody and lowered the violin, looking worried.

"Oh, mei-mei, you didn't do anything wrong!" River exclaimed. She took Madeline in her arms and hugged her as tight as she could. Madeline slid her arms around River's shoulders and buried her face; her small arms grasping the material on her back.

"I miss mine," she gave a whispered sob that only River heard.

"I know, mei-mei," River tried not to cry, "but you can keep that one forever. It's right here, where you are." River put her hand over Madeline's heart. Madeline nodded, latching her legs around River as though she was afraid of getting lost.

"Nana said I could have that one," Madeline whispered. River shot another beaming smile at Inara.

"That was very nice of her," she said loudly so Inara knew that Madeline had acknowledged the offer, "what do you think about that? Do you want to keep it?"

"I still have the shoulder rest and resin in there," Inara added. Madeline turned to look at her. She nodded very slightly. Inara smiled and handed her the box.

"It's all yours, bao-bay," she said. Madeline took it timidly. River lifted it out of her hands and let go of Madeline.

"Go give Inara a thankyou hug," she whispered. Madeline looked nervous but crawled over to Inara and raised her arms. Inara hugged her and tickled her belly lightly. Madeline giggled and wriggled away. Simon was still near the door with Kaylee. She nudged him lightly.

"Isn't she amazing?"

"Yeah," Simon seemed shocked, "River never told me she did that."

"Pretty amazing," Kaylee said again. Simon shook his head.

"Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful."

Kaylee looked slyly over at him. "Why, Simon Tam, I do believe you're weeping!" she declared. Everyone in the room looked at him. River started laughing. Simon blushed.

"Well… I mean," he was gesturing feebly. Kaylee shoved him playfully.

"You big softie," she laughed. Simon was laughing now too. Inara handed him a box of tissues, a cheeky glint in her eye.

"I'm fine," Simon waved her off. River stood up; Madeline scrambled up beside her. River gripped her frame and mussed Madeline's hair slightly.

"How about we go get some food?" she asked. Madeline smiled, sticking her bottom lip out slightly. Simon watched her.

"That means yes," River informed him. Simon chuckled. He bent down and lifted the violin.

"I'll go put this away then," he sighed. Kaylee walked over to River and Madeline.

"What else are big brothers good for?" she asked playfully. River met Simon's eyes as he left.

"I can think of a few things," she said lovingly.


	26. Chapter 26

River and Madeline sat at the large table while Kaylee cut pieces of the cake they had made

River and Madeline sat at the large table while Kaylee cut pieces of the cake they had made. Madeline was staring longingly at the fragment of her violin that hung on the necklace. River lightly grasped her shoulder; Madeline looked up and let her head fall against River with a sigh. Kaylee balanced the plates on her arms and slid them down in front of the two girls. Madeline leaned forward to make sure it was safe before clumsily grasping a fork.

"Pity we don't have any cream," Kaylee sighed wistfully. Madeline looked up at her. River looked up too, but her focus was being pulled away. Kaylee smiled.

"Yeah, cream's really good with cake. You know my grand pappy, he loved cream. He'd put on a bit o' toast in the evening…"

_Lights in the eyes don't mean a thing they blur…_

River blinked; trying of focus on Kaylee's story.

"…with some blackberry jam. Then he'd get out this bowl and it was full o fluffy white…"

_The lion's head watches and guards then turns on its master when the ring was lost the circus fell…_

River pushed herself back from the table; her cake forgotten. Kaylee looked up as she grasped the frame.

"You okay River?" she asked worriedly. River managed a feeble smile.

"I'm just going to find Simon," she said quietly, fighting to keep her voice steady. Kaylee gave a concerned nod. Madeline looked questioningly up at her.

"You stay here mei-mei," River whispered to her gently. She nodded and focused back on Kaylee's story. River stumbled out of the kitchen, dropping her frame at strange angles in her unfocused state.

_The light gets lost it only shine slightly the others take it out because all that is unique will leave in the shadow of other's army lights…._

She carefully climbed down the stairs, forcing herself to watch them one foot at a time. She was relived to see Simon's back as she fumbled with her frame.

"Simon…" she called weakly to him; the other words were threatening to break through. The tripped her over, stopped her from functioning properly. Simon was running towards her. She reached out to him and he caught her arm. River held him for a moment, panting. Simon stroked her hair, whispering to her. River shook._ Come now, _she thought, just_ come out. _She choked slightly, and the words poured out of her mouth like bile.

"The storm caught we couldn't fly getting battered, the wind was less than water that flows through the simplicity, they said it was simple they spoke pain free but the sounds were lies the hope was a cardboard box without any air when all you needed to do was breathe but that was too hard; better not to better to leave but determination what good was it? There was a sight in the window that led you astray in the sunset that carried the disappearance of dolphins into thin air with the feathered land flailing under the burns of speech and knowledge that was lava that flowed through your mind each foreign! But they opened it up let the ash rise and clear but the sapling never broke through."

River gasped and swallowed, sweating as though she had a fever. Simon still held her. She breathed for a few minutes but it was coming back; she could feel it burning her throat.

"Its…" she tried to warn Simon but her words caught. He continued to hold her.

"I know, mei-mei," he whispered. River whimpered as the words forced their way out of her mouth again.

"flip off and all, perfect ten lost you were the people on show empty and waiting for approval commands the hive the queen all swollen in the berth of the harbour where we all swum in the summer was left in the desert rains are the best thing for the land but they survive there anyway why can't you why don't they let you live in the centre of the universe know everything that's what they want then to control the forces deity is reached by these means no one would pray where would the hope be? Why is everything so quiet! Why is this stillness in the sheets when the gale is blowing right through?"

Simon patted her back. River sighed shakily and leant deeper into his arms. She breathed for a few moments to fully recover.

"Thankyou," she whispered. Simon hugged her.

"Anytime, River," he said gently, "it's still worse, isn't it?" River nodded.

"Maybe you still haven't quite gotten it all out from holding it in," he mused. River leant her head against him.

"Don't like it," she said in a small voice.

"I know," Simon said, "it'll get better. I'm sure it'll get better." River straightened up and nodded slightly. She looked up at him and managed a small smile. Simon laughed and kissed her head.

"That's my girl," he said proudly, "you go join Maddy and Kaylee. Tell Kaylee I said not to corrupt you too much." River looked at him quizzically.

"I've heard stories," he winked. River giggled. She gripped her frame and conquered the stairs, more confident with only her in her head.

Bedtime had been declared less than an hour before River woke to Madeline's crying. She looked around; the girl was no longer sleeping next to her. In the darkness River could just make out a dark shape in the corner as the source of the sobs. River slid herself onto the floor, hopping over to flick the light switch. Madeline was sitting in the corner, whimpering and gouging at the skin on her arms and legs. River went to her as quickly as possible on her injured leg and tried to hold her arms, But Madeline jerked them away. She was bleeding; River saw she held the fork she had been given to eat the cake.

"Mei-mei," River said loudly, "stop it, it's okay."

"It's lost," Madeline sobbed, thwarting River's attempts to seize her arms, "I have to find it, it's buried. I have to…"

"Maddy, please," River implored her. Madeline didn't seem to know she was there; she continued to scratch at herself with the fork. River fought with her, trying to wrench it from her grasp. Madeline gave the interruptions no thought except where River caught her hands. Then she'd yell and lash out, forcing River back. River felt helpless; her injured leg was limiting her capabilities immensely. Madeline was tearing herself to pieces before her eyes and she could do nothing about it.

"Simon!" she called for help before attempting to restrain Madeline again. Madeline moved her hands out of River's grasp with unbelievable speed. River sighed, glancing behind her in case Simon had heard her call. No light shone in the hallway. She stared helplessly back at Madeline.

"Kaylee?" she tried weakly. No response. River watched Madeline carefully, waiting until the girl was distracted before lunging at her and gripping the fork. Madeline yelled; trying to pull it back to her skin, but River held firm. Madeline kicked out; her foot made contact with River's chin but River refused to let go. Madeline pulled it back and forth. River winced; the movement was bending her knee at and odd angle.

"Maddy, stop it," she begged, "please mei-mei, don't do this to yourself." Madeline released the fork; and for a moment relief flooded through River and she thought she'd finally gotten through. But Madeline lapsed back again almost immediately; scratching her legs with the small fingers and leaving a trail of torn skin. River grasped her hands; Madeline pulled away.

"Simon!" River called again, she couldn't think of what to do. She watched Madeline digging so desperately at her skin and muttering. Then something hit her. River bit her lip; she didn't want to do it. But it was better than this. While Madeline was concentrating River leaned forward; lifted her head and pressed firmly on the scar in the centre of Madeline's head. Madeline jerked and yelled; she wriggled out from under River and scuttled into the corner, looking terrified. River slumped against the wall, she was exhausted. Madeline had covered her face in her hands; she peered up carefully at River, letting only her eyes could be seen over her knees. River crawled forward and grasped her hand.

"Wuo dway-nee boo woon, boo jen," she whispered carefully. Madeline blinked; she was crying silently.

"Dahng ran," she whimpered. River pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry, mei-mei," River squeezed Madeline's hand hopefully, "you had to stop. I didn't know what else to do." Madeline sniffed but leant more against River, seeming to accept her apology. Her wounds were still oozing slightly. River shifted the girl carefully.

"We need to stop these from bleeding," She said. Madeline nodded and stood, leaving River free to grip the bed and pull herself up. Madeline grasped her hand.

"I'm sorry too," she whispered. River smiled at her as she unfolded her walking frame.

"I know mei-mei."

River guided Madeline out; rapping on the door of Simon's room until she heard him stumbling around. He slid open the door, staring around blearily.

"River?" he mumbled, "what's wrong?"

"Maddy's bleeding," River muttered. Simon pulled on a shirt and lifted the girl into his arms.

"Let's go get you fixed up," he said gently. They walked slowly into the infirmary; some nightlights were shining pale in the dark. Simon sat Madeline down on the bed before flicking the other lights. River squinted and gingerly sat on the side bench. She watched Simon examine the deep lacerations on Madeline's body.

"How did this happen?" he asked, frowning.

"She had a fork," River muttered sheepishly. She held it out for Simon to examine.

"Fantastic," he muttered, "I'll have to give her a shot of antibiotics; who knows what may have gotten into her system on this."

Madeline seemed to realise she's done something wrong; she looked down at her feet shamefully.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again. Simon covered the wounds with a steri strip.

"It's not your fault," he sighed, giving her a sad smile. Madeline continued to look miserable.

"Why were you doing this?" Simon asked her kindly. Madeline glanced up, her eyes small and brow furrowed in confusion.

"You don't know?" Simon asked her. She shook her head. Simon's face fell in pity. He carefully patched up the worst gashes before giving her a small dose of medicine. Madeline watched him intently the whole time from behind her knees. When he was finished she reached up for a hug. He complied instantly, lifting her up and bouncing her slightly. She lay her head against his chest and shut her eyes. Simon watched her; amused.

"I'd better get you to bed," he smiled. Simon turned to ask River to come, but laughed silently when he saw her curled up asleep on the bench.

"Or we could just let you stay here," he shrugged. Madeline was already asleep in his arms.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N hello; sorry me interupting again. just apologising for another slow chap; felt like doing this one becuase (correct me if i'm wrong i haven't seen some eps in ages) i realised we never really see wash speak directly to River or vice/versa. anyways enjoy :) and sorry!**

Wash locked the steering wheel and spun his seat around. He jumped up happily, clapping his hands as he trotted down the stairs. Wash hummed happily to himself as he strode down the hallway. He swung himself into the kitchen and rummaged in the cupboards, emerging with something he deemed passable as a snack. Wash had just stuck the remains into the corners of his cheeks when River stumbled into the room. She looked like she was in Pain; her face was contorted lightly and she looked as though she was concentrating hard. Wash swallowed and moved slowly.

"River, are you okay? He asked cautiously. River glanced up at him hopefully.

"Where's Simon?" he voice was strained. Wash looked on in concern.

"He's in the cargo bay with Mal sorting through the supplies." River moaned.

"That's too far," she stumbled over the words. Wash frowned. Something was definitely not right.

"Come sit down," he said gently, guiding her over and sitting her on the couch. River didn't object; she was fighting to control her breathing. Wash sat beside her, holding hr hand. She hung her head.

"It's coming," she whimpered. Wash didn't understand what she meant until she burst into speech. Wash barely knew what to do; she looked as though she was being sick but all she was doing was talking. He couldn't understand any of it even though he could make out the words. He carefully reached for her hand and she gripped it thankfully, the mass of vocal torture continued. Finally the flow stopped. River gave an involuntary shudder. She focused her eyes on the floor and took a few deep breaths before closing her eyes and sitting straight again.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"No problem," Wash said nervously, "Uh, are you alright?" River nodded.

"It's getting better again," she said. Wash chuckled slightly.

"I don't wanna know what 'worse' is then." River smiled. Wash looked down at his feet, thinking.

"Does anything help it?" he asked.

"Concentrating sometimes," River said quietly, "It helps if I'm really focused, they can't break through as easily." Wash nodded contemplatively. River fell against him lightly, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Thanks for helping me," she whispered, "it needed to come out."

"Any time," he said, "you know, my mum used to try and get me to concentrate more." River strained her eyes to watch him from her current location.

"I would never pay attention in class," Wash told her, "I would always fail tests and stuff, not that it really matters," He waved his hand dismissively.

"Anyways, one weekend Mum sat me down at the table and handed me this piece of paper. She spent about fifteen minutes teaching me how to fold it into those crane things, you know them?"

"Yes," River looked quizzically at him.

"Well she's shown me how, then she got up and said to me, 'you keep makin' them 'til I've finished dinner, else you won't get any dessert.' So naturally I did exactly that. By the time the food was up I'd made around thirty, and I hadn't even noticed my Mum hollerin' that dinner was ready." Wash was staring reminiscently at the ceiling.

"My point is," he shuffled on the couch, "and yes, I did have a point." River giggled.

"My point is that maybe it could help. Want me to teach you?" River nodded.

"I'd like that." Wash smiled.

"Lets get our origami on!" he jumped up. River giggled.

River had memorised the pattern and was sitting cross-legged on the couch surrounded by origami cranes when Kaylee and Madeline came in. Madeline wriggled out of Kaylee's arms as the Mechanic set her on the ground and stumbled over to River. River looked up when she crawled in beside her.

"Hello mei-mei," River hugged her. Madeline's eyes twinkled. She prodded one of the paper creations and looked up. River watched her.

"These are cranes," River said in response to Madeline's expression. Kaylee had come to join them. "Wash showed me how."

Madeline reached across and prodded one of the creations, looking interested. River watched her happily. Madeline's nails had been cut back to the extreme in an attempt to minimize the damage she could cause herself. Kaylee had painted them with a shining glaze as a bribe. Madeline laughed as River made one of the cranes fly around her head and perch on her nose. She playfully swatted it away.

"I thought we could go play a bit," Kaylee said, watching the two girls with a smile, "thought we might try a little hide and seek."

"You sure that's wise?" Mal had stridden into the kitchen, hastily shovelling the last contents of a deep bowl into his mouth. He dumped it in the sink and indicated Madeline with his eyes.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Kaylee looked genuinely confused. Mal rolled his eyes.

"Well, she happens to be small and easily hid, not to mention slightly skittish," Mal made his word large, as though he thought they were obvious. He indicated River.

"And, no offense darlin', but River has a certain tendency to be not so compliant when it comes to exitin' places. Takes to hollerin' and things."

Kaylee looked sheepishly up at him. "I didn't think of that."

Mal rubbed his eyes. "Fair enough. Well Wash's told me we got less'n a day to go til we make harbour, and I'd appreciate it if you two could keep her-" he nodded at Madeline, "and yourself," he looked significantly at River, "out of trouble. We're walkin' a thin enough line without docking looking for some lost kids. Dong ma?"

"Got it, captain," Kaylee said, saluting, "Negative on the hide and seek."

"Thanking you," Mal ran a finger over his mouth to rid himself of residual food. He walked up to the bridge, gently grasping River's shoulder as he went and slapped Kaylee on the back.

"Make sure you're ready for when we land," he called. Madeline watched him with interest. Kaylee sighed and fiddled with one of the paper cranes.

"Guess we'll have to think of something else," she muttered.


	28. Chapter 28

Serenity landed haphazardly; narrowly avoiding the other vessels and businesses that were crammed around the untidy dock

Serenity landed haphazardly; narrowly avoiding the other vessels and businesses that were crammed around the untidy dock. The small country was not a bustling metropolis that was typical of Beaumonde; it held instead a mass of relatively small complexes and houses surrounded by bushland that blended with the urban life. Mal gripped the control console as the ship's engines cut and the last five centimetres of ground were squashed beneath the bulk of the vessel.

"We down?" he asked Wash.

"I'd say so," Wash muttered, casting a despairing eye over his fallen dinosaur models.

"Excellent. I'm gonna go check in with Shepherd; see if he's made contact yet. You right to get the mule up and runnin'?"

"Sure thing!" Wash clicked the controls into place; checking that the dock was secure and followed Mal downstairs. They passed Simon and Kaylee and River who were fussing around Madeline, trying to make sure she was warm enough.

"Its 26 degrees out there, she'll be fine!" Mal yelled to them. Kaylee looked up indignantly, but he was gone before she could reply. Mal knocked forcefully on Book's door.

"Shepherd, you in there?" he called. He heard Shuffling around before opening the door.

"Captain," Book was beaming, "I was just about to come find you. I've waved Justin- the man in charge," he elaborated quickly as the frown creased Mal's forehead.

"Ah, good new?" Mal asked hopefully. Book nodded.

"They're still in the same place. All we have to do is head-"

"They're in the same place?" Mal repeated, "You mean after all this time they haven't moved?"

Book closed his mouth as though ridding himself of his unfinished sentence before answering.

"Justin has always thought it would be suspicious for a large group of people and equipment to be moving around too often. So far this strategy hasn't led them astray." Mal shrugged but still looked as though he thought it was foolhardy.

"What I was saying," Shepherd quickly changed Mal's focus, "was that he's agreed to meet us… you and the others I mean. I'll be able to take us there; it's not too far. Seems he heard about us breaking Madeline out; he's excited to meet you. They have a very intricate connection Mal," shepherd regarded the captain seriously; "they'll be able to get you almost any information from inside the academy."

Mal nodded and crossed his arms.

"You sure these guys are on the level?" he asked solemnly, staring Book straight in the eye.

"I am." Book said with utmost sincerity. Mal exhaled through his nostrils.

"Alright. I trust you, which means I trust them. I hope you're right."

"I am." Shepherd said simply. Mal muttered to himself as he walked away.

The cargo bay was a mess of activity. Zoe and Wash had successfully organised the quad bike so it would run with their trailer and Simon was making sure River could sit down with the wheelchair rest lightly on her. Mal watched them amusedly before clumping down the stairs; his hands resting lightly on the railings.

"We almost all set?" he asked the crowd. Kaylee swung Madeline up onto her shoulders.

"Should be," Zoe slammed the gas valve on the bike shut and straightened up. "You're ready to leave."

"And you and Jayne?"

"Wash'll come back for us once he knows the way," Zoe confirmed. Mal clapped his hands together.

"Excellent. We'll wait for Preacher to get down and then we can head. You guys gonna resupply while Wash's out?"

"Yes sir," Zoe said, smiling at Wash. Mal rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, okay. Just make sure you're concentrating when you do that," he glowered slightly. Wash looked sheepishly up.

"Shepherd!" Mal cupped his hands around his mouth in an attempt to make his voice carry, "we're waitin' on you. Mind hurryin' yourself up?"

"I'm coming!" The Shepherd's deep voice floated down. Mal glared to himself. River was gripping the edge of the trailer. Simon was in too; his arms outstretched as Kaylee passed Madeline to him. The girl found her feet and scampered over to River. She wrapped her arms around her big sister and looked up with her wide blue eyes, hiding her mouth with her arms.

"It's alright mei-mei," River hugged her; "we're only going out. I'll keep you safe." Simon gripped Kaylee's hand and helped her over. She looked up gratefully.

"Thanks," she said, pushing her hair out of her face. Simon grinned.

"That's fine," He mumbled. Kaylee smiled back and the two sat down. Mal leant against the quad bike, staring grumpily up and waiting for Book. The shepherd came down the stairs shortly after and climbed into the trailer. Madeline whimpered and moved to hide between Simon and River. Book's face fell but he did not react more for fear of frightening her further. River looked apologetically over at him while trying to comfort her. Book motioned with his hand to say it was alright. Mal slid in next to Wash.

"Great. Let's not be dawdling no more." He motioned Wash to go. Zoe waved after them as the bike roared into the town and the doors of serenity slid shut.

The quad bike pulled up on the near edge of the town; outside a crumbling shack with folded wire fencing. Wash raised his eyebrows. Mal stared. The house backed onto the bush; trees brushed at the shattered windows and hang over the roof. Broken tiles littered the front yard and the wood of the porch was rotten and holes announced its usefulness.

"Huh." Mal tilted his head as tough it would make a difference.

"Yeah…" Wash imitated his motion.

"Preacher?" Mal asked, "You sure this is the place?"

"Looks the same as it did years ago," Book said, beaming. He pushed himself up and stepped down out of the trailer; standing and looking at the house. The others sat in shock for a moment before following suit.

"So… people actually live in there?" Wash asked, crossing his arms.

"Intelligent infiltrator-type people?" Mal mused. Book looked around.

"Of course not!" Book raised his eyebrows, "not in there! The real action's out back!"

Simon gaped uncertainly. Mal looked disbelievingly at the house. Madeline hid her head against River's knee and whispered that she heard ghosts. River lifted her.

"Can't say I blame her," Kaylee muttered. Mal grunted his agreement and moved to follow Book. Simon stepped carefully over the bent wiring as Kaylee and he lifted River over in the wheelchair. She gripped the wheels looking scared. With some bumping and do overs they eventually set the chair on the ground and hurried to join the others. Book led them through the front door; pausing as Mal helped lift River over the unstable porch. The house was dark and must made the air stuffy as it hit their noses. Kaylee coughed into her sleeve. Book stopped them all halfway down the hallway; holding his hand up over his shoulder. Mal stumbled slightly.

"Pure blue sky!" Book called into the house; cupping his hands around his mouth.

"And the sun made it dark!" A voice replied.

"So that we fight," Book concluded, suddenly solemn. The group minus Book jumped slightly as a man dressed entirely in black emerged from one of the crumbling side walls.

"Derrial!" he exclaimed happily. Book was laughing and met the other man gladly; slapping him on the back in greeting.

"It's good to see you too, Mark," he said happily. The crew stood in the background; feeling slightly awkward at the reunion.

"How long's it been?" Mark was beaming.

"Long enough," Book said. Mark laughed and nodded.

"And who've you dragged in here?" Mark looked around Book's shoulder; examining the crew. Mal stood straighter and attempted to look imposing.

"Oh, uh…" Book turned to him; still smiling, "you want to introduce yourself, captain?"

"Malcolm Reynolds." Mal leant forward and held out his hand. Mark took it enthusiastically, shaking it so much that Mal nearly fell over.

"Pleasure," Mark beamed.

"Yeah," Mal withdrew his arm, "and behind me there's Kaylee, Jayne, Wash, Simon and River." The crew acknowledged themselves when Mal mentioned them; Kaylee waved slightly.

"River?" Marl asked in disbelief, "You mean… the kid who got out?"

"The one and… well, not only any more-"

"That's amazing!" Mark strode past Book and bent down til he was eye level with River.

"I'm really honoured," he said, awed. River looked puzzled.

"Uh…" Simon muttered. Mark looked up.

"You must be her brother!" he stood up and shook Simon's hand, "you're the one who got her out, right?"

"Yes…" Simon raised his eyebrows.

"Wow," Mark beamed, "that's really… wow."

"Mark?" Shepherd called, freeing River and Simon from the man's gaze, "would you mind taking us to Justin? We need to talk to him."

"Oh yeah, sure!" Mark sprung back and headed down the hall. Mal watched him.

"They all like that?" he asked Book.

"Mark's young," Book whispered as they started down the hall. Mal nodded.

"I couldn't tell," he muttered. Book chuckled slightly. The crew followed Book out of the house. The backyard was full of spiny grass and small holes as the hardened clumps of dirt had been misplaced. Madeline looked over River's shoulders, squinting at the sunlight. Mark led them across the backyard into the bush. He looked behind him with concern.

"You guys might have a bit of trouble with that chair," he said worriedly.

"We'll get it," Mal signalled Jayne and the two of them took either side of the wheelchair.

"hold on there darlin'," Mal told River. Kaylee lifted Madeline into her arms. Mal signalled Jayne and they lifted the chair onto their shoulders. The group stomped through the bush.

"We're almost there," Mark said happily. The trees suddenly gave way into a group of kaki marquees. Masses of computers and wires hummed in the small space as people tended to them and Maps hung in trees with pins dotted all around them. Printers spat out sheets of paper and a whiteboard covered in notes fluttered in the machines exhaust. Mal and Jayne placed River's chair back on the ground as they looked around. Book gestured them to keep going as they wound their way through the narrow clear paths. Mark showed them through to a relatively empty tent with only one computer and a large poster of blueprints.

"Justin?" Mark called happily, "you got visitors!"

A man rose from the computer, his hair so dark that Mal hadn't even seen him. His face was roughly shaven; small flecks of black adorned his chin. His hair fell just past his shoulders but his face was friendly.

"Book!" he exclaimed, throwing his arm around Shepherd's shoulders, "Gee it's been a long time! How've you been? Keeping out of trouble?"

"As much as possible," Book chuckled.

"Fair enough," Justin slapped him on the back and moved over the Mal.

"And you'd be Captain Reynolds?" he asked.

"That I would." Mal grinned.

"Great, great. Lovely to meet you. Now I believe you folk have some questions for me?"

"We'd be after some info, if you're willin' to share," Mal stated. Justin nodded.

"Not a problem, we'll give you what we can. But I wouldn't mind hearing your stories if'n you've got the time and the want," Justin said hopefully, "I'd love to hear some of your ventures."

"Sounds like a fair exchange," Mal held his hand out. Justin took it.

"Great."

"Simon, if you wouldn't mind stayin' with me to help with your side?" Mal asked, "Wash you can head back and get Zoe, Kaylee you wanna take the girl and keep her clam-ish?"

"I'll do what I can. We'll have fun, won't we?" she sat Madeline on her hip and smiled at her. Madeline looked at her, blinking slowly.

"River, you mind stayin' with your brother and me?"

"No," River said quietly. Mal grasped her shoulder.

"alrighty then," Mal turned back to Justin. Book sat beside River and Simon slid the breaks down on her chair. Mal watched him before the two launched into their story.


	29. Chapter 29

"Wow

"Wow."

Justin sat across from Mal, Book, Simon and River, leaning forward with his hands clamped together in his lap. He had listened so intently to their story, absorbed completely as Simon explained how River had written in code; how he had managed to slip into the academy and get her out, her condition, and when she remembered Madeline. Mal told him about the rescue, and contributed where he could to Simon's account. Justin whistled through his teeth when they finished.

"Wow." He said again, staring around the four of them. "I can't believe you guys sprung the joint. And twice for you!" He said in awe to Simon. Justin shook his head.

"I'm so sorry, River," he said quietly, "it sounds horrible. We would love to be able to do something like you guy but…" he gestured uselessly around, "we just don't have the equipment, money or manpower. We can't even afford to hire a boat to take us to capital city, let alone Osiris. All we can do is monitor, give info to others and let them do the work. We had a man on the inside for a while; he planted some false info that mucked their men. But he tried to sneak letters from the kids out; real ones, not the junk they force 'em to write. He got caught." Justin shook his head sadly.

"We're pretty helpless, way out here. But it's a safe place and none of us have ever gotten picked up by the feds." He sighed frustrated, "I just wish we could do more. Those kids… it's not fair."

"No, it's not." Mal agreed, "But y'sure ain't useless. With your info we might be able to help River and Madeline. That's definitely something', don't go fergettin' it." Justin smiled gratefully at him.

"Speaking of," He rose and tapped a few keys on the computer, "What can I do for you guys? You got any idea what type of info you could use?"

"Anything," Mal spoke, "histories, records… anything on either Madeline or River. Both if you can."

"Medical records for me if you can," Simon chimed in. Justin nodded; typing away on the computer. He hit the last button dramatically.

"Whoa, okay, this is gonna take a long time to download," He spoke to Mal over his shoulder.

"How long?" Mal asked worriedly.

"'Round about six hours. I've got you everything on 'em here; you sure you need all this?"

"It'd help," Simon affirmed.

"Okay, well you're all welcome to hang around here. We're pretty well covered here; so you can take your ease. That is, if you'd like." He looked around hopefully.

"Sure," Mal smiled at the eager man.

"Great. Just ask any of the gang if you need anything. And…" He paused, embarrassed, "excuse them if they start bombardin' you with questions; I'm sure Mark's spread the gossip to 'em all now and they'll probably be excited."

"Won't hold it against them." Mal assured.

"Thanks," Justin smiled.

"Can we go find Maddy now?" River asked quietly. Simon smiled.

"Of course, mei-mei." He released the chair and pulled her backwards, carefully manuvering the chair around the masses of computer chords.

"I'm gonna go look out for Wash'n Zoe," Mal rose, stretching. Justin was focussed back on the screen.

"I'll let you know when this is all down," He told Mal.

"Thankin' you," Mal said as he strode off. Book looked around.

"well, I might go greet some of the guys," He sighed happily.

"Thewy's be glad to see you," Justin chuckled, "I even heard Elmer say the other day he missed your sermons."

"you've got to be kidding me!" Shepherd let out his booming laugh, "you sure he hasn't been spending too much time round these computers that they're rotting his brain?"

"It's a possibility," Justin laughed.

"I might go see how strongly he sticks to that statement," Book winked.

"I'd like to see his face. Just don't torture him too much."

"I'll try."

River and Madeline sat on the edge of one of the tents where the bush snaked around the perimeter playing with pieces of bark. Kaylee had found a small stick of charcoal and the two had drawn faces on some of them. River was helping Madeline construct a house in the fork of a tree, her wheelchair skidding in the loose dirt. Madeline was placing the back with the utmost care, making sure it was precise.

"We need a bit more support under here," River told her gently, handing her a sturdy stick. Madeline examined it before crouching and reaching in to stabilize the roof.

"Good job, mei-mei," River hugged Madeline as the girl ran to her. Madeline turned; examining her work with a critical eye. Finally she seemed satisfied and sat cross legged at the base of the tree, beginning to carefully construct furniture. River watched her as she fought with the meagre length of her nails to gouge a line in each end of the bark, examining them carefully and adjusting the length until they were imperceptibly different. She carefully slid two new pieces in each rut. River watched her, amazed at the precision and detail of the creations Madeline built. They were interrupted occasionally by excited members of the underground network. River would do the talking, trying to deflect their questions to Madeline so that the girl did not feel overwhelmed or scared. She knew that they meant well but was careful to protect Madeline. Some of them would burst into tears at the sight of the two; kneeling beside River and telling her how sorry they were, and how glad they were she was okay. River tried to smile at this, but it was difficult. Thoughts were invading her mind and between them and Madeline, she had to fake a coughing fit just to vent them. She wasn't okay.

Madeline placed a carefully constructed set of chairs in the tree fork, holding them steady while they stabilized. River watched her.

"That's beautiful, Maddy," She praised. Madeline sat back on her feet, looking up and giving River a small smile.

"Very hollow," Madeline whispered, looking back at it before meeting River's eyes again, "Like me."

River was startled.

"You're not hollow, Bao-bay," she said, pushing herself closers and pulling Madeline into a hug. Madeline didn't meet her eye but stared blankly.

"I… am, I think," she muttered jerkily. River carefully turned her head so Madeline saw her.

"Mei-mei," she whispered, gently but firmly, almost crying as a mighty pain from Madeline's eyes bore into her, "You are not hollow. Okay? You are a full, living, loving person. You always will be. Do you understand that?"

Madeline stared up at River for a while before looking away.

"She understands," Madeline whispered, "she doesn't comprehend."


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N Phew, okay, never thought I'd make it to chapter thirty; this was all actually going to end when Maddy got out, but i dunno I have a tonne of trouble wrapping up stories; never seem to know how to finish them. Anyway, Big thanks to all you who've put up with me this far! (big apologies for last chap i just wanted the story to move on) this chap's been sitting in my brain for ages and yeah I'm excited, coinsidence that it's no. 30! Thanks again!!**

"There you go!" Simon and Mal were jerked from their thoughts as Justin and a young woman came in, dropping a large pile of papers on the bench beside them.

"That all?" Mal asked sleepily.

"Don't you think it's enough?" the woman pushed hair out of her face. Simon was already examining the top file.

"Might be," Mal scratched his head. The woman snorted.

"You guys mind if we dive into this?" Mal asked Justin.

"Be my guest," The man beamed, "don't envy you guys havin' to get through all this. Sorry it took that little extra time; even with six printers this took a while to come out."

"No harm done," Mal sighed. Justin nodded and turned away; motioning the woman to follow. Simon was sorting through the piles.

"I think we can pretty much separate this into two categories," Simon said tiredly, "we've got medical records and what appear to me some sort of… I guess you'd call it reports on their progress? I don't know. So I'll look into-" Simon looked up as Justin came back, carrying a large number of disks.

"There were also these," he said, "sorry, nearly forgot them. I'll leave you to it."

"Thanks," Simon watched him, "as I was saying, if I go through the medical records- no offence but I think I might understand them better."

"None taken," Mal said quickly.

"Okay. Which means you take the progress reports. If we find anything relevant; really relevant, then we let each other know."

"One flaw in your plan," Mal said thoughtfully. Simon frowned, concerned.

"What's that?"

"There ain't nothing to keep us from fallin' asleep," Mal muttered. Simon gave a small laugh before dropping a pile of papers in front of Mal.

"You sure you don't want me to go through the videos?"

"Start reading, _captain_."

_Subject Number: 2MB19D329_

_Subject Name: Madeline Amber Brooke_

"I've found Maddy's history!" Simon exclaimed happily, flicking through the bulk document.

"That's great," Mal muttered, apparently absorbed in what he was reading. Simon leaned to glance at it.

"What have you found?" he asked uncertainly.

"This," Mal prodded the paper unhelpfully. Simon sighed.

"What does it say?" Mal glanced up.

"It's about the kid. Before they took her," Mal explained, "they were contacted by some orphanage about her, she took the test and scored over 98." Simon was reading over Mal's shoulder.

"But it says they didn't want to take her, she was too young and they didn't know what their treatments might do," Mal made quotation marks in the air with his fingers at the word treatments.

"Looks like someone argued for her though. Someone called Arnold…. Brooke." Mal glanced up at Simon, who was looking shocked.

"Madeline's dad? That guy you spaced?"

"He certainly is the loving father," Mal muttered. "Says he argued for her for a long time; apparently he thought it would be good to test it on a younger mind and see the effects. Brooke seems to think that her being young would make her more impressionable and she's succumb to the 'treatments' easier. Took 'em a long time to decide," Mal said, scanning the page, "but eventually they agreed. She was only an orphan; it didn't matter if it failed." Mal's expression turned to disgust and he shoved the papers off the table. Simon leant back, alarmed. Mal was glaring out into space, his fists clenched so tightly they were turning white. He slammed them down on the wood before deflating sadly. Simon watched him.

"Let's get through these," Mal said shortly, not looking at him. Simon nodded and began flicking through Madeline's history.

Darkness had almost fallen by the time Simon had finished browsing Madeline's history. Mal heard him sigh and turned to see the doctor with his head in his hands, looking ill.

"What's wrong?" Mal asked worriedly. Simon held his hand up to say that he needed a minute. Mal nodded, concern etched on his brow as he grasped Simon's shoulder. Simon sighed shakily before sitting up and pushing his hair back.

"You feelin' alright doc?" Mal asked. Simon swallowed thickly.

"No," he shut his eyes for a moment. "Madeline… they were right about her."

"In what way?" Mal asked nervously.

"All of it. She…." Simon swallowed and tried again, "they didn't change her like they did River. With Madeline, they tried to artificially induce an advanced state of synaesthesia."

"synathwhata?" Mal asked, trying to get his head around the word. Simon looked at him.

"Um… it's like a psychological condition that everyone has. It's where the mind associates one thing with another. For example," Simon added at Mal's confused expression, "Someone might think of soap if they smell lavender, or if they eat a particular meal they might remember a certain experience."

"Oh, like every time I hear the name Claire I think of turtles?" Mal asked. Simon couldn't stop the small chuckle that escaped his throat.

"Exactly. This is amplified in a few dozen people. One man had a state of synaesthesia so great that every time he heard something he would get a taste in his mouth. Always said that the word 'Dennis' tasted like bacon. And there was another…" Simon looked like he's remembered something, "a woman would associate things with numbers and equations. That must have been what they modelled on…"

"Um… explain, please?" Mal asked. Simon looked at him.

"Sorry," he muttered sheepishly, "It says that with Madeline, they tried to induce a state so great that she would actually see everything as though it was made up of numbers. As though she could see the molecules that made up each structure, but they had been replaced with numbers. They imbedded it so deeply in her neurological network that it was like a computer code that set over everything and she would be able to process them all. She could see distance of an object, chemical classification, threat rating, velocity… all of these things. With the basic combat training they conditioned all the subjects with, she would have had so many uses to them."

"What's the 'would have' mean?" Mal asked slowly. Simon paled again.

"She was only six when they started this…" he said hoarsely, "her mind wasn't developed enough; it couldn't understand or interpret all the new signals. It couldn't understand the numbers, didn't have enough reasoning to process it."

"I thought this kid was a genius, now you're telling me she couldn't even reason properly?" Mal's brow was furrowed; he wasn't trying to be funny so much as attempt to understand.

"Her mind could reason superficially; equations and logic were easy even at that age. She was a genius, but this was so deeply wrong and her body could sense it. It rejected it and but it was locked in her brain, she couldn't get it out. For a few minutes it worked; she could see all those numbers and… but she just couldn't… she wasn't ready to handle it. With her body trying to fight her mind she was deteriorating fast. This is all within the hour," Simon added, glancing up at Mal with wide eyes as though to make sure he understood the immensity of the problem. "Her mind had to find a way to get back in harmony with her system, so it turned the signals into something that at that point she could understand."

Simon had spoken slowly, he was still holding Mal's gaze and Mal felt an involuntary shudder.

"Monsters." Simon whispered, "she saw them everywhere until the were all she could see. In a matter of seconds. She couldn't stop screaming; even when she closed her eyes they were there. She couldn't get rid of them."

Mal was beginning to feel as ill as Simon looked.

"A six year old that can only see monsters," he breathed, thinking back to his own childhood nightmares, "Ai-yah, tyen ah."

"They had to withdraw all treatment, go in again and try and undo it. But she still saw them for a long time, and they never fully went away. She was terrified. They kept conditioning her for combat and every now again would try and see if her mind would handle it more. It didn't work. She was classified as failed." Simon put a hand over his mouth.

"You're kidding me." Mal fumed. Simon shook his head sadly.

"So not only did they steal her life to treat her like a lab rat; but they then took away any purpose they had left, wasted the only life she had, by making her a _failed experiment!?_"

Simon's head had fallen into his hands again.

"That's not all." He muttered. Mal opened his mouth but stood for a moment, anger making him incapable of saying anything for a few moments.

"What else could they have done?"

"This wasn't so much what they've done _to _her so much of a product of it," Simon said carefully.

"How do you mean?" Mal frowned.

"Well… at around twelve years old, everyone starts to develop a sense of identity; self image or sense of themselves. Call it what you will. When you're six, the age Madeline was, you're pretty loose. You know you're a person, you know what you like, but you haven't really figured out much beyond that. This is why kids are so impressionable; they take things in and use the people closest to them as models and safeguards until they eventually develop into their own person. Madeline… well with what's been done to her, she's never really developed past that six year old mentality. Every part of her kind of stopped when she was taken, and because of that she lost basically everything she was. She's kind of imploded within herself because she has no grasp on who she is, and what she believes." Simon looked up at Mal, awed. "She's so loose; she really has nothing solid that is her except for her pain."

Pity was etched into Mal's features. He could hardly imagine it, not feeling like a person, hurting because of others and because you couldn't find anything that was _you _to hold onto. He'd be so lost…

"She has us now," Mal said slowly. Simon nodded.

"I don't know if we'll be able to help her though," Simon said.

"Haven't we already?" Mal said, raising his eyebrows. Simon smiled very slightly.

"I guess we have."

"Well that's something," Mal muttered.

"She must feel so empty…" Simon sighed, "Maybe that's why she tried to hurt herself."

"Why?" Mal was confused.

"She may be… looking for any way to feel human again or, possibly, even be trying to find herself. She might not understand and think… well I don't know how you'd really explain it but… looking for herself beneath the skin. I don't think she really knows what she's doing but, that could be her subconscious motive." Simon sighed.

"I can understand that," Mal said earnestly. Simon nodded.

"Me too," he sighed, rubbing his face in an attempt to be more alert. "They didn't just forget her though," he said. Mal watched him.

"They noticed that when River came, they formed a connection. After a while they decided to try and condition her with parts the same as River. They hoped that the girl's relationship would help Madeline's abilities evolve and be successful, but her mind was still too fragile."

"What ability of River's did they try to make her take on?" Mal asked worriedly.

"I don't know," Simon sighed, "It merely says 'condition 2 of subject _2RT10114D829 _River Tam mimicked and isolated.' It doesn't specify."

"Well we'd best find River's file," Mal's breath stung his hands in his weariness, "'Less there's more you need to tell me bout Maddy?"

"Not yet," Simon said, "and I hope we don't find anything else. How much can one girl handle?"


	31. Chapter 31

"Found it

"Found it."

A lamp was now the only source of light for Simon and Mal as they browsed the mass of information in front of them. Mal was attempting to pull a large pile out with his elbow facing the wrong way.

"Good," Simon was resting with his head on the papers.

"Doc," Mal said loudly. Simon grunted and lifted his head.

"What, sorry?" he asked. Mal rolled his eyes.

"I found River's file," Mal held the documents in front of Simon's face as the corners flopped over each other.

"Oh!" Simon reached for it, becoming as alert as possible in his current sleep deprived state, "Brilliant!"

"You sure you don't want to finish this up tomorrow?" Mal asked him, his words stretched as he yawned.

"No," Simon had already opened the file.

"Why?" Mal stretched. Simon rubbed his eyes.

"I just want to know what they did to her," he said sighing, "so I can help her."

"Won't be much help if ya fall asleep half way through and forget it all," Mal pointed out. Simon's eyes were already scanning the page.

"Won't happen. I have a good memory."

"No one's got that good a memory," Mal muttered.

"Just bring that light here and don't distract me," Simon said shortly.

"And what is this lowly mortal to do while you…" Mal waved his hand at the papers, "read and remember?"

"Be helpful," Simon grumbled. Mal sighed, almost too tired to tell him off. He contented himself with muttering darkly under his breath and roughly handling the pile of papers in front of him. Simon held his dignity by ignoring him.

Simon had trouble tearing his eyes from the photo of his baby sister that was trapped in the file they had uncovered. No matter how many times his eyes strayed; no matter what information he was absorbing at the time, it was like a magnet that pulled his focus smoothly back to the photo he swore was untrue. River's eyes were sunken and haunted; there was no hint of life in her stance or expression as she stared statue-like forward. Her face was like marble; white and looked as though it could barely be scratched. Simon was awed at the lifeless quality. She didn't even look like she was fighting… Simon blinked and looked away, determined to focus on anything but that image.

_Subject number: 2RT10114D829_

_Subject name: River Tam_

_Conditioning: _

_Standard combat applications (MF, P1)_

_Psychic attributes enhanced (MF.P3)_

_Mental agility enhanced (MF,P3)_

_Physical and combat potential upgraded from norm (MF,P4)_

The list seemed to go on and on. Simon was amazed at how much they had tried to change her, thinking in wonderment that now it was no surprise how different and confused she seemed. He knew she was smart; that she had an incredible capacity to retain, understand and reason, but not enough to hold all of what they had forced into her. He flicked through to the reference points; glad to be rid of the tormenting image of his sister, reading in depth records of exactly what they had done to her mind. There was so much…

"Anything interesting?" Mal grumbled from behind his elbows.

"Lots," Simon said shortly. Mal lifted his head before opening his mouth to speak, but words eluded him in the shock that came. Madeline was wandering silently between the rows of machinery, her mouth set in a wondering expression. Mal nudged Simon, who glared at him for a moment before he spotted what Mal was indicating. He stared dumbfounded. Mal decided to act.

"Hey there little one," Mal said loudly, smiling. Madeline started; she drew her arms protectively around herself. Mal slid out of his chair, kneeling beside her. She watched him carefully as he approached.

"Want help?" Simon asked quietly. Mal waved him to return to his reading.

"What you doin' up this time o' night, youngling?" he asked her, lifting her into his arms and sitting her on his arms. She curled into him.

"tower was there, so was the needle," she whispered, "but the spell was never cast, the castle didn't stop, I was never cursed but still I slept for more centuries because I followed the lights, got trapped, the prince never came for me I wasn't even there any more and the thorns grew around because instead of the prince I got the cage."

"You had a nightmare," Mal nodded as he walked her back to the tables. Simon raised his eyebrows. Madeline nodded and dropped her head onto his shoulders, her fist hiding her mouth. Mal sat back down, rocking her slightly.

"Well don't you worry, darling," he whispered, hugging her tightly, "I'm right here, and I ain't lettin' nothin' get to you while I'm here. I ain't too happy at the thought of princes coming after you either; you're too young for boyfriends, Miss." he grinned, tickling her belly slightly. Madeline giggled, her head resting against Mal's shoulder again and she closed her eyes. Mal watched her warmly; humming to her while she fell back to sleep. Simon glanced at the pair occasionally, smiling inwardly at Mal's fatherly expression.

"Hey, Doc?" Mal asked a few minutes later.

"Mmm?"

"It's not…" Mal paused, "should I be worried that I'm startin' to get what she's saying?"

"Probably," Simon muttered, amused.

"I'm serious," Mal was genuinely concerned. Simon looked up.

"I mean," Mal lowered his voice as Madeline stirred, "she can't… get inside my head or nothing, can she?"

Simon laughed out loud. Mal glared at him and nodded pointedly at where Madeline was sleeping in his arms.

"I'm not sure about that part," Simon chuckled, "Mal, it's nothing bad, alright?" he said sincerely, "it just means you care."

Mal watched the small girl's chest rise and fall evenly as her chin rested on her tiny fist. His face broke back into a smile.

"Well… if that's really all it is, let the gibberish come."

Simon snorted. Mal glared huffily.

"Well c'mon then, mister memory, what's the dirt on your sister?" Simon raised his eyebrows, looking utterly disgusted.

"Kidding," Mal muttered.

"_River's file_ is pretty intricate," Simon spoke though his teeth, "I still have a lot more to go through. I'll let you know what I can when I can. You look to your little charge there." Madeline's breaths were calm and she had the slightest of relaxed smiles on her lips. Mal's frustration melted as he watched her, happily giving the child his attention as Simon deciphered the information hidden between the thick cardboard file.

Simon made his breath whistle as he shut the file. Mal glanced at him; he had only seemed to have made it through half.

"So…" Mal asked nervously, "what's the verdict?"

"There's a lot here," Simon sighed, rubbing his face in his hands, "I think I got all the important things…"

"And?" Mal prompted.

"Well, firstly," Simon sighed again, leaning over the table, "like Madeline she'd been trained for combat, but it seems they've gone beyond that with River. I think they tried to upgrade it; looked into strengthening her and improving her physical capabilities before inlaying a tonne of combat codes she could access on command or subconsciously."

"Wow?" Mal said, unsure of how to react.

"Yeah. And I know what part of her conditioning they tried to impart to Madeline," Simon said, a hint of humour showing through in his words.

"Oh really?" Mal asked apprehensively, "what's that?"

"Tried to turn her into a psychic," Simon smiled briefly, "but don't worry, they didn't have success with Madeline, it didn't take. But they did manage it successfully in River."

"What?! You mean your sister's a reader?" Mal exclaimed in disbelief.

"Hang on," Simon muttered, "I haven't finished." Mal silently snapped his mouth shut.

"As I said, they did have success with River, but they could only get these abilities to _fully activate _in some situations. Other than that her subconscious was keeping a lock on them. She picks up some things, she can't help it. And they have the potential to develop again, but otherwise they're relatively dormant."

"So _she _can't get in my head?"

"She can," Simon said, "but she doesn't mean it, and not often. But I should probably try to do something to stop it."

"Too right," Mal muttered.

"So aside from that," Simon said quickly, directing Mal's attention back on him, "they did a lot of other bits and pieces. River is conditioned with a lesser version of Madeline's synaesthesia which she can control subconsciously, as well heightened senses such as sight, taste… they've increased her extrasensory perception and peripheral vision, along with some things I don't understand…" Simon frowned, "you know what, there's a list here. You have a look. But the difference with River compared to Madeline was that she was very solid and strong willed, so that's where a lot of her control comes from. By control I mean minimal," Simon reinforced that fact as Mal browsed the page, "and also she had a lot more of an ability to process theses changes."

"Gos se," Mal muttered, "stupid hwun dan hoe-tze duh pee-goos messing with these kids' lives." Simon nodded.

"I think that's enough for tonight," he sighed, "and it's probably time she got put into an actual bed," Simon indicated Madeline, "plus, River will be terrified if she wakes up and finds her missing."

"Fair enough," Mal stood, resting Madeline against his chest.

"I'll take her. Goodnight, doc."

"Goodnight, Captain."

**A/N yeah i know i normally do these at the top. first, huge apologies for the delay. really sorry. second, i know i didn't explain as much of river as madeline coz i have no idea what joss's plans for her were and i didn't want to... well you know so there's only a little bit on her. hope everyone's well**


	32. Chapter 32

Mal woke the next morning and wondered tiredly over to where Kaylee, River and Madeline were sleeping

Mal woke the next morning and wondered tiredly over to where Kaylee, River and Madeline were sleeping. He pulled a chair over and watched Madeline carefully, still trying to wrap his head around the information Simon had told him, and the horrors that resided in her mind.

"Sitting and staring makes everything stay the same," a voice sounded from beside him. Mal grinned widely as River sat up in her bead, her hair falling around her face.

"Hey there little one," Mal flicked her nose carefully. River grinned. She followed Mal's gaze, looking peaceful as she watched her little sister sleep.

"Didn't scream last night," River mused, "but went walkabout anyway."

"Yeah, she did," Mal sighed, "you saw her?"

"Yes," River whispered, "did you and Simon fined anything to help her?"

"Not sure, little one," Mal wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "but we'll definitely try. I promise." River nodded and hugged him.

"It wasn't only the prince," she told him seriously, "the dwarves played their part."

"Uh huh. How bout we get your little sis up and about?" Mal asked. River grinned.

"Aye captain," she giggled.

"On three?" Mal winked. River nodded, trying to stifle her giggle.

"One… two… three!"

Both Mal and River pounced on Madeline, tickling her. Madeline shrieked with laughter, wriggling to try and escape their attack. Kaylee woke up and came to her defence, rendering River speechless as she tickled her ribs. Mal picked Kaylee up, making her drop River and growling playfully, pretending to throw her. River and Madeline fell about laughing as Kaylee gave Mal a light slap, he howled playfully and span her around.

"Mercy, captain!" Kaylee managed to say in between laughter. Mal put her carefully on her feet and the two sat down beside River and Madeline, panting. Madeline watched them, her curious eyes asking them what was going to happen next. Mal pulled her into a tight hug.

"How are you today miss?" he asked. Madeline curled her lip in, grinning.

"I'll take that as a good," Mal chuckled, "I'm glad."

"How'd you and Simon go with the info, captain?" Kaylee asked.

"We had some semblance of success," Mal said, "Simon'll probably be lookin' into it more'n me, no doubt he'll come up with something to help these two."

"That's good news," Kaylee beamed, hugging River and Madeline in each arm. River smiled up at her.

"Yep," Mal rose, rubbing his hands together, "well I dunno about you folk, but I've got a hankering for some breakfast. Anyone care to join?"

"I reckon so," Kaylee stood, guiding River and Madeline with her. The group wandered off through the waking camp to find food.

"Hey there doc," Mal found Simon in the exact same spot he'd been the night before, only looking more dishevelled. The doctor moaned when Mal spoke to him, lifting his head slowly as though he had a hangover. River limped away from Kaylee and slid her arms around his neck.

"ge-ge, meadows are clear," she whispered, kissing him. Simon smiled and hugged her.

"Good morning mei-mei," he said, hugging her, "I love you."

"Loves him too," River replied. Simon laughed. Her eyes scanned the papers that littered the tables and her fingers slid carefully around the thick file Simon had been reading.

"Oh, mei-mei, you might not want to look at that-" Simon began, but River ignored him. She stood transfixed at the image that adorned the first page of her own file. Mal, Simon and Kaylee watched her silently as her face fell frozen in a pained expression that was almost unnoticeable through her shock.

"Mei-mei?" Simon asked carefully. River didn't respond. Simon carefully gripped her hands. She turned to him.

"Are you okay?" he asked her slowly. River looked away but closed the file and put it back down. She leant against the tables, breathing carefully for a moment before turning and giving him a strained smile. Simon chuckled slightly, gripping her hand and moving the papers out of her reach.

"Breakfast," Mal stated again, shuffling uncomfortably. Madeline tugged at River's arm, watching her. River reassured her with a smile.

I'll just go get you your chair," Kaylee said, backing out. She had been looking over River's shoulder as the girl examined the file and was looking slightly disturbed. Simon and Mal exchanged glances.

"You hungry, River?" Simon asked her. She nodded.

"I'll get you something," Simon rubbed his eyes.

"Maybe we should catch up with the others for breakfast," Mal suggested pointedly. Simon stared for a moment.

"Oh, right," he said, finally catching on to Mal's hint, "yes… might be nice to have breakfast together."

Simon laughed at River's knowing look and hugged her as Kaylee returned. The group made their way carefully between the machinery to find the rest of their crew.

Mal called the table to order as breakfast cleared; asking his crew to stay while the rest of the resistance personnel finished their food and hurried off to their activities. Madeline was busy with a napkin as she sat on River's lap.

"Okay people." Mal stood, pushing his chair back, "sure you're all wonderin' how we went with the info." Various affirmative gestures met his eyes.

"Well the doc's found a lot o' things on exactly what's been done to our girls," Mal began. Kaylee hugged Rivers shoulders as the crew smiled supportively at her and Madeline.

"And most of it's not somethin' we can really fix quick-smart. Doc's gonna give it his best shot, o'course, but there's no guarantees. I'm gonna step aside now, let him explain it all to ya in his fancy terms, and mayhap he can tell us summat we can do." 

Simon took the stage and explained to the crew what he could about River and Madeline's mentalities. It soon became apparent that he'd found more things overnight, giving everyone a rather unnecessary in depth description of some methods that left Kaylee and even Zoe looking more than a little pale. Mal had the urge to thump him and bring him back to his senses, but he knew it was the only way Simon's scientific mind could deal with the knowledge of what had been done to his sister. By talking about the clinically, he could fool himself into making them less real. Luckily Madeline was still involved in her own little world and didn't hear, but River was sweating slightly and her calm face was edged with stress. Mal felt sympathy pool at the bottom of his heart as he imagined the memories that must have been converging on her.

"A lot of the conditioning in Madeline is still there, she'd probably affected by it sometimes. It's present in River too, but her mind has shut it down as best it can. Madeline was a failure to the alliance, and River was their success. That's why they were after her particularly. They wanted her back so they could keep developing her." Simon spat his last sentence.

"So how can we help em?" Zoe shifted in her seat as Simon finished, trying to appear normal.

"Well," Simon sighed, "I think the most important thing at the moment is helping Madeline find herself. She can't keep harming herself and if she goes on like this… you can imagine."

"Just how are we gonna do that?" Mal asked, his arms crossed against his chest. Simon looked around.

"It's not going to be easy," he admitted, "there's really only so much we can do. We'll start with lilt things, like making her feel safe, and like she's part of the family. We need to help her build her own opinions; what she likes and what she doesn't, what she believes, what she sees as right and wrong. Help her get a self image, a sense of individualism. And most of all make her feel like a person. She's been so utterly dehumanised. All her rights were taken from her and she had no control over anything. We have to give her control back."

"Um…" Jayne raised his hand, "I don't get it."

Inara snorted scornfully.

"I mean, she knows what she likes don't she? That viomen or whatever. And she likes cake."

"There's more to life than cake," Kaylee glared, "and it's a _violin._"

"Kaylee's right," Simon explained, "she'd going to need a lot more than that, although that is a start. Also, we're going to have to be careful not to treat her too much like a toddler, she needs to learn things on her own and be allowed to make mistakes. It's going to be difficult, I know we all want to protect her," he looked pointedly at Kaylee, River and Mal, "but in the end it will be for the best."

"What about River?" Wash asked, squeezing the girl's hand, "can we do anything for her?"

Simon looked at his sister, who was still looking a little ill and wasn't meeting anyone's eyes, but at wash's question she looked hopefully at her brother.

"I don't know," he said forlornly, "I can't see any way… I'm going to try some medications when we get back to the ship. If you could just all support her while she goes through them, I think that's about all we can do."

River looked down again, her eyes glistening slightly. Kaylee hugged her tightly, letting River hide her head against her shoulder so that no one would see she was upset. Simon was standing numbly, heartbroken at the disappointment he had just caused his little sister.

"All that dehumanising stuff you said," Wash tried again, challenging Simon to do more, "that happened to River too."

"I know…" Simon trailed off.

"He's doing his best, dear," Zoe defended.

"Well we gotta help her too," Wash persisted.

"I know-" Simon said again

"We are! We've always been!"

"I'm just saying, just coz she's older and got more 'control' don't mean she's affected any less!"

"No one's saying she is! Simon's just telling us what's most important right now in a bigger picture!"

"River's part of that picture!"

"Of course she is, we all think that!"

"Little man if you don't shut up this second-"

"River's been going through it too, in case anyone's not noticed!" Wash shouted angrily.

"I know-" Simon looked as though he was about to cry. River was covering her ears and hiding her head.

"How can you accuse us of not caring about-"

"She's been dealing with it for months and all anyone ever did was yell at her to shut up!"

"People get caught on bad days!"

"We care about her!"

"I've been trying-"

"EVERYONE, STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" Mal bellowed suddenly. The entire crew stopped talking abruptly, angry faces turned toward him. Madeline was staring concernedly at River, whose sobs were now the only thing that could be heard behind her curled up form. Simon collapsed into a chair, his head falling into his hands. Kaylee and Wash turned back to furiously stare each other down. Zoe was looking shocked at her normally jovial husband's outburst.

"Now everyone just needs to step back and think about what they're saying," Mal continued calmly but forcefully, "Let there be no question that we here care about River, and that ain't gonna change soon. Doc's been doing a good job trying to help her, never let it be said otherwise. Now we're gonna all be doing what we can for _both of these girls, _and people need to accept that more time may need to be spend with Madeline. River, I'm sure you understand that, I know you ain't prone to petty jealousy and I know for a fact you wanna help Madeline more'n any of us. Keep in mind we love ya and we're still you're crew. Now everyone needs to get ready to leave, and I _don't wanna be hearin' and more arguments. _The subject's closed. Dong ma?"

Wash was still looking mutinous but rose abruptly from the table. Kaylee glared after him.

"Fahng-tzong fung-kwong duh jen," she muttered darkly after him.

"Kaylee," Mal reproved gently. She threw him a grumbling look and tried to comfort River. Mal watched everyone disperse.

"Kaylee, you go get Maddy dressed," Mal told his mechanic. Kaylee obeyed sullenly, gently telling Madeline that River would be okay. Mal went and sat beside her.

"Hey darling," he pulled her into his arms and rocked her carefully, "all that woulda been hard to hear. You can talk about it if you want. I'm here for you." Simon looked up and went to join them. He gripped River's hand.

"I'm sorry, mei-mei," he said, tearing with her, "I'm so, _so _sorry."

"Don't want to be broken," River hiccoughed, "tried to not be. Tried to look whole. Can't change it." She lifted her head, red eyes imploring Simon.

"Wanted to fit. To be normal. So stopped screaming. But the nightmares were still there and I don't… I don't want the nightmares. I don't want to be broken. I don't…" she moaned and her sobs began again. Mal caught Simon's eye.

"And… now she can't be fixed. She can't be fixed and everyone fights… and things are coming again, it's only mental but she can feel the knives like they were before. She hates it. She hates it!" River gripped Mal tightly, collapsing into misery.

"Hey, mei-mei," Simon said, his voice cracking, "I'm going to try, okay? I promise I'll try. And if… if nothing works, it doesn't matter. I'll be here; I'll take care of you. We'll still have each other. But baby, you're not broken. You're beautiful and unique, and just as whole as every body else."

She was still crying. Simon grew worried.

"River?"

She sniffed for a moment.

"Need to get this out, Simon," She gave him a reassuring smile, "been holding it… maybe… crying will ease. I'm scared." She whispered.

"I know," Simon brushed her cheek. "I am too. We can do it, though."

River nodded and dropped her head onto Simon's shoulder. Her eyes were red.

"I gotta go do captainy things," Mal said, gently placing her back in the chair, "you come get me if you need." He told River seriously. She nodded.

"Thankyou, captain." She whispered. Simon nodded his thanks too. Mal patted River's hand one last time before going to his duties.


	33. Chapter 33

Mal wandered to the area that was supposedly Justin's 'office' and found the young man talking with a few of his followers. Mal waited patiently in the background as the man finished his business.

"Mal?" he heard his name beside him and turned to find Wash looking slightly downtrodden staring at him.

"Yeah?"

"Um," Wash dropped some of his gear on a nearby table, "I just wanted to… apologise for some of the tings I said."

"Some?" Mal asked, half amused.

"Well, most," Wash gave a reluctant smile, "I was out of line and… I think I was just placing a bit of my own guilt and frustration onto all of you. I sometimes wonder why it's taken us this long to try and find something to help her, and now that I've thought of that I'm wishing I'd done something sooner."

"I conjure we're all feeling something along those lines," Mal conceded, "and you're right; you were outa place to go accusing. I'm happy to accept your apology for what it is, but I'm not the only one you gotta explain to. Some of the crew were mighty hurt by them words o' yours."

Wash nodded with a small smile. "thanks captain, I'll tend to it."

"See that you do," Mal dismissed him with a smile.

Mal watched Wash's retreating back, his smile fading slightly as raised voices rang out behind him. He tried to ignore it. Mal found his arm battered as someone rushed past him from the room in a flurry, not even bothering to apologise for knocking into him. Mal muttered to himself, swinging his head around and happily finding Justin alone. He strode in casually, hoping that whatever situation Justin was dealing with internally wouldn't effect his dealings.

"Howdy Justin," Mal greeted cheerily, "We've gotta head, but I was hoping you wouldn't min-"

"Mal!" Justin all but yelled at the sound of his voice. He pushed his hair out of his eyes nervously.

"You've got to go!"

"That's where I was going with-"

"No," Justin shook his head, sounding desperate, "I mean you've got to go _now!_"

"here was me think'n your hospitality was fair," Mal snorted, but Justin ignored him.

"Someone tipped off the feds," Justin hissed, kicking a rubbish bin and striding over to Mal, close to his face, "one of our people! I don't know who or why but our long range scanners picked them up. We got a surrender order. They're coming here."

Justin grabbed Mal's shoulders, shaking him.

"You have to go now! They'll take the kids and kill you all. Don't you realise that?"

"If you'd o' let go of me I'd be gone ten seconds ago," Mal growled, pushing Justin away from him with his mind reeling. He sprinted out of the office, finding Wash and Kaylee making slow progress in between Wash's explanations.

"you two!" Mal yelled at them, "get that mule loaded now or so help me…" He wrung his hands, deciding the truth was best. "we got feds bearin' down on our sphincter!"

Mal heard Kaylee squeal but barely spared her a thought as he ran to find Simon and River.

"And you're still getting the nightmares?"

River nodded, not meeting Simon's eye. Simon sighed, feeling frustrated with both himself and his sister.

"I should have seen," He said, "I'm sorry. But River, you _know_ you can tell me these things. You know I'll never think any less of you."

"I wanted to let you not worry," River said, her voice small, "I wanted to fit…"

"I understand why you did it, mei-mei," Simon assured her, "I just wish you'd trust that I don't consider it a chore to help you. And I know how to look after myself too."

River grinned sheepishly. "I'm silly," she whispered.

"Yes, you are," Simon laughed, "but I love you anyway."

Rive nodded. She sighed and rubbed her eyes absentmindedly.

"I don't see right sometimes either," she murmured, "sometimes its strange colours and other times its blurred and sometimes… it's like looking out the window with the tears of the sky and everything is clear but it loses shape and you can't tell what it is any more."

"There's too much in my head, Simon," she whimpered, "I can't… always unravel it and I wish I could. Too many directions. It builds up and it blocks and I can't think any more because there's just too much. I don't like what's in there. It makes me broken. I can't not… see it, fall into it because it comes up and I can't fight it. It scares me. I don't want to lose who I am, Simon," she looked at him, suddenly terrified, "I want to be me and I don't want to change. I want to go back to what I was. I wish I'd never… why did I go?"

Simon rocked her on his knee and was about to reassure her when Mal came bursting out between rows of computers. He skidded panting, looking around warily for them before spotting them.

"Get yourselves moving," he said breathlessly, "alliance are coming. Doc, grab any o' those papers you reckon you might need then we're high tailin' it. I don't wanna see anyone lagging."

Simon watched a sheet of white descend on River's face and felt at though his stomach had just fallen into his knees.

Mal was surprised to find Zoe playing with Madeline while Shepherd packed, but barely gave the odd scene a second thought. The two adults both accepted his words calmly; Zoe scooped Madeline into her arms and worked around her, knowing that the preacher couldn't. Mal hauled the crew's gear to where Wash and Kaylee were waiting agitatedly. Simon was heading their way, papers falling from his arms as attempted to carry both the files and half his sister's weight.

"Where's her chair?" Kaylee asked.

"Doesn't matter, we're leaving it," Mal dismissed, "Wash, get it fired up."

The mule roared to life as Justin came tearing out of his office.

"I'm so sorry about this," He muttered, looking beseechingly at Mal. He glanced at where Madeline was huddled against River, scared by all the activity.

"I would never of thought…" He trailed off, looking lost. Mal grasped his arm.

"T'aint your fault. There's always someone, organisation like this. I hope you understand though that we won't be coming back or wavin' you. If we make it out alive." With that, Wash hit the accelerator.

The back exit was dense with bushland; Mal had to crouch and shelter his head but that did not prevent him from receiving small slashes from passing branches. Despite Wash's lead foot bearing onto the pedal, the Mule was spluttering along under the increased weight of an extra person. Mal had to bite back the nerves and impatience growing within him; losing his temper with the crew now wasn't going to do them any good and would likely end up getting them all shot. Besides, it was beginning to clear. Mal felt relief wash through him as the dark shape of Serenity loomed like a mountain's silhouette through the trees.

"Stop," Book said suddenly sharply. Mal shot him a glance but signalled Wash to obey.

"what is it, preacher?" Mal asked him. Book signalled for his silence and Mal obeyed with barely concealed bad grace.

"voices," Book said finally, "they've got this area covered. We can't go that way."

Mal swore. "right, we got a monkey wrench in our plan. Anyone got any ideas?"

"we got some good cover here," Zoe said calmly.

"If we leave the mule we can go through the trees," Kaylee said quietly.

"They'll be expectin' that," Mal sighed.

"Might I suggest we split up?" Book said, "give them less of a target?"

"we don't have many other options," Zoe sighed. Mal cursed again.

"Right then. Preacher and Zoe, you take the kid. Zoe keep her outta book's way so she don't get panicky and put you both at risk. I'll go with River; no offence doc but I'm a lot stronger than you are and fair proficient with a firearm so I reckon I'll be able to give her some good protection. Wash you take Simon. Zoe, Wash, you two take left and right position; Me and River'll go around. If I see bullet holes in any of you, you're gonna get a beating." Mal glared at his crew, and they all accepted that that would be as sentimental as their captain got right then.

"see you all on the ship."


	34. Chapter 34

Wash had to lead Simon by the hand as the doctor kept looking back at his sister, worry marring his face

Wash had to lead Simon by the hand as the doctor kept looking back at his sister, worry marring his face. Kaylee walked behind them, looking frazzled.

"She'll be fine," Wash tried to assure him, but it didn't seem to get through. Wash pulled Simon quickly out of the way of a large tree truck.

"Simon," Wash said loudly, earning himself Simon's attention. He decided to distract the doctor with his apology.

"It's okay," Simon mumbled absently, "I appreciate that you care about her."

"Still, it wasn't fair of me to say," Wash was desperate to keep him focused. Simon nodded.

"You were just trying to..." the doc began, but yells an gunfire rang out and the trees around them shattered. Wash pulled Simon down without a thought. Simon lifted his head, trying to breathe without inhaling dust but Wash stopped him.

"Don't move," He hissed venomously. Simon obeyed. Behind them, Kaylee kept her nose to the ground.

"I swear I heard a noise," A voice complained. The two heard an indignant noise of pain.

"And now we've probably given away our position. Nice going, Einstein."

Wash turned his head to the side, barley making out two pairs of boots retreating out of his line of sight. Wash pulled himself to his feet and helped Simon up.

"We run. Now."

Zoe and Book had almost made it out of the trees; Madeline's wrist locked firmly in her hand when they heard the shots. Book watched her turn in slow motion and knew her reaction before it happened.

"Wash?" Zoe called behind her, dragging Madeline back a bit of a way before releasing her and tearing off back into the trees. Madeline fell forward with the force of her borrowed momentum and grazed her hands on the loose ground. Book leant forward to help her, but she scrambled away from him in a panic, slipping as she tried to run without direction. Shepherd's heart sank as she headed in the direction of the feds.

"Maddy!" he yelled, abandoning all caution and following the child. Madeline stumbled desperately forward, shaking when she saw him following him and trying to run fasted. She broke through the trees in a frenzy, running into a pair of marshals who had come to investigate. The terrified child backed up, trembling uncontrollably.

"Is that one of them?"

"Sure is." One of the men raised his weapon, "watch out, apparently these ones are buggers. I'm gonna take 'er down before she can leap at us."

Madeline saw the barrel of the gun aimed at her legs, felt a screaming in her head telling her to move, but she couldn't. Ice was gripping her chest, stopping her from thinking or reacting and froze every instinct in her body. Book emerged from the trees, taking in the situation with a sweeping glance. The Marshal's finger was nearly locked around the trigger. Book didn't even think about the consequences, or what might come after. He ran at Madeline as the Marshal pulled, stooped and desperate; grabbing her around the stomach and rolled, not letting her collide with the ground but straying her from the bullet's path. The lead cone whistled through the windswept material of Book's shirt, leaving a perfectly circular hole. He heard Madeline cough slightly as though winded. Book scrambled to his feet, not wanting to give the feds time to recover and ran with her in his arms to the looming bulk of Serenity. Madeline clung to him, shaking and crying in terror; but he felt her gratitude in the way she leant into him and buried her head in his shoulder.

River and Mal made slow progress, making a whole person between them with River's damaged leg and Mal expending half his effort to keep her upright.

"How you farin' there, darling," Mal asked her, his sidearm held upright freed from his holster.

"Functioning to the best of her ability," River responded breathlessly. Her eyes were bunched up in pain and she winced each time she put pressure on her leg. Mal hefted her up to give her more support.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be making pointless apologies," Mal smiled. River managed a small grin.

"We're nearly there and you can stop using some old soldier as a crutch and get one of those sturdy metal things."

"They're not as reliable," River's grin widened. Mal laughed slightly to himself.

"She's sorry," River said again.

"What'd I just tell ya?"

"Not pointless," River panted. "Wanted.., needed to say that she didn't mean to make it hard. You had calm before her. Had serenity. She came in and mucked it all up. Meddled. I didn't have the right. Didn't know you. Burden your friends and they'll go crazy with you." She smiled dreamily, "worse than the cat that changed colour so often, turning tale and cowardly. Ran for shelter, didn't think about it. So wanted to be back to herself forgot to look at what she was doing to others. Maybe she is all they say." River hung her head ashamedly. Mal lifted her suddenly over a protruding branch then stopped, forcing her to face him.

"I told you," he said gently, "stop making pointless apologies. River, you're a part of serenity and a part of my crew. I know it's been hard for you, and never once have I regretted taking you and your brother on board. Dong ma?"

River looked up into the sincerity behind his eyes, felling a weight dissolve in her stomach as she nodded.

"Now I don't wanna hear another word about it," Mal slid her arm over his shoulder again, "you start apologising needlessly, I'll give you something to be sorry for. I tell ya kid, you're getting crazier every day." He turned sharply as gunshots sounded behind them

"Everyone's okay," River told him without even glancing. Mal looked at her hopefully. She sighed.

"Simon, Kaylee and Wash are nearly there. Zoe found them. She's bleeding but it's not bad. Jayne's tending to her. Book and Maddy…" River frowned for a moment, then smiled. "They're okay too."

"You sure?" Mal's concern was evident.

"Positive," River told him firmly. Mal laughed lightly and hugged her shoulder.

"See? You got some use to ya." He said cheerily. River smiled. The two hobbled slowly along, keeping in the cover of the trees as they headed toward the safety of Serenity.

Not surprisingly; Mal and River were the last to arrive. Unfortunately the rest of the crew were not the first. They regrouped together in a small section of trees; Simon rushing to greet his sister in relief. River returned his hug and focused on Madeline who was sitting calmly in Shepherd's arms.

"Hello mei-mei," River murmured to her. Mal looked around, her moth falling open.

"Tell me I'm not hallucinating," He said to no one in particular, "because I'm pretty sure that ain't a common happening."

"You certainly ain't dreaming," Zoe said, amused, "they got here and she was there, happy as anything." Mal blinked.

"Any particular reason for this change?" he asked as Madeline reached out for River. River gripped her shoulders and lifted her into her arms obligingly, holding Simon for stability.

"Might this want to wait?" Book asked. Zoe gave Mal a pointed look.

"Fair notion. Anyone got any plans?"

"I still got grenades if ya want em," Jayne offered lazily.

"Yeah, and if I wanted to bring the rest of the feds down on us." Mal dismissed. Jayne pouted.

"We could go the good old fashion shootout," Zoe suggested. Wash looked nervous.

"We may have to take that direction," Mal accented, "but it's like to throw a little subtlety into the mix. We only got five fair shooters between us-"

"Five?" Simon asked.

"Your sister counts," Mal said, quashing argument, "and I don't got a spare firearm on me. Jayne?"

"Got four," the mercenary said easily.

"We only need two. Hand 'em to River and Preacher." Jayne grumbled but passed the weapon's over. River grasped it around Madeline, who watched the exchange with interest and reached out for it.

"Not for you," Mal said, looking slightly shocked as River let her take the weapon from her.

"Simon said not to treat her like a child," River said innocently.

"I didn't mean going that far," Simon was just as aghast. Mal grabbed the gun out of Madeline's hand.

"I ain't lettin' her going into a shootin' match," he said furiously, "I'd o' thought you'd know better!"

"She does," River said, suddenly smiling, "she just liked seeing the looks on your faces." Before Mal could react she's whipped the gun from his hands and was holding it casually again. Mal fumed at her for a minute before deflating.

"I was gonna say…" he muttered to himself. Madeline giggled.

"It really ain't that funny, miss," Mal said to her. Madeline went silent immediately.

"Oh come on you big bully," Kaylee reproved, "I knew she was kidding."

"Well I didn't," Mal sighed. "People seem to forget I'm an old man. Dunno if my heart can handle all your kidding."

Kaylee smiled. "See, there you go!" Mal nodded.

"Okay, we'll station our selves in a roughly-surrounding-them position. Jayne if you could take River and get her in a spot she can stand by herself; Zoe, take the centre, Jayne to the left and I'll join preacher to the right. Rest of you, stay here. Actually Jayne; give Wash a gun so he can keep these guys safe here."

"I don't want to do it," River said suddenly. Mal glanced at her. Jayne started muttering about cowardly crazy girls. Mal silenced him with a look.

"No problem, kiddo," he said, "you don't gotta do it then. Give Jayne the gun now and we'll be off."

River handed it back to Jayne carefully. Simon watched her as the others disappeared.

"Are you okay, mei-mei?" he asked her. She shook her head, handing Madeline to Kaylee.

"Don't want to kill anyone else," she said quietly. Simon was thrown.

"You mean when you shot those men to help Kaylee?" he asked, and the look of confusion he received confirmed his theory that she hadn't known what was going on. She shook off his odd words.

"Don't make me say," She shut her eyes tightly, "just don't want to."

"Alright, mei-mei," Simon sat her down, "I'm here if you want."

Madeline escaped Kaylee's embrace and crawled into River's lap. River smiled and hugged her. Kaylee knelt beside Simon and stroked River's hair. Behind them, shots and yells were roaring in a mess of sound.

"Hey," Wash looked over, "Can I get in on the love?"


	35. Chapter 35

Mal, Zoe, Book and Jayne managed to take down the federal guard with relative ease

Mal, Zoe, Book and Jayne managed to take down the federal guard with relative ease. Jayne tucked his gun back in its holster with satisfaction. Mal sighed, wishing he could have stayed like River.

"Zoe, preacher, go ahead and get her warmed up." He said heavily, "I'll grab the others and we can get out atoms off this rock." Zoe nodded dutifully and started off. Book followed. Jayne complained grumpily about having to accompany Mal.

"I need a break," he said angrily.

"And you can have one when we're all safe on board," Mal gritted his teeth in frustration. Jayne continued to mutter.

"Can't I just go back? It's been a long day."

"And it's likely to be longer if you don't shut up." Mal muttered. He pushed stray branches out of his path and found the rest of his crew looking utterly relaxed, sitting in a bunch. Mal was stumped for a moment.

"You folk wanna head home or are you happy to sit around all day?" He asked. The remainder of his crew noticed him then and shuffled at varying speed to their feet. He watched the meddled assortment; the doc in his fancy vests, River in her long dresses and lacy overcoat, Kaylee in her well worn overalls with Madeline in her arms, Wash and his dirt-covered Hawaiian shirts; and felt like he was looking at his family.

The metal walls of Serenity had preserved a cool environment that burned River's cheeks when she stepped inside. She felt weights dissolve from her stomach as the familiar humming filled her ears. They weren't all gone, she could still feel unease settling there, but being home definitely made a difference. She brushed the scarred metal lightly with her fingertips as she went along, straining Simon while he held her upright. Book and Zoe met the weary group at the door; Zoe reached for her husband's arm and gripped it tightly. Mal sighed as the group came together again, standing in the cargo bay happily.

"Wash, you mind takin' the wheel and getting us off this rock?" Mal asked him. Wash nodded, kissing Zoe and pulling himself free. Simon sat River on a box and ran to get her frame. The crew felt the floor tremble under their feet and the legs of serenity contracted with a scraping protest. Without further ado they were slicing through the air, leaving gravity behind them as they soared into orbit.

Everyone that didn't have pressing issues took their ease in the kitchen, exhausted after the panic of the morning and excessive nerves that had built up during their escape. Mal slid into his favourite spot at the table, sighing slightly and leaning back with closed eyes. Madeline lay across River's lap, not even flinching at the fact that shepherd sat beside them. Simon had Kaylee in a hug as she rested her head tiredly on his shoulder. Mal took a swig of air.

"So preacher, you gonna tell us why you've got that kid all un-afeared?" he asked lazily, taking his time now that there was no imminent threat. Jayne was pouring himself a beaker of strong smelling liquid.

"Pretty simple really," Book sighed. River watched him. "Zoe went after Wash when she heard the gunfire. Maddy got scared; she didn't know if she was mean to follow Zoe and she didn't want to be near me, so she started running towards the feds. One of them was going to shoot her; and I think she was terrified because she wouldn't move. I managed to get her out of the way." He finished simply. Mal nodded in acceptance.

"Told you my plan woulda worked!" Jayne burst out suddenly. Everyone stared at him.

"Be that as it may-" Mal began.

"No, come on!" Jayne was incredulous, "Jayne says it, it's crude and insensible or whatever. Jayne gets yelled at. It happens, everyone thinks it's shiny! Someone tell me if there's a fairness to that, 'cause I sure ain't seein' it if there is!"

The mercenary was fuming.

"You done?" Mal asked him, raising his eyebrows. Jayne glared.

"Yes, it worked," Mal said slowly, "and even if you'd had case studies to prove it wouldn't result in corpses, I still woulda said no, because I ain't puttin' the health of my crewmates in a less than safe situation. In the circumstances that were put to us, we can at least accept that something good came of it. Otherwise, I'd a preferred Madeline not get a potentially lethal weapon aimed at her!"

Jayne deflated.

"Can I at least have it acknowledged-?"

"Fine, you were right." Mal sighed, "Happy?"

"Marginally," Jayne grumbled. River watched them, amused. Jayne downed the rest of his drink with a gulp and stumped out of the room.

"I'll be in my bunk!" he called. Mal watched his retreating back, half amused. Kaylee was laughing and Simon watched with an attempt at impassiveness. He sighed as he rose.

"Zoe, you want me to put a bandage on that?" he asked, nodding towards Zoe's grazed arm.

"I should be fine," She said bravely.

"You sure? I'm going there anyway; I need to put these files away." Simon gave her the opportunity to save face. Zoe shrugged.

"If you think it's be best."

They left the kitchen. River tickled Maddy's nose, causing her to lift her head off River's lap and she pulled herself up on the frame.Mal watched her.

"You all shiny, Darlin?" he asked.

"I'm going to go to bed," River smiled tiredly, "Mei-mei, wanna come?"

Madeline smiled, swinging her legs off the couch and gripping River's hand. The two girls moved slowly off. Kaylee was almost falling asleep herself on the couch. Mal and shepherd glanced at each other, chuckling slightly at the eye contact. Mal stood.

"I've got a notion everyone's gonna be taking it easy today," Mal told him, "have a rest yourself, or try not to wake the others. Whatever you feel like persuin'. I got no notions as to where we're headed next; probably find a job or some such, so, hopefully we won't be worrying much bout feds."

Book nodded.

"You don't have a plan," he stated. Mal smiled.

"Nope, but I got a ship and crew. That's all I need."

Book laughed. "I'm not surprised. Goodnight, Mal."

"Preacher," Mal responded, heading up to his quarters to contact potential business partners.

Simon didn't watch Zoe leave the room; he knew she wouldn't appreciate it. He'd compensated by making her do some exercises to make sure the bandage held, fairly confident. Zoe had been relieved when he cleaned it up and told her it wasn't bad, but she tried not to show her.

Simon focused on the files he'd stashed under his shirt while they'd escaped and absently reached for the few tapes he'd smuggled into his pocket. He let out a disappointed noise has he saw that two of the five had been snapped. Simon threw them angrily into the rubbish. He fell onto his elbows, letting his head rest in his hand a moment before pushing the hair tiredly out of his eyes and browsing the files. He determinedly picked up River's; deciding then and there he would go though it all if it meant finding something to help his baby sister.

_The lights were shiny directly in her eyes, refracting small patches that contributed to obscuring her visibility. They leaned under them in their sterile white uniform, making them seem even paler and preventing her from seeing the sharp object in their hands. River wasn't asleep, but she couldn't be classified as awake either. She could only move her head, and it rolled too fast as the muscles in her neck refused to work. It was then she was aware of the object; not because she saw it but because she felt it slice into her skin. The sandpaper sensation on her throat and the stain on her windpipe told River she was screaming, but she could here nothing but a small ringing as the metallic scent of blood lulled her into a horrible sleep. _

River let out a choking scream that cut off immediately as she jerked awake. She bit her lip hard, teeth marks creating indents as she froze, wondering if anyone had heard. She had enforced her barriers almost immediately, knowing that Madeline could here her without words but not wanting to share this with her. She looked apprehensively at her mei-mei, pleased to find her protections had worked, and Madeline was still sounds asleep. She let her head fall frustrated against the wall, letting out a disappointed sigh. River Jumped as the door of her room flew open.

"River!" Simon called worriedly.

"Shh," River rebuked, "you'll wake her."

Simon looked down at Madeline, who had stirred slightly at the noise.

"Sorry," He whispered, stepping over her and sitting carefully on the end of River's bed.

"I thought I heard a noise," Simon explained himself, "Did you have another nightmare?"

River absentmindedly scratched her head where a scalpel scar was visible beneath her hair.

"Not important," she whispered, not meeting Simon's eyes. Simon sighed.

"River," He implored, pulling her toward him into a hug, "Don't do that."

River sighed and gripped him tightly. "They were cutting me," she whispered, felling colour drain from her face. Simon hugged her tighter and ran his fingers though her hair.

"I'm sorry," he kissed the top of her head, feeling as though the phrase was becoming meaningless.

"They don't let you sleep," River clung to him, "when they cut. Bad for what they're doing. Feel it, muscle parting with muscle because blood wants to run free…" she shuddered. "I wondered if I had any left."

Simon was horror struck with what she was telling him.

"They'd have to let you sleep," he said, more to himself, "without anaesthetic, you're blood pressure would go up and you'd bleed out…"

"I wondered if I had any left," River said again. Simon looked at her.

"Oh, Mei-mei," he pulled her onto his knees and cradled her like a child, "I'm so, _so sorry!_"

"Not his fault," River said, a small smile on her lips as she leant into the security of Simon, "He worries too much."

"He worries just the right amount," Simon laughed slightly, amazed at her spirit, "I wish I could take it all away for you," he sighed. River sighed.

"You do."


	36. Chapter 36

Kaylee peeked around the corner of the infirmary, cupping a steaming mug in her hands

Kaylee peeked around the corner of the infirmary, cupping a steaming mug in her hands. Simon was sitting on a large chair, leaning over the side bench concentrating hard. Kaylee smiled slightly to herself as she walked in; trying to think of a way to make her presence known without startling him.

"Simon?" she asked softly. It didn't work; Simon shuddered and leapt about five feet into the air.

"Sorry," Kaylee said sheepishly, "didn't mean to…"

"That's fine," Simon said, flustered, "My own fault."

"How's it going? Looks like a lot to get through."

"It is," Simon sighed, "but if I find something, well, it'll be worth it."

"Sure will," Kaylee said brightly, "I brought you some tea, help you stay alert."

"It'll probably put me to sleep," Simon laughed, "but thanks, I appreciate it."

"Any time," Kaylee grinned. "S'getting late though, you should probably thin about sleeping soon. You ain't had much of late."

"I'll think about it," Simon assured her, sipping at the steaming liquid. Kaylee took it as a dismissal.

"I'll see you in the morn then," she said, turning and exiting the room with a smile. Simon watched her back until it was out of site, and grinned to himself as he turned back to his papers.

The morning came with much disapproval from the crew of Serenity, many of whom would have been happy to sleep for hours more. They slowly made their way to the kitchen in varying degrees of wakefulness, acknowledging each other with nods or grunts until sustenance had entered their systems. Mal rubbed his face with a sigh trying to remember what he was doing.

"You shiny, captain?" Zoe asked him.

"Yeah," Mal grunted, "got in contact with badger last night; he's happy to unload the goods for us and set us up with more work. We're due on Persephone in three days. 'Nara, we'll be there less'n a day so, make your arrangements or don't as you see to."

"Thankyou," Inara smiled at him and glided off to her shuttle. Mal watched her.

"You sure badger isn't gonna skunk out on us again?" Zoe asked, standing over Mal and reclaiming his attention.

"No, I ain't," Mal said irritably, "but he might be less inclines to if we get there on time." He looked pointedly at Wash, who was still leaning over a bowl of sloppy protein.

"I'm getting there," Wash mumbled sleepily.

"Well get there faster," Mal said, pushing his chair back and striding out of the kitchen.

"Knock knock."

"It doesn't count if you say it," Inara said without around, "or if you come in anyway."

"Good point that. I'll keep it in mind for next time." Mal grinned. Inara sighed.

"Was there something specific you wanted?" she asked.

"Merely to check on your general state of wellbeing," Mal said casually, "there've been some unexpected and tense moments in the past few-"

"I already said I didn't mean to kiss you," Inara snapped. Mal blinked.

"I was referin' to the whole runnin' from beumonde and getting near caught by the feds in the dead of the black thing," he said, surprised, "I wanted to make sure you weren't upset or hurt by any of the goings-on"

"Oh," Inara blushed, "yes… I mean, no. I'm not hurt or upset… by them."

"Good," Mal was still frowning.

"Yes," Inara said firmly, implications riddled in her voice. Mal took them.

"I'll speak to you later then," he backed out of the room. Inara slouched with a sigh.

"So you haven't actually forgotten it?"

"Mal!" she spun, on the verge of slapping him.

"Right, going…"

"Simon?"

The papers had become widely spread around the infirmary; only the treatment table had been left untouched. Rows of type were rendered meaningless in the drabble. Simon looked up at the timid call, unsurprised to find River standing in the doorway.

"Hello, mei-mei," he rose, embracing her gently, "Where's Maddy?"

"I asked Kaylee to watch her," River seemed apprehensive, "needed to talk to you."

"Are you… do you need to say things?" Simon asked her, leading her over and sitting her on his chair. River shook her head.

"What is it, River?" he asked her kindly, hoping she'd feel safe enough to answer.

"I just wondered…" she began, but stopped and looked away.

"Mei-mei?" Simon asked her to continue.

"Do I… do I complain, Simon?"

Simon was once again hit with shock from her words. In his moment to respond River had turned back to face him, moisture in the edge of her eyes.

"What's making you say this?" Simon asked, trying to understand exactly what she meant. River shrugged.

"Come on, Mei- Mei," Simon urged her, "tell me what the missing value is." River smiled slightly at his analogy.

"I just thought…" she took a deep breath, "that, well… I'm sacred a lot, and I hurt and… I tell you because I feel like I want to. It makes me feel better. But I'm scared of things and I make it hard for you, because they made me scared and hurt and… then I think that Maddy was there longer… and I feel like I don't have the right to feel scared or hurt and tell you, not when people are worse off."

"Is this why you don't like to say things around Madeline?" Simon asked, "You feel like you shouldn't 'be complaining'?" River wrinkled her nose.

"No," she said, "I know Maddy doesn't think that… but I do," she finished somewhat sheepishly.

"Come here," Simon hugged her; she leant sadly into his arms.

"Baby, you're allowed to feel scared. You have _every right _to feel like this, and to tell me. It doesn't matter if there were any number of people who were ten times worse off than you; which I'd just like to point out isn't likely; this is real to_ you, _and that's what matters. I want you to tell me, I'm glad it makes you feel better and you _never _have to feel guilty for being scared. Okay?"

"But Maddy's worse-"

"Mei-mei," Simon said gently, "I've been reading things, and I can tell you… they stopped treating Madeline for a long time. She was still there, but they weren't doing anything to her."

River stared at him.

"I mean, they did, but very rarely," Simon explained, "think about it. See if you can remember… didn't they take her less than you?"

River looked at her feet, droplets still falling from her eyes but Simon could see she was mulling his words.

"Yes," she whispered finally.

"Yeah… so you don't have to feel guilty, mei-mei. Never feel guilty." He hugged her tightly again. "Thankyou for telling me," he whispered to her. River smiled.

"Thank you, ge-ge," she hugged him back.

Inara stepped out of her shuttle only to find Mal walking toward her on the walkway.

"Are you stalking me?" she asked, exasperated.

"You flatter yourself," Mal said dismissively, coming opposite her, "I got myself more important tasks." He grinned for a second, "that is, 'less you want me to."

Inara gritted her teeth.

"Now who's flattering themselves?" she asked coldly. Mal grinned even wider.

"C'mon, Inara. Ain't no use getting all angry and fighting coz of one supposed mistake. Besides, I'm just having fun with ya."

Inara groaned. "You're never going to let me forget it, are you?"

"I might let you," Mal said seriously, "but I never want to. And since you're the one getting snappy with me, so I ain't rightly sure you want to either."

He winked, and strode off. Inara stood open mouthed at the entrance of her shuttle, fuming, only because she knew he was right.


	37. Chapter 37

Things ran smoothly aboard and abroad for Serenity

Things ran smoothly aboard and abroad for Serenity. Mal made a solid deal with badger, dumping the goods in his none-too-capable hands in exchange for cashy money, while securing their next venture all in the one visit. Mal had only been slightly surprised when Inara had not made appointments, and accepted generously her excuse of there being 'not enough time.' Many comments had been fighting to escape his mouth, centring on the theory that not many could go for a whole day, but he valiantly fought them back. He, Jayne and Zoe made their way back to the docks; Mal's pocket jingling and his gait light and confident. The doors of serenity opened to receive them and he stepped happily into the wide cargo bay. Madeline, River and Kaylee were calmly playing coits in the centre of the room. River glanced up and waved.

"Nice to see you too, little one," Mal came and sat beside her, "what's going on here?"

"Maddy and Kaylee are playing for the championship," River explained seriously. Mal widened his eyes.

"Well ain't that an interest," He muttered, watching Kaylee lining up the shot, tongue between her teeth. With a victorious glint in her eye she pulled her arm back and flung it at the pole. The front of the ring hit it and bounced backward.

"Gos se!" Kaylee exclaimed in disappointment. Madeline giggled at the outburst as Kaylee covered her mouth apologetically.

"Here was me thinkin' this was a friendly game," Mal whispered cheekily to River who grinned but gave him a reproachful look.

"She feels bad enough already," River whispered to him under the cover of Kaylee's apologies.

"Go on, you're turn," Mal reached over River and tapped Madeline's overhanging toes. She hopped off the crate and walked to the centre of the hold. She picked up the ring and scampered back to the throw line. She stood with the ring loosely by her side, head tilted as she examined the area. Without warning she flicked her wrist and the ring sailed through the air to land smoothly on the pole. Madeline jumped and clapped and ran back to River. Kaylee and River rushed in to praise her. Mal patted her back lightly before rising and heading up the stairs, musing.

Simon had been right that treating her with care and giving her freedom would help her; the girl had improved unbelievably in the past days. She would speak more often, walk happily without holding onto River and interact frequently with every crew member. Mal had even seen her start to smile for no reason. And, he mused; she's learning to use what they did to her, if that shot was anything to go by. Mal shook his head, half happy to see Madeline developing so well but wrought with helplessness as he saw River being left behind. He stopped for a moment, watching the three girls talk but noting the weariness in River's features. The girl embraced her little sister, squeezing her until Madeline protested playfully and wriggled out of her arms. Mal chuckled to himself.

"They're cute together, aren't they?" Inara's voice floated from behind him, "Like a family."

Mal watched her until she stood behind him, when he turned his attention back to the happy group.

"Very much so," he agreed. Inara smiled.

"I uh… came down to apologise," Inara said, trying to maintain her composure by not looking at Mal.

"No need, I wasn't holding a grudge," Mal told her gently. Inara smiled at her feet.

"Do you ever?"

"There have been instances," Mal grinned.

"I'm sure," Inara laughed. She sneaked a look at his face while he was focused on the small gathering below.

"You're right," She told him, causing him to look round, "I don't want to forget."

"That's some fine truth," Mal smiled genuinely, holding her gaze, "let me know if you ever need a refresher." Inara laughed.

"I'm good for the moment, thank you. I'm honestly not sure where to store that particular memory but…" she pulled away from the railing, "I'll keep your offer in mind." With a last smile she turned and headed back to her shuttle. Mal watched her go, the smile still playing about his lips

**a/n hey sorry bout the short chapter, next one will be loooong, i promise**


	38. Chapter 38

Simon kept feeling jolts of fear playing about in his stomach as he made his way upstairs to the kitchen

Simon kept feeling jolts of fear playing about in his stomach as he made his way upstairs to the kitchen. He was playing the scenario out in his head, trying to think of the best and worst possible reactions while subconsciously knowing he was not going to be able to predict how River would take it. He was met with the back of his sister's head as he stepped nervously into the homely room, watching Kaylee and River play piggy in the middle with Madeline. The girl was jumping up and down happily trying to reach the ball until Kaylee threw a 'bad shot' and she seized it in her little hands. Simon smiled with the celebrations but took the opportunity to lightly take River's arm. Her big brown eyes met his, curiosity etched onto her features as it so often was and Simon nearly smiled.

"Mei-mei," he said quietly, "can I talk to you?"

River nodded, looking down slightly and letting Simon lead her gently away. Something about his tone was worrying her, and he was chewing the side of his lip. She prodded his cheek lightly, making him smile and release it.

"Come in here," Simon showed her into her own bedroom and River sat herself cross-legged on the bed. Simon sat beside her with a sigh; River cocked her head and waited for him to explain to her. She watched him scrutinize a patch of carpet before turning to face her.

"River, remember me telling you about how I've been reading things?" Simon asked. River nodded, keeping her mouth open feeling she needed to breathe easier. Simon smiled sadly.

"Well, I've found a few things…" he took a deep breath, trying and failing to find a place to start. This was going to be hard enough on River without him spilling it wrong.

"Simon?" he could here the worry in his voice; his delaying wasn't helping her and Simon knew it. Maybe it would be easier if he just told her…

"Can you help me?" suddenly she was hopeful; her eyes immediately different as the glistened in the light reflecting the patterns in the room. It broke Simon's heart.

"Baby…" He wouldn't break it to her right away, "you know how you tell me you feel sick sometimes if you hold it in for to long?"

River nodded, her face falling into confusion. "You mean… when I need to tell you things?"

"Yeah," Simon said, taking her hand, "well… I've found out why."

River looked away; Simon could see her attempting to compose herself. It was like she knew already.

"Why?" her question came barely more than a whisper; she did not look back at him.

"You weren't… activating on your own," Simon explained to her, "no matter what they did they couldn't get parts of you… your conditioning to work. So they…" Simon paused, searching for the right word, "Changed you. they somehow linked your body with the parts of your mind they manipulated… further, I mean, so that if you refused to speak, or fight or whatever for long enough, you'd feel sick and deteriorate until your body figured out how to make it stop. By complying. That's why the treatments never worked, Mei-Mei," Simon squeezed her hand, "they did; they suppressed the alterations but made you sick because of what they did."

River's lip was shaking; she was staring across the room as tears fell in her open mouth. She closed her eyes slowly and took a shaking breath in, blinking and looking back at him.

"Can you stop it?" she asked, the pleading note not hidden in her voice. Simon sighed, wanting to hug her but knowing she wouldn't accept it at the moment.

"I don't think so," he said gently, "and even if I could it would mean…" he braced himself, "Brain surgery."

Simon saw the panic rush through River and she jerked her hand out of his; running them over her head and curling up.

"No," she begged, tears coming afresh, "no, no no… please Simon…"

"I know," Simon told her, desperately moving to take her in his arms, wishing he'd held his tongue, "I'm not going to, I promise… there's another way."

River's tears lessened enough for her to ask "what?"

"You'd have to let it out, River. You'd have to hear the things you hear and not block it, and say things when they come…"

"I can't!" River yelled, unravelling and staring him hard in the eye, "I can't do that Simon!"

"I know you're scared…" Simon attempted to soothe her.

"I am!" She half yelled, "I can't do it, I can't lose myself more! They put me in other people's heads and cut me and slowly I was eroded! You never got it, but it's not me! I'm not _me_ any more! And if I open and… I can't let go of what I have left, and if I do that…"

"Whoa, mei-mei, stop," Simon asked, his head spinning, "slow down and talk to me, please." River sobbed slightly, but backed up.

"if we weren't dependent on oxygen, chemicals and other mechanisms the only part of us that is really us is out brains," River babbled, suddenly unfocused, "that's why brain transplants aren't feasible, take it out and you lose the person inside; just replace or give a blank slate," she sighed, "mine was manipulated, I was manipulated, I was scared and helpless and blank and I became not a person. Mine was manipulated, therefore the person was manipulated and I'm not me. I'm just this stupid oxymoron that makes no sense, that's scared and broken and can't think and I just want to be me," River finally met Simon's eyes again, "I'm not me and all I want to be… Simon I just want to be me again. I can't be. I'm lost and you get this River instead. What they made. I'm not even a person any more."

She broke down again, the force of her misery causing her to tremble.

"I tried so hard to get me back, and when I couldn't… I tried to love the person I was now but I can't. I hate it. I hate it so much. But I didn't… want you to know because you gave up everything. I couldn't tell you you didn't find me. But… Simon I can't lose anymore. I don't want to disappear entirely."

Simon felt like he'd melted; his stomach had fallen out into the black below. He understood what River was saying and couldn't bear to have her feel this way. She had collapsed into a trembling mess, spilling all her sadness out in choking sobs that intensifies with each new reminder of what she was feeling. Simon unfroze; he pulled River's limp form into his arms despite her muffled protestations and cradled her, stroking her head and telling her over and over he loved her while she cried into his chest.

When she had finally calmed down to minimal tears Simon settled her into her bed, pulling a chair over and gripping her hand. River squeezed it, looking up at him apologetically.

"Are you mad?" she asked. Simon almost laughed, but he stopped knowing River would not appreciate it at this moment. Plus, he mused, it would probably be born out of hysterics.

"No, River," he said gently, giving her hand a light squeeze, "I'll never be angry at you for telling me the truth."

River gave what might have been a smile. "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"You didn't," Simon assured her, "but would you let me have a say?"

"Yes," River whispered worriedly.

"Thankyou," He kissed her head.

"First thing I want to say, and you don't get to say anything until I've finished," he said with a smiled, "_You are River. _I want you to realise that, mei-mei. I know it's hard. It's okay that you're scared, and that now you're worried a lot of the time. Its okay to feel helpless, mei-mei, there's no one in the world who'd deny you that if they knew. What you went through was terrible, I'm not trying to say otherwise. These feelings that you're having are normal, okay? They're _human. _The fact that you can't get your thoughts right doesn't make you any less of a person, that fact that _horrible people _did _horrible things _to you doesn't mean you aren't yourself. River, you've never lost yourself; you've just lost control. And that makes everyone feel useless," Simon smiled, "even big brothers when they feel like they can't help their baby sisters. It doesn't mean you aren't yourself, and I know that's how it feels. You're still here, you've always been here. You just have to re-learn some things and accept that… that there are going to be things you can't change. And that hurts, but you can make it through."

"Simon…"

"What'd I say?" Simon asked her teasingly.

"But…"

"Not yet," Simon told her. River closed her mouth but looked imploringly at her brother. Simon sighed.

"Okay, you can have your turn now." He sighed.

"I don't think you're right," River whispered slowly. Simon moaned. "I will think about it," she whispered, "but I don't… you're not in here." She tapped her head lightly.

"Don't I know it," Simon said with an attempt at a smile.

"But you said…" River sighed, "Something would help stop me getting sick?"

"Yes," Simon said slowly, "Remember the two options I gave you?"

"Surgery," River's fearful whisper gave her feelings away, "or… let what they did…"

"Yes," Simon affirmed. River looked away.

"There's no good in this," she said sadly.

"What do you mean?" Simon asked, worried.

"There's no good. At all. There's just bad after bad…"

"Can you give me an example?" Simon asked.

"This," River said quietly, "I don't want… I can't have anyone else cut in my head. But I can't… I don't know what will happen if I let go, even just a little. I don't think I'm strong enough. Then… we're here because I went there, and I should never have gone, I lost myself and you lost everything. And I hurt the crew… There's nothing good here."

Simon's heart was breaking' he cursed himself for allowing her to coax her over to the view that she wasn't River any more; even for a second. The River he knew had been able to find positives in everything; so much so he had worried about her sanity in his sullen teenage years. Now with his beautiful little sister who could find good in the darkest of circumstances saying that there was none; even though she was here with him, Simon found himself seeing her in a whole new light. _She's just scared; he_ told himself, _this is normal. She's just frightened. _

"Can't you see anything good about this? About any of this?" he elaborated in response to River's confusion. She frowned thoughtfully.

"I don't…"

"I'll give you an example," Simon said desperately, "If you hadn't of gone to the academy…" he cast his mind around, "you wouldn't have been able to help Madeline. That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"Yes," River said uncertainly.

"Now you tell me one," Simon implored.

"Simon…"

"_River."_

River sighed.

"I guess… if I hadn't gone I wouldn't be spending as much time with you," She said quietly, "Because you'd be working and I'd be at school."

"Yeah," Simon agreed, "anything else?"

"You wouldn't have met Kaylee," River gave him a cheeky smile.

"True," Simon said grudgingly, "and you wouldn't have seen Serenity. I know you love this ship."

"I do…" River looked uncertain. Simon was inwardly pleading that she'd understand. Her hands were still sitting limply in his; Simon could feel them shaking slightly. He was full of defeat; if she didn't accept this he didn't know what else he could tell her. If only will was the force of the universe…

"That's all external," River said, looking back at him, her voice still small but Simon heard the glimmer of hope behind it and knew she was starting to see. She just needed a little more help.

"Can you find anything positive about how you are now?" he hinted. River shook her head without even thinking. Simon knew it was down to him. He frantically scrambled around for something to tell her that would really make her see that she was still herself.

"I can," Simon grinned, answering quickly enough to make it appear as though he was confident. River watched him in silence, her brown eyes wondering at his statement.

"Tell me?" she asked, half her voice withheld as though holding back her hope.

"you're a lot more perceptive," Simon told her, "and you have a deeper understanding of people and experiences, your compassion has grown, you give everyone the gift of your empathy and you don't make them feel bad that you feel it with them. People lesser than you could do that, but you don't. You just tell them you understand; if not in words then in actions; and it comforts them. You give everyone your love and pour your heart into everything you do because you understand how important each moment is. You're unique and you are my River."

"Really?" River asked, her fingers clutching at the blanket and the hand in Simon's tightening around it.

"I promise." Simon smiled at her. River hesitated.

"You really think... I'm still me?"

"I most certainly do," Simon smiled; taking her hand in his spare one until both his engulfed her slender one. He was half tempted to ask if she did to, but she spoke before he could decide.

"So I have to let what they did to me happen?" she asked quietly, still holding his gaze.

"Yes," Simon said heavily, "which means speaking when you feel you need to, doing things when you feel the need and even… hearing other's thoughts on occasion. I know you're scared and you said you don't think you're strong enough… but I think you are."

River was silent, still watching him. She curled her lip in and bit it lightly; Simon could see she was contemplating his words.

"Okay," she said suddenly; and Simon was so thoroughly not expecting that response he nearly fell off his chair.

"Okay?" he asked, trying to sound calm. River giggled.

"Yes, okay." She laughed at Simon's aghast expression.

"Why?" Simon asked; biting his tongue almost as soon as he said it. He wasn't sure if she'd take his question as a sign of no confidence.

"Because I did a bit just to try," River blushed, "and… I heard that you believed I could."


	39. Chapter 39

Madeline snuck lightly through the halls of Serenity, stifling giggles as she went

Madeline snuck lightly through the halls of Serenity, stifling giggles as she went. The last three months had been kind to the motherly ship's crew; jobs were plentiful and less than serious wounds were a less common occurrence. Madeline carefully padded onto the carpeted area that surrounded Simon and River's bedroom, keeping her footsteps as quiet as possible in the echo prone spaceship. She reached River's door and smiled to herself in anticipation of prank before silently sliding the translucent panel back. Madeline stepped over the threshold, her glee turning to puzzlement as she scanned an empty room. _Where is she?_ Madeline thought. She barely had the chance to ponder further as a pair of hands grabbed her ribs and flung her into the air; explaining themselves with a loud "Gotcha!"

Madeline squeaked and found herself sitting in River's arms. River had a triumphant smile plastered on her face as she reached out and tweaked Madeline's nose. Madeline batter River's hand away, jutting her bottom lip forward in a pout.

"No fair," she complained, "you were reading me!"

River's face fell into mock horror at the accusation.

"I was not!" she paused, "well… maybe just a little." Madeline was not to be placated so easily. She crossed her arms in a huff.

"D' I hear hollerin'?" a sleepy head poked itself around the doorframe, blinking and staring in. Madeline wriggled out of River's hands and turned to the other for sympathy.

"Mal," she said with sing-song anger, "I was going to sneak up on River but she read me and caught me instead!"

"Aww, now that ain't fair River," Mal shot a surreptitious grin at her, "and on this young one's birthday too!"

Madeline looked at him in confusion before turning to River for an explanation. Before she could ask her big sister had engulfed her in strong arms.

"Happy birthday, mei-mei," she whispered into Madeline's hair. Madeline gripped her tightly.

"It's my birthday?" she asked.

"Sure is," Mal walked over as the two girls broke apart, "the big number ten." He lifted Madeline up onto his shoulders.

"Happy birthday nyen ching duh," he said, and then laughed. "There'll get to be a time when I can't call you that no more."

"Not for a while," River grinned. Mal smiled at her.

"Not if I can still call you that. But Jayne'd better keep Vera handy; boys'll be chasing after Maddy soon, and I ain't letting you date just yet." Madeline wrinkled her nose at the idea of boys chasing her. River laughed.

"Come on," River said, grasping her hand, "you'll be late for your party."

Despite the rise in her communication skills, Madeline's eyes had never lost their ability to show her thoughts. The light blue sparkles in delight as she took River's hand and followed her out of the room.

The kitchen had been draped in papers and the odd balloon littered the floor. A pink bed sheet doubled as a tablecloth as River sat Madeline at the head of the table, pulling a sparkling cone onto her head. The crew filtered in; each greeting the birthday girl with enthusiasm. Madeline giggled as they all sat down to eat; laughing and joking and giving her their attention. She took it all in good grace, modestly thanking everyone and blushing at their compliments. Lights flickered out as Jayne's face glowed in the wake of candle light. The combination of voices willed the room as the crew serenaded their little girl. A full bodied chocolate cake was placed ceremoniously in front of Madeline.

"Holy mother of cows everywhere, is that real?" Mal asked in disbelief.

"Sure is," Kaylee said happily, "Jayne asked his Mum to make it; we picked it up last stop. Bet none of you picked it, huh?"

There was silence.

"Jayne asked his mum?" Wash finally managed. Jayne got on the defensive.

"Double figures is a special time!" he said. Wash gaped.

"Stop it you two," Kaylee reproved, "wax is gettin' on Maddy's cake."

The crew turned to smile at Madeline, who had been watching the exchange with a patient expression. River whispered in her ear and she grinned. The small child took an exaggerated breath in that seemed to make her grow three times her normal size before leaning forward and expelling her wrath upon the candles. The crew applauded with whoops of merriment as the cake was eagerly dealt out.

The day had flown by amongst the festivities as Serenity ploughed though the silent blackness. Madeline ran excitedly though the doorway before River, leaping onto the bed, sending pillows flying and sitting completely upright to endear herself despite the mess she just made. River held back a giggle.

"Maybe I shouldn't tell you what your present is," she teased, "you're clearly not excited at all."

Madeline grinned. "Excitement levels at an all time low. Has forgotten the source of her newfound energy."

"Liar," River smiled, tackling her little sister and squeezing her tightly. Madeline laughed and hugged her back.

"Still now," River soothed her, "special thing for you, but you must listen." Madeline nodded, instantly becoming serious. River sighed inwardly and pulled an envelope of printed cardboard out of her pocket. Madeline watched intrigued as River passed it to her. Confirming with River by a glance that she could look inside, she carefully drew the contents out. River watched slightly sadly as Madeline's eyes travelled down the pamphlet inside, her lips curling into a wide grin as she read.

"Shinon academy of the arts?" she asked, eyes shining. River smiled.

"Inara sent them a recording of your music," she quietly, "they accepted you right away. It's all set up; Simon's gotten you clothes, Kaylee had hacked your identi-card and Mal's contacted one of his friends who has wiped you off the cortex. You have a new name to use there so they won't find you."

"I can go?" Madeline nearly squeaked with delight. River smiled.

"You can go," She affirmed. Madeline's eyes immediately shot back to the pamphlet, examining all the wonders she would be in for. River's heart panged slightly; she remembered feeling the same excitement when she had been accepted into The Academy. Like Madeline, she had been so wrapped up in exhilaration it had been a while before she had realised it meant living away from the people she loved. Then the truth to what went on… River shook herself. _That's not going to happen here _she told herself. Madeline was gripping the pamphlet with so much enthusiasm.

"You don't have to go if you don't want," River said, her voice straining. Madeline looked up; suspicion playing about her features.

"Is there something wrong?" she queried worriedly.

"No, mei-mei, of course not," River tried to smile, "I'm just telling you… we're not sending you away. It's up to you."

Madeline dropped her head a moment, examining her treasure before looking back at River as though she had just realised the full implications.

"I want to go," she whispered apologetically. River hugged her.

"That's fine, baby," she assured Madeline, "that's great. And we'll come back and visit you, and you can wave us whenever you want."

Madeline's fingers tightened on the material around River's back.

"I'll miss you," her voice was shaking and something wet hit River's neck.

"I'll miss you too," River squeezed her, "I love you, mei-mei. Never forget that."

Madeline pulled out of her arms. "I love you too, jie-jie," she smiled. River laughed and hugged her again. The two girls spent the rest of the night excitedly going though the pamphlet and sharing a last moment of peace before their paths split again.

A slightly dejected crew's footsteps sang their way up the metal ramp back into Serenity. The brilliantly green scenery of Shinon was obscured as the metal rose to enclose them all again. River had been silent most of the trek back from the splendour of the Arts Academy; merely nodding to answer any enquiries about her wellbeing. She sat on a crate at the edge of the cargo bay, feeling decidedly empty and watching the rest of the crew as they adjusted to leaving Madeline in civilization. Inara kept looking worriedly over her shoulder until Mal hugged her shoulders and kissed her cheek.

"Don'tcha worry yourself, she'll be fine," he whispered gently to her. River smiled as Inara leant back into his arms.

"I suppose so," the companion sighed and let Mal guide her into the ship. Glancing above her on the catwalk, River saw Kaylee staring wistfully out the small window in the scarred metal. Simon came p behind her, and, after standing there awkwardly for about a minute, tapped her on the shoulder. Kaylee turned.

"Hey," Simon began shakily, "I was wondering if… next time we're planet side you might… like to grab dinner with me?"

River had to look away to stop herself from laughing, but found that without the crew to focus on the emptiness of leaving Madeline behind engulfed her suddenly. River swallowed hard as an overwhelming worry and pain made her head spin. In the back of her mind she was wonderfully ecstatic that Madeline had been given the opportunity to achieve her dream; it was all River had ever wanted for her. But that background knowledge could not seem to get past the fact that River _missed_ Madeline so intensely. She inwardly cursed herself for her selfishness, but even tat did not dissolve it. River hugged her knees sadly, trying to stop the build up of emotions long enough to let her happiness for Madeline shine through.

"You okay there, nyen ching duh?" River glanced up and spotted Mal leaning in the doorway.

"Didn't know I was being watched," she smiled to let him know she wasn't upset.

"well, I must be getting' sneakier. Not easy to get past you." he smiled, coming to sit next to her. River resumed staring at her feet.

"It'll be hard for a few days," Mal sighed knowingly. River looked up; following his gaze out the window.

"It'll get better though. It just hurts now because it's new. Fresh wound. But soon you'll hear from her and everything will be fine."

"I shouldn't be sad," River stated.

"I ain't saying that," Mal said quickly.

"I am."

"Now why's that?" Mal asked gently.

"Not fair to her," River said quietly, "Dampens it for Maddy, makes her feel guilty because I'm sad. It's not right."

"No," Mal said, "It's human. She's going through the same thing right now; I can bet you anything. It's nothing bad."

"Listen to the captain, River," both Mal and River were taken by surprise as Zoe entered the hold, "you shouldn't be ashamed because you care for her. That's all it is."

"You've been told," Mal said jokingly, watching Zoe exit after giving River a meaningful look. River grinned.

"That notion out of your head yet?" Mal asked.

"Almost," River sighed. Mal hugged her carefully. He looked out the window where the glow of Shinon's atmosphere was quickly leaving the frame. He smiled lightly to himself as a saying popped into his head. River's ears pricked up at her captain's words.

"Distance and existence are only words to the soul. Neither one keeps it from joining to those it loves."

**A/N annnnd it's over :) :( Thanks to everyone who read and put up with my ramblings, I really appreciate it. it's been greatly encourageing and hopefully you'll hear from me again soon. Keep flying!**


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